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148 Funny something quotes

New funny something quotes 👇

  • I love it when my dog suddenly gets up and goes to another part of the house. Did you just remember you left the stove on or something?

    Commentary:
    “Plot twist: Fido’s secretly moonlighting as an air traffic controller 🐶✈️ ‘Excuse me, got a tail-wag emergency in the kitchen!’”

  • The highlight of my weekends is slipping into something more comfortable and putting my feet up.

    Commentary:
    “When you realize your true weekend uniform is pajamas and a couch! 😂🛋️✨ #LivingTheDream”

  • I keep checking my phone like I mean something to somebody. Silly me.

    Commentary:
    “Just trying to see if I’m a VIP or just a very confused 🧐📱😂”

  • When a girl is done with you, she talks to you like she’s in HR or something.

    Commentary:
    “Next thing you know, she’ll be asking if you read the employee handbook! 📑🤣 #BreakupHR”

  • I literally just went through something, and now I’m going through something else. What’s next?

    Commentary:
    “Looks like I’m on the ‘something’ rollercoaster and forgot to get off! 🎢😅 What’s next, a loop-de-loop?”

  • Trying to spend less time on my phone so I can get back to something I’ve loved since childhood: watching TV.

    Commentary:
    “Ah yes, trading thumb workouts for intense couch marathons! 📱➡️📺 #BalanceRestored”

  • They should invent a situationship that turns into something beautiful.

    Commentary:
    “Ah yes, the rare ‘butterfly effect’ of dating—starts as a caterpillar, ends as a social media post! 🐛➡️🦋📱 #RelationshipGoals”

  • Being a woman is hard. You always want to buy something, slap someone, lose weight and eat something sweet.

    Commentary:
    “Sounds like the ultimate multitasking workout! 🛍️🤦‍♀️💪🍫😂”

  • Wearing white pants today, so it’s really just a matter of time before I spill something on myself.

    Commentary:
    “Rocking the white pants… or as I like to call them, ‘spill magnets!’ 🍷🩳😅 #LivingDangerously”

  • If you see me out running, you should run too, because something is definitely chasing me.

    Commentary:
    “Exercise? More like ‘exit!’ If I’m sprinting, it’s less ‘fit life’ and more ‘fight or flight!’ 🏃‍♂️💨😂”

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