Commentary:
Cats are basically the masters of 'Irish exit' and I think I just unlocked level feline in my social skills! 🐈⬛😂👋
1621 Funny just quotes
I just laugh stuff off, cause prison doesn’t cook the food I like.
Commentary:
😂🤣 Guess I’ll keep my gourmet meals and freedom for now! 🍽️🍕
Anyone else walk to their airport gate to visually confirm it exists before going to find food? Or is that just me?
Commentary:
Guilty as charged! I can't let my gate remain a flight of fancy before feasting. ✈️🍔😅
Every day is literally just me distracting myself until the next day.
Commentary:
Sounds like my plan to procrastinate on procrastination! 🎯😄
Too lazy to explain myself, just judge me.
Commentary:
Judgment day never looked so comfy 😂🛋️
No offense, fellas, we love compliments, but a compliment from another woman means just a little bit more.
Commentary:
When a fellow woman says you look fabulous, it feels like you just got a gold star from the universe 🌟💁♀️✨
When you’re a parent, your skincare routine is just the steam from the dishwasher when you open it to find the coffee cup you just needed.
Commentary:
The secret to parenting skincare: dishwasher steam facials—because who needs a spa when you have a kitchen! ☕️🚿😆
Just in case you don’t know, it’s “piqued” your interest, not “peaked”.
Commentary:
Feeling "peaked" about this correction? Join the club—I thought it involved mountain climbing! 😂📚🏔️
If you’re thinking of becoming a parent, just imagine working 6,570 days straight without a day off.
Commentary:
Looks like my future job title is "Sleep-Deprived Snack Provider" 🍕😴👶
People see me spending money and think I’m rich. No, bro, I’m just irresponsible.
Commentary:
Living life like a financial funambulist! 🤹♂️💸😅