71 funny words quotes - Wordgag

You can’t spell fries without friends. I guess what I’m saying is that fries are friends. Delicious friends.

May 23, 2026

I like people who can admit their mistakes and apologize. In other words, I like very few people.

May 22, 2026

Is he trying to pronounce “charcuterie” or is he having a stroke?

May 22, 2026

Welcome to your 40s, you now don’t understand a single word anyone under 25 is saying.

May 22, 2026

When your name is Jenn, people think it’s short for Jennifer, but it’s really short for Jennatalia.

May 22, 2026

You can just make up words and if you say them in a Scottish accent, people will think they’re real: Looka the wee janglers on that tary bibbit.

May 22, 2026

Girls Just Want To Have Naan

May 22, 2026

Why waste words or gestures when a raised eyebrow is enough to make a statement?

May 22, 2026

Due to inflation, a picture is now worth 2300 words.

May 22, 2026

“You handled that with such grace” are words that have never been spoken to me.

May 22, 2026

The longest and most adventurous journeys begin with the words: “I know a shortcut.”

May 22, 2026

You can pronounce it “Nude Jersey” and no one will know.

May 22, 2026

Was that meant to be a joke or did you just accidentally spill a bunch of words you were carrying around?

May 22, 2026

Asbestos? I’m doing asbestos I can.

May 21, 2026

Three words no parent ever wants to hear when dropping their kid at a play date: “Come on in.”

May 21, 2026

Liberté. Egalité. Second Coffeé.

May 21, 2026

I’m soirée for my mispronunciation of French words.

May 21, 2026

Not to brag but this cashier is checking me out.

May 21, 2026

Human interaction is a great way to learn all the new swear words your subconscious mind has come up with in the lab.

May 21, 2026

IKEA assembly instructions should come with a glossary of Swedish swear words.

May 21, 2026

I’m accused of being a plagiarist. Their words, not mine.

May 21, 2026

That awkward moment you can’t understand what somebody is saying after they have repeated it about five times.

May 20, 2026

Adulting in 3 words: it’s always something.

May 20, 2026

You never realize how many curse words are in a song till you play it for your family.

May 20, 2026

“Well at least I don’t have to wake up any more.” Is what I want my tombstone to say.

May 20, 2026

I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face, but with words.

May 20, 2026

If you want people to have kind words when you pass, you should say kind words when you’re alive.

May 19, 2026

Don’t put words in my mouth—that’s where the hot dogs go.

May 19, 2026

The words I can’t wait to hear someday, “I’m sorry, Mom, you were right about everything.”

May 19, 2026

I like that linguists chose the term ‘loan words,’ implying that one day we’ll get them back.

Apr 1, 2026

(to my executioner) I wish we had met before this. You seem cool.

Apr 1, 2026

When I die and y’all go through my search history, you’ll be disappointed to find mostly just definitions for very common words that I wasn’t sure I was using correctly.

Apr 1, 2026

There are approximately 1,010,300 words in the English language, but I could never string enough words together to properly express how much I want to hit you with a chair.

Mar 31, 2026

Putting together a piece of furniture today, so my kids are about to learn swear words that haven’t even been invented yet.

Mar 31, 2026

“There are no words in the English language that have all the vowels in alphabetical order,” he said facetiously.

Mar 31, 2026

Without the words ‘literally’ and ‘like,’ I am nothing.

Mar 31, 2026

Sorry, I can’t hang out. I don’t know enough words.

Mar 31, 2026

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok.” Well, I just made some shit up, and people believe me because I’m well read and use big words.

Mar 30, 2026

Some of you are still single because, when someone sends you romantic words, you reply with “hahaha.”

Mar 30, 2026

As a student, the most comforting words you’ll ever hear are “I haven’t started either.”

Mar 30, 2026