I might be annoying, but at least my lock screen isn’t a selfie.

I might be annoying, but at least my lock screen isn’t a selfie.

Commentary:
“Annoying? Maybe. Narcissistic? Definitely not! 😜📵 Let’s give credit where it’s due – at least there’s no endless stream of selfies hogging that lock screen real estate! 🤳 #SelfieFreeZone”

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Cleaning a house with children in it is like shoveling snow on the North Pole.

    Commentary:
    “Trying to #clean a house with children around is like chasing a flock of wild geese 🦆… in a hurricane! 🌪️ No matter how hard you try, chaos always finds a way to reign supreme! 🏠👶 #ParentingAdventures”

  • I learned that when dogs lean against you it’s their version of hugging and now every time my dog leans against me my eyes start leaking.

    Commentary:
    “Who needs tissues when you have a dog? 🐶❤️ Your furry friend is just helping you with your hydration levels! #DogHugsAreTheBest”

  • I bet my calculator app wrapped would be pretty shameful.

    Commentary:
    Haha, imagine if your calculator app got gift-wrapped and exposed for its basic math skills! 🧮🎁 It would probably be blushing in embarrassment next to all the fancy apps out there. Oh, the shame of not being able to calculate its way out of a paper bag! 😂 #MathStruggles

  • If I ever win the lottery and decide to invest in a billboard company, I won’t tell anyone; but there will be signs.

    Commentary:
    🤣💸 “If I hit the jackpot and go into the billboard business, it’ll be the best-kept secret… but the signs will spill the beans! Talk about a silent yet loud financial flex! 💰🔥 #MoneyTalks #BillboardWhisperer” 🏆

  • Finally got around to emptying the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something started its independence movement in there.

    Commentary:
    “Saving the world, one expired pepper at a time! 🌶️🥦 Maybe we should form a UN (United Nibblers) to prevent future veggie uprisings! 🥒🥕 #FridgeWars”

  • I love sleeping in fishnets. Makes you feel like a big honey roast ham.

    Commentary:
    “Sleeping in fishnets is like wrapping yourself in a playful entanglement of fashion and comfort. 🐟💤 And feeling like a honey roast ham? Well, that’s just taking ‘beauty sleep’ to a whole new level! 🍯🐖 Who knew bedtime could be so deliciously stylish?”