If only guys would moan in bed like they do in the gym…

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

My bed wasn’t feeling well this morning, so I had to stay home to take care of it.

I haven’t even gone to bed yet and I already can’t wait to get home from work tomorrow.

Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money.

So grateful for pillows. My head works hard, it deserves its own bed.

Unfortunately most of my sex noises come from trying to get out of bed.

I’m not sure how long my body can handle this “getting out of bed early in the morning” nonsense.

Best threesome: me, my bed and my pillow.

It’s almost bed time, so I’ll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.

I like my bed more than I like most people.

Nothing ruins my day quite like getting out of bed and dealing with people.

Itโ€™s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I donโ€™t actually go to bed right away.

I hate that moment when you are tired and sleepy but as soon as you go to bed your body is like “just kidding.”

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

I once let a really short guy be the big spoon and it felt like I went to bed with a backpack on.

Sex is cool but have you ever had your bed all to yourself.

Iโ€™m going to bed, everyone. Try to keep it down.

They should make a tanning bed that constantly rolls you over like a gas station hotdog.

Looking for someone whose favorite thing to do is nothing. No hiking. No adventure. Just bed rot.

Youโ€™re in her DMs, sheโ€™s in my bed whining that itโ€™s too cold. Can you come get her?

The sound of rain outside when youโ€™re in bed is elite.

Relationship status: I love my bed.

Show dominance by ending the year in bed.

All day I think about sleep but when itโ€™s time to go to bed I donโ€™t wanna.