Beer is Narcan for when you overdose on Microsoft Teams.

37 shares on Reddit this month:

Nothing more rude than taking a photo of yourself and it looking like how you actually look, and not how you look inside your head.

68 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sometimes I think the subway rat is doing better than me. He has a routine, a social circle, and knows where to find the best pizza.

15 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Self-checkout is amazing for introverts until the machine breaks and two employees have to come fix it while you wait.

86 shares on Messenger this month:

Windmill? Big fan.

93 shares on Instagram this month:

I’ve just found my wide pants again. They weren’t gone at all, they’re just my tight pants now.

82 shares on Telegram this month:

What’s said in the blanket fort, stays in the blanket fort.

17 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m always a little mean to men because, if you treat them like humans, they think you wanna sleep with them.

81 shares on Messenger this month:

Phone so dry, I caught myself checking the weather.

26 shares on WeChat this month:

Socks try to be monogamous, but most end up either single or having multiple different partners.

100 shares on Facebook this month:

They lie on the job descriptions, so lie on your resume.