Funny bed quotes

Funny bed quotes are the perfect way to celebrate our favorite place of rest, relaxation, and sometimes, procrastination! 😄🛏️ Whether you’re a nap enthusiast or a serial snoozer, these hilarious sayings will have you chuckling as you snuggle under the covers. Sweet dreams—or maybe just a little more time scrolling in bed! 😴🛌

I set my alarms extra early to make sure I have enough time to lay in bed and be angry about having to wake up.

Funny Quotes September 10, 2024

So apparently they don’t count as sit-ups if you’re just trying to get out of bed.

Funny Quotes September 9, 2024

Shout-out to my embarrassingly squeaky ass bed frame that makes me sound more popular than I actually am to my neighbors.

Funny Quotes September 9, 2024

My favorite part of The Godfather is when the guy wakes up and screams because the Mafia has stolen the bottom half of the horse he keeps in his bed.

Funny Quotes September 6, 2024

Happy return of “yes of course it’s bedtime, see how dark it is outside” to all parents who celebrate.

Funny Quotes September 4, 2024

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

Funny Quotes September 4, 2024

Every night at bedtime I do one small ritual: six hours on my cell phone.

Funny Quotes August 31, 2024

One night stands just make more sense for single people. Why would you need a night stand on both sides of the bed?

Funny Quotes August 28, 2024

The theory that two stacked beds can’t be converted into two regular beds has been debunked.

Funny Quotes August 28, 2024

The possibility of monsters residing underneath your bed is negated when the mattress is positioned on the floor.

Funny Quotes August 22, 2024

I’m implementing a new policy in my house: any child who is awake past bedtime can either go to sleep or clean the house, no exceptions.

Funny Quotes August 21, 2024

Keeping a picture of my bed in a locket around my neck and staring at it longingly on my lunch break.

Funny Quotes August 16, 2024

Nothing prepared me for the part of adulthood where you look like a baby deer learning to walk every time you get out of bed in the morning.

Funny Quotes August 9, 2024

I toss and turn in bed all night like a beautiful rotisserie chicken.

Funny Quotes August 8, 2024

If your kids aren’t drinking enough water, tell them it’s bedtime.

Funny Quotes August 3, 2024