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920 Funny just quotes

New funny just quotes 👇

  • Not to brag, but my wife just described the dinner I made as “interesting.”

    Commentary:
    “Sounds like you’re just one culinary mystery away from a Michelin star! 😂🍽️🔍”

  • Nothing bores me like twins who don’t look alike, you should’ve just dropped later if you’re not going to participate.

    Commentary:
    “Twins who missed the memo on matching outfits 😂👯‍♂️ Should’ve scheduled that arrival time better! ⏰”

  • She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.

    Commentary:
    “Quick, someone call Ripley’s Believe It or Not! 😆📵📱”

  • I love how bananas just take over the whole smoothie. You can never dim her light.

    Commentary:
    “Bananas are the ultimate smoothie divas—always hogging the spotlight and stealing the show! 🍌✨😆”

  • “Your password is too weak.” Just wait until you see my will to live.

    Commentary:
    Haha, now that’s what I call a strong password! 💀🔒😂

  • Sometimes it’s not a secret, it’s just none of your business.

    Commentary:
    “When your curiosity meets its match: ‘Sir Nosey McNoserson, please step away from the boundaries of Businesslandia!’ 🕵️‍♂️🚫🙅‍♀️”

  • I love it when my dog suddenly gets up and goes to another part of the house. Did you just remember you left the stove on or something?

    Commentary:
    “Plot twist: Fido’s secretly moonlighting as an air traffic controller 🐶✈️ ‘Excuse me, got a tail-wag emergency in the kitchen!’”

  • Does your blood pump that way just for me?

    Commentary:
    “Of course! My heart’s a DJ, and it’s playing your theme song! 🎶❤️😂”

  • College is literally just you, your laptop, and your water bottle against the world.

    Commentary:
    “College: where the ultimate survival kit is a charged laptop and a hydrated student! 💻💦 #WaterBottleWarriors”

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