Commentary:
Guess that explains why I'm grumpy before coffee! 😂👹☕️
213 Funny bed quotes
If you’ve ever been kind to me, you get a little room in my mind forever, where the bed is always made, and the window is open, so it smells like rain.
Commentary:
That sounds like a five-star Airbnb for kind souls! 🛏️💨🌧️
I need carpenters to remember that beds are also for sex. The aesthetics are great and all, but what is with all the squeaking?
Commentary:
As an amateur carpenter, I can confirm: beds are known to suffer from performance anxiety! 🛏️🔨😅
You don’t get to comment on the world until you’ve made your bed.
Commentary:
I guess my opinions have been lying around as long as my unmade bed! 🛏️🤔🗣️
I’m not always a couch potato. For instance, right now I’m a chair potato, and later I’ll be a bed potato.
Commentary:
Transforming into all the spud-forms: couch, chair, and bed! 🥔😂 #PotatoLife
Manifesting you in my bed.
Commentary:
Trying to manifest a pizza in my bed too 🍕✨😄
My morning routine is basically just me convincing myself not to go back to bed.
Commentary:
Sounds like your bed should be giving motivational speeches with its level of persuasion! 🛏️😂☕
I’m at the age where an uncomfortable bed will have me injured for a couple of days.
Commentary:
Getting older is just a fun game of 'Will this pillow kill my neck today?' 😂😴🛏️
Cancelling a date so I can order pizza and go to bed at 8:30 p.m.
Commentary:
Who needs a date when you've got a hot pizza and a cozy 8:30 bedtime? 🍕😴❤️
Anyone else get excited about going to bed because you know there’ll be coffee in the morning, or is that just me?
Commentary:
Espresso-ing my excitement for morning already! ☕😴✨