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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

I’m saving money on rent by moving into an abandoned cobweb.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

“Girls just want to have fun!” No, I want one million dollars cash.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Sometimes nature makes art, like trees, waterfalls, and the human butt.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Only a fool would use the toothbrush the dentist gives you. You think the dentist would freely hand you the tools that would keep them away?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

I went downstairs to get my charger. I came back up with a bowl of ice cream and no charger.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

You didn’t get fired, your job “fumbled you”.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

We put a man on the moon in 1969, and if you elect me to be your president, I promise that we will not stop until every man is on the moon.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

And then there are those dates after which you think: “Have I really shaved my legs for this?”

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Moms be like, “I needed this,” and it’s really just a break from being the one who holds it all together every single day.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

I swear people go to Starbucks and just say random words. “Lemme get a grande iced mocha no foam quad soy hexagon vortex hypothesis with steamed ice”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,491

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

I put my bathroom scale in the corner, and that’s where the little liar will stay until it apologizes.

Trending via YouTube:

I’m so old, I still keep special moments in my heart and not in my Insta story.

Breaking via Slack:

I’m currently trying not to read anything about carbohydrates after 4pm.

Just landed via TikTok:

On my way to Mordor. You nerds need anything?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

My spirit animal is that one bird that knocks itself unconscious, flying into windows.

Breaking via Discord:

December calories don’t count. That’s the law.

Seen just now on X:

Making eye contact with strangers on the sidewalk and saying “it’s crazy that they just let me walk around, haha”.

Just shared via Discord:

There’s nothing worse than accidentally becoming an important person at your job.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Sunday should be 48 hours instead of 24 hours, I need more time to be ready for Monday.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you either have a naked window neighbor or you are the naked window neighbor.

Are you mad at me? Have you been mad at me? Will you be mad at me? When will you be mad at me?

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I feel like I'm starring in a soap opera called "The Many Moods of Madness"! 🎭😅

anger, confusion, dialogue, emotion, frustration, mad, me, question, relationship

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Why is it called “free time” when I use it to spend all my money?

0

2 months ago

finance, free, free time, humor, i, irony, leisure, money, spend, spending, time
Did 900 crunches today. It was a bag of Cheetos, but still.

0

2 months ago

bag, Cheeto, cheetos, crun, exercise, fitness, humor, irony, self-deprecation, snack, still, today
One thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m dumb.

0

2 months ago

arrogance, deception, dishonesty, dumb, frustration, hate, i, insult, liar, sarcasm, thing, trust
Just saw someone my age running and she wasn’t chasing an ice-cream truck.

0

2 months ago

activity, age, chasing, fitness, humor, ice cream, just, running, someone, truck
Hate when I get halfway there and have to go back for my teeth.

0

2 months ago

back, care, dental, dental care, forgetfulness, halfway, hate, humor, i, teeth
Plot Twist: Your taxes cheated on you.

0

2 months ago

cheat, humor, plot, plot twist, ta, tax, twist

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on TikTok this month:

Don’t blame the alcohol. You were an idiot before you started drinking.

69 shares on YouTube this month:

The money I made gradually, you need urgently?

60 shares on Discord this month:

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they’re the ones who can sign you into a home.

52 shares on Reddit this month:

Be the lemon you want the world to hand to others.

25 shares on X this month:

My youngest had a mandatory drugs and alcohol lecture today at school, and he still can’t mix a proper drink.

38 shares on Facebook this month:

I say things I don’t mean on spicy chicken.

20 shares on Pinterest this month:

Flirting back when you’re bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

44 shares on Messenger this month:

Not commenting on your girl’s stuff is weird. I want my man barking in my comments.

72 shares on WeChat this month:

I’ve found that the easiest way to do burpees is to just not do burpees. No pain, no pain.

58 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I be having full arguments in my head, then walk around mad like someone actually said something to me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Dear Black Friday… We all have big TVs now, put the groceries on sale.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

I woke up deciding to incorporate the parkour lifestyle into my daily life then reconsidered as I fell over again putting my jeans on.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

I set my alarms extra early to make sure I have enough time to lay in bed and be angry about having to wake up.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

It’s crazy that you don’t really argue with a baby for the first year of its life and then you have to argue with the baby every day.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Group projects in school weren’t meant to teach you teamwork, they were meant to teach you how to deal with the incompetence of your coworkers in the workplace.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

If you’re a guy and you’re struggling right now, just remember nobody cares, and it does get worse.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

No matter how small you make that “unsubscribe” link, I’ll still find it.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

I’m an optimist and i understand how annoying that is.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

If you’re not dropping it like it’s hot, then what the hell are you doing?

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

Many people love saying, “Get these away from me,” after eating a few chips.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Why the hell did they name them ‘Soldier ants’ and not ‘Combatants’?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Self-checkout is amazing for introverts until the machine breaks and two employees have to come fix it while you wait.

Seen just now on X:

The problem with leading by example is that no one pays attention.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Sunrises are really beautiful, but the timing is rather bad.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I wish there were an option to turn off the Wi-Fi connection for WhatsApp only.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Not to be a nerd, but a well-placed semicolon is hot as hell.

Spotted on Instagram:

I woke up alive again.

Breaking via Threads:

Standing on a scale and thinking: so much wisdom and inner beauty can’t be light.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Life is just a series of obstacles preventing you from reading your book.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Are you mad at me? Have you been mad at me? Will you be mad at me? When will you be mad at me?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Why is it called “free time” when I use it to spend all my money?

Did 900 crunches today. It was a bag of Cheetos, but still.

One thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m dumb.

Just saw someone my age running and she wasn’t chasing an ice-cream truck.

Hate when I get halfway there and have to go back for my teeth.

Plot Twist: Your taxes cheated on you.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨