Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

We used to pass notes in class like spies. Folded like origami. Deep like Shakespeare.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

I have the sex drive of a potato.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Our pronunciation of the word “colonel” does feel like group psychosis.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Nothing has paid off less than learning to do the Macarena.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

The word “misread” can be misread as “misread.”

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

My kids wanted a spooky story from the olden days so I told them the internet used to scream when you turned it on.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Sarah Connor would be awfully disappointed in us all, letting this Grok into our lives.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Why the hell did they name them ‘Soldier ants’ and not ‘Combatants’?

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

I made some bad choices in life, but I never bought a pair of Crocs.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

“There are no words in the English language that have all the vowels in alphabetical order,” he said facetiously.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,363

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Reddit:

Death cannot harm me more than you have harmed me, my beloved life.

Spotted on Instagram:

Discord is only good for calling friends on the computer. Please do not waste your time getting caught up in random servers.

Live now on Messenger:

My superpower is to wake up more tired than I was when I fell asleep.

Just shared via YouTube:

Getting the ick because he put the windshield wipers on at a higher rate than was needed.

Trending via WeChat:

Technology has really helped me waste my time efficiently.

Just shared via Discord:

I don’t know much, but I do know melancholia is a way cooler diagnosis than depression.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I don’t need therapy, I need a bagel with cream cheese.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I don’t always carry all the groceries on one arm, but when I do, my keys are in the wrong pocket.

Making waves on Messenger:

Sometimes your ankle takes a vacation while you’re walking.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

This place was really tidy yesterday. It’s a shame you missed it.

Beer is Narcan for when you overdose on Microsoft Teams.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like it's time for a "CTRL + Alt + Del" from all those virtual meetings 🍻😂🎧

alcohol, beer, humor, meeting, microsoft, Microsoft Teams, Narcan, overdose, recovery, Teams, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Missed garbage day today, if you’re looking for a bad boy that doesn’t play by the rules.

0

2 months ago

bad, bad boy, boy, day, garbage, garbage day, humor, looking, management, mischief, missed, play, rebellious, rules, today, waste, waste management
I’m sick of getting woken up at 6am by the bin men. I just want a nice sleep but they always insist that I get out of the bin before they collect it.

0

2 months ago

6am, always, annoyance, before, bin, bin man, collection, funny situation, garbage, getting, humor, i, just, man, men, morning, nice, sarcasm, sick, situation, sleep, waking, waking up, want
Most insane people live outside of madhouses.

0

2 months ago

humor, insane, live, madhouses, outside, people, perspective, reality
I thought being an adult meant cake for breakfast, not budgeting for therapy.

0

5 months ago

adult, adulting, being, breakfast, budgeting, cake, health, humor, i, irony, meant, mental, mental health, therapy, thought
One day I’ll do amazing things. Today I’ll be satisfied if I don’t spill food on my lap.

0

2 months ago

amazing, amazing thing, day, everyday, everyday life, expectation, food, goal, humor, lap, life, relatability, satisfaction, struggle, thing
Just saw my evil doppelganger speed away in a DeLorean. I’m sure it’s fine.

0

2 months ago

away, car, DeLorean, doppelganger, evil, fine, humor, joke, just, speed, sure, time, time travel, travel

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on Reddit this month:

Santa doesn’t check the naughty list anymore, he just checks social media.

14 shares on Messenger this month:

Feeling morally and spiritually adrift without a Sunday HBO show.

80 shares on TikTok this month:

Yoda, seeing himself in 4K: HDMI

63 shares on LinkedIn this month:

One or the other, Lord – I can’t be broke and heartbroken.

23 shares on YouTube this month:

“I’ve never done parkour, but I have chased a toddler with an open Sharpie through the house.”

22 shares on Slack this month:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $1 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst anniversary gifts ever.

15 shares on TikTok this month:

Someone asked, “Can I bum a scroll?” because they deleted Instagram off their phone.

69 shares on YouTube this month:

The first thing you need to know about social media is that everyone’s on vacation, except for you.

81 shares on Facebook this month:

Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.

97 shares on Facebook this month:

Imagine you blocked me, and I crawled out from under your couch to ask why.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

My dad thought Siri would be more helpful finding a lemon ricotta recipe if he used an Italian accent.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Even worse than a spider is a spider that just disappeared.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

We should be able take jets and tanks and stuff whenever we want, we paid for them.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Everyone’s worried about a recession, but babes, we’re heading for a dark age.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Me (seductively looking at a potato): would mash.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Letting the sun have its way with my freckles today.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Married life: Telling your partner the same sentence 7 days in a row, only for him to say, “You definitely never told me that!”

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

If I walk into a girl’s house and she got like 50 plants, I know she’s a keeper because she already takes care of a bunch of useless things. What’s one more?

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

The state of my house can best be described as “there seems to have been a struggle”.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

You know you’re getting old when you and the grocery store have the same playlist.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

The way my phone’s facial recognition pretends not to recognize me, you’d think I dated it.

Spotted on Facebook:

People drive you insane and then say “see, I told you that you’re insane.”

Going viral on TikTok:

If you haven’t tried blindfold archery, you should give it a go. You don’t know what you’re missing.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Accidentally blurted out “skip intro” when my mother-in-law wasn’t getting to the point.

Just shared via X:

I don’t understand how spending more money than I earn is irresponsible. I’m giving more than I take. I’m generous.

Making waves on Snapchat:

If a portal opened up in front of me, I’d go in—no questions asked.

Going viral on TikTok:

No dating apps this year. Just going to walk around and smile at people and send an occasional unhinged DM.

Just shared via Threads:

I named my wifi “The Promised LAN” because it always connects, but occasionally leaves you wandering in the desert looking for a better signal.

Just landed via WeChat:

My OnlyFans is just hours of me untangling Christmas lights.

Trending via Messenger:

Here I am, block me like a hurricane.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Beer is Narcan for when you overdose on Microsoft Teams.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Missed garbage day today, if you’re looking for a bad boy that doesn’t play by the rules.

I’m sick of getting woken up at 6am by the bin men. I just want a nice sleep but they always insist that I get out of the bin before they collect it.

Most insane people live outside of madhouses.

I thought being an adult meant cake for breakfast, not budgeting for therapy.

One day I’ll do amazing things. Today I’ll be satisfied if I don’t spill food on my lap.

Just saw my evil doppelganger speed away in a DeLorean. I’m sure it’s fine.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨