Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

When a man gets married he has a moral obligation to scare his wife when he sneezes.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Sorry, I can’t tonight. I’m busy taking things personally.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Sex is great, but have you ever started slowly picking up speed after sitting in a traffic jam?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

I think something’s missing in my life… Like… 2-3 million dollars.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Some people get weird as they get older. Not me, though. I’ve always been weird.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m proud of myself because, despite having so many expenses, I still manage to add more.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

All arguments are solvable. The trick? Get naked.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Today I ate vegetable lasagna… I don’t want to talk about it.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

They should invent a day where I feel normal.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

To whoever has my voodoo doll, please stop making her go to work.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Jan 2, 2026

3,621

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

People will love you. People will hate you. And none of it will have anything to do with you.

Live now on YouTube:

When I tell a joke that doesn’t land, I follow up with a worse one to make my audience realize how good they had it with the first joke.

Spotted on Messenger:

For International Women’s Day, I’m going to celebrate by hitting every curb I see.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I’ve started dating myself exclusively but it’s not working out.

Just shared via Telegram:

We’re all mature, until someone pulls out some bubble wrap.

Making waves on YouTube:

The absolute injustice of being asked to come and take away the boxes of junk that you’ve been storing at your parents’ house for 20 years.

Going bananas on Threads:

The best part about filling out doctor appointment forms online is when you get there and they say “hello, please fill out these forms!”

Just landed via Messenger:

In an alternate universe, sex dreams of me.

Going bananas on Threads:

Whoever thinks money doesn’t buy happiness can deposit it in my bank account.

Just landed via Slack:

In honor of Charles Dickens, I will also be poor this Christmas.

Adulting in 3 words: it’s always something.

2 months ago

0

Adulting in 3 words: it’s always something.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Adulting in 3 words: Permanent Chaotic Circus 🤹‍♂️🎪 Just when you think you've got it all figured out, here comes yet another plot twist to keep you on your toes! Embrace the chaos, embrace the unexpected – that's just the thrilling rollercoaster ride of being a responsible grown-up!"

adulting, always, challenges, humor, life, reality, responsibility, something, words

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Calling a lobotomy a “lobobo” to fit in with Gen Z.

0

2 months ago

brain, calling, fit, gen, Gen Z, health, humor, language, lobobo, lobotomy, meme, mental, mental health, slang, z
I think it’s time when we buy new clothes that we have the option to buy the body they’re being modelled in too.

0

2 months ago

being, body, buy, clothes, fashion, humor, i, model, new, option, shopping, think, time, too
I tell it like it is: Sometimes I watch the calls on my cell phone and just wait for it to stop ringing.

0

2 months ago

call, calls, cell, cell phone, humor, i, interaction, just, phone, procrastination, ringing, social, social interaction, sometimes, stop, stop ringing, tell, wait, watch
If you show her you care, she will keep you as a spare.

0

2 months ago

care, commitment, dating, humor, keep, love, relationship, show, spare
You know you don’t have to give your bathroom a beach theme, there’s no law.

0

2 months ago

bathroom, beach, beach theme, creativity, decoration, design, give, humor, interior, interior design, know, law, theme
Driving between speed cameras is called intermittent fasting.

0

2 months ago

camera, diet, driving, fasting, humor, intermittent, intermittent fasting, joke, speed, speed camera, traffic

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Threads this month:

Being married means mostly shouting “What?” from other rooms.

39 shares on Snapchat this month:

That annoying moment when you’re texting someone and autocorrect decides to join the conversation.

85 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Trying to bribe Monday with coffee to get it to act like a Friday.

100 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m just saying, no dog has ever ghosted me.

74 shares on Facebook this month:

If you can figure out how to configure your default state to be slightly amused rather than slightly annoyed, you pretty much enter God Mode.

48 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Went out of town, came back and the roomba changed all the locks.

35 shares on TikTok this month:

When you thought something would be easy peasy lemon squeezy, but it’s actually been stressy, depressy, lemon zesty.

25 shares on Instagram this month:

Does anyone actually know how to pronounce Worcestershire sauce correctly, or do we all just stumble through it and hope for the best?

37 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t know much, but I do know melancholia is a way cooler diagnosis than depression.

48 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Getting drunk was invented by Big Text to make you send more texts.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re riding a bike in New York City, it means you care about your health. Riding one in Tennessee means you got a DUI.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My teen would like you to know I ruined her life when I did her laundry today.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s messed up that there are a million songs about love, but zero about hopping on a quick call with key stakeholders.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Workplace Wrapped: you had 60k minutes of meetings this year that could’ve been an email.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Rent really don’t make no sense. Like, why is my apartment getting a raise every year? Who is doing the performance review?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

As a teen: secretly drinking in the park with friends. As an adult: secretly drinking in the park with squirrels.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Haggis – the meal you have to stomach twice.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so single right now that I stood on a cliff and shouted, “I love you,” and my echo replied, “I just wanna be friends.”

14 folks are currently checking 👀

You gotta be careful: don’t say a word to nobody about nothing anytime ever.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

People are too casual about the fact that parrots can talk.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,655

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

One time, when I was a kid, I fell off my bike and hit my head so hard, I was briefly able to communicate with bees.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Trying to be cute today but my face isn’t cooperating.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

They need to invent a job for people who aren’t good at anything nor motivated nor social.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

The bank just called and gave me the biggest compliment, said my balance is outstanding. I really needed that today.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Soft launching your call out the next day by telling everyone at work your stomach feels a little weird.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Nobody stresses a woman out more than a man who isn’t her man yet.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

I thought Game of Thrones was a pooping contest for men.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

For years I thought an oncologist was just the doctor they kept on-call at all times.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

I hate being in that mood where nothing’s really wrong but nothing feels right either.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

I really love how squirrels get extra chubby heading into winter mostly because it’s super relatable.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

Nothing is more awkward than trying to tell an online joke to offline people.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Things will be fine, eventually—in thousands of years—for rocks.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I need the youth to start reading. Even if it’s the tag on your underwear. Read it.

Just shared via Slack:

If you step on the back of my shoe and it comes off, I will do the same thing to your head.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Mondays are for pretending. Real work begins on Tuesday.

Seen just now on X:

Wanted to report a YouTube video, but there is no option for “Cringe”, so I just picked “Terrorism”.

Making waves on X:

Me drinking green tea: this is going to fix everything.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

My toxic trait is when I’m bored, I start looking for flights to book.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

If someone drunk texts you, appreciate it. They’ve thought of you when they can barely think straight.

Going viral on Discord:

A female will ghost you, and the whole time she is waiting for you to text back again.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴