Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Called in, “I put the lime in the coconut and drank it all up.”
  • Sometimes I miss the time when there was only one idiot per village.
  • I was abducted by aliens. They made me wash my hands, clean my room, and eat my vegetables. Turns out I was on the mothership.
  • If painting yourself into a corner was considered art, I’d be Michelangelo.
  • All of my problems boil down to me being bad at being alive.
  • Welcome to middle age, where you wake up hungover whether you’ve had a drink or not.