Random Funny Quotes

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  • People complain about jury duty as if listening to true crime all day and being sequestered at night isn’t secretly every mother’s fantasy.
  • If you want to experience hunger, go and live with a wealthy person or family.
  • The best way to enjoy your tea while the world is falling apart around you is to remember that the world has always been falling apart around you.
  • Body: time to fall asleep. Brain: hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.
  • Men, it’s really simple. We want everything, but nothing, at the same time or different times, sometimes but not always.
  • Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got engaged, broke up, married other people, had children, reunited, got married, broke up again, and I’ve been single that whole time.