Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • The plant app says that I either watered my plant too much or not enough. Very helpful. Thanks!
  • A man outside Boots told me that Jesus died for my sins. Thanks for spoiling the end of the Bible. I was only up to the bit with the fish.
  • Don’t tell me what to do unless you are naked.
  • I’ve folded seven page corners of the book I’m reading. That’s 49 in dog ears.
  • “At your big age” is one of my favorite insults.
  • “Hope you’re enjoying the sunshine!” No, I’m at a desk reading your email.