Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • After an hour on this team meeting I’m not wanting to be a team player anymore.
  • I am such a fun person and so easy to get along with as long as the layout I have secretly imagined for the entire day goes exactly as I planned it without variation or interruption.
  • My brain doesn’t sea typos until I’ve already hit send.
  • Monday morning looks like Jack Nicholson breaking through the door in The Shining.
  • Want to lose weight for the summer? Don’t worry, just check in your luggage at the airport. You’ll never see those pounds again.
  • My Christmas letter this year includes a bonus DVD of my colonoscopy.