41 funny screen quotes - Wordgag

Can’t, too busy deleting screenshots of my lock screen.

May 23, 2026

Just give your kids the iPad. They’re the ones who’ll be fighting cyborgs in the future.

May 22, 2026

On the whole, people are getting smarter. I remember when they had to put “The End” on the screen, so people would know the movie was over.

May 22, 2026

Google Maps should not count towards my screen time. I’m not addicted to my phone, I’m disoriented.

May 22, 2026

The only constant in my life are the accidental screenshots of my lock screen.

May 22, 2026

I need a button in Zoom meetings where it just freezes my screen and makes it look like I’m having network issues.

May 21, 2026

Screen time so high, I should send another risky message and then ignore my cell phone for three days.

May 21, 2026

Do you think I’ll read a book again at some point or will I continue to dumb myself down with 12 hours of screen time?

May 21, 2026

When God created the giraffe, he probably slipped with the mouse on the screen. This is how its neck was created.

May 21, 2026

I might be annoying, but at least my lock screen isn’t a selfie.

May 20, 2026

My phone screen is brighter than my future.

May 20, 2026

For someone with a dry phone, I’m on it way too much.

May 19, 2026

Phone is a cigarette for eyes.

May 19, 2026

Tired of looking at a bad screen. Can’t wait to get home and look at a good screen.

May 19, 2026

Phones are wild… we really just sit around tapping glass all day.

May 19, 2026

Thank you, God, for another day. Let’s get this 12-hour screen time.

May 19, 2026

Screen time on your computer feels like healthy screen time, screen time on your phone feels like evil screen time.

May 19, 2026

Sorry I missed your call, I was staring in horror at the screen, wondering why on earth you couldn’t just text me.

May 18, 2026

I’ve successfully reduced phone time by looking at computer more.

Apr 1, 2026

People will scroll on their phones for 6 hours a day and wonder how other people can watch a movie every day.

Apr 1, 2026

To be happy as a man, you simply need to replace your screen time with beautiful women time.

Apr 1, 2026

The phone is the most evil screen. The computer is somewhat evil, but less so than the phone. The TV is benevolent.

Apr 1, 2026

Juggling screen time is the ultimate multitasking Olympics.

Mar 31, 2026

Asking a film guy, “Who is that?” when Tom Cruise comes on screen just to feel something.

Mar 31, 2026

Sometimes being on your phone all day is your destiny.

Mar 30, 2026

You stop moving your mouse for 5 seconds, and Microsoft Teams will say you never showed up for work.

Mar 30, 2026

Can’t wait for the day off from work so I can sit on the couch at home and stare at the TV screen while thinking about work.

Mar 30, 2026

You better be kissing the screen when I send pics.

Mar 29, 2026

Time to put the stressful screen away (phone) and switch to the comfort screen (Kindle).

Mar 29, 2026

Phone addiction got so bad that watching a movie feels productive.

Mar 29, 2026

Trying to spend less time on my phone so I can get back to something I’ve loved since childhood: watching TV.

Mar 29, 2026

Dark mode changed me. White screens now feel like staring into the sun.

Mar 29, 2026

I’ve used dark mode so much that I’m physically repulsed by white screens now.

Mar 29, 2026

At the Pride and Prejudice showing booing whenever Prejudice comes on screen.

Mar 29, 2026

When they say screen time is bad for you, they just mean the ones at work, right?

Mar 29, 2026

I wish my life could have a stats screen but for things I care about. Like how many English Muffins with peanut butter I’ve eaten.

Mar 29, 2026

Used dark mode so much that I became physically repulsed when I see a white screen.

Mar 27, 2026

Will someone please make me drink some water and limit my screen time?

Mar 27, 2026

Some people are so fake, their lock screens don’t recognize them.

Mar 26, 2026

Bag of flesh that acts weird when another bag of flesh doesn’t send symbols on glowing screen.

Mar 26, 2026