Funny Meeting Quotes That Will Have You Laughing Through the Agenda! 📅😂

Meeting Beyoncé and telling her I loved her in Goldmember and mentioning nothing about her music career, just to see if it throws her off.

3 months ago3 months ago

My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

3 months ago3 months ago

Make it a habit to cry and act unhinged at meetings so you’re never invited back.

3 months ago3 months ago

This meeting could have been a pajama party.

3 months ago3 months ago

My acting reel includes clips of me “listening” during Zoom meetings.

3 months ago3 months ago

Gonna mess with my husband by texting “send nudes” when he’s in a work meeting.

3 months ago3 months ago

The most realistic scene in Star Wars was when Darth Vader lost his cool during a staff meeting and used the force to choke a coworker.

3 months ago3 months ago

This meeting could have been a cake.

3 months ago3 months ago

Saying “sounds good to me” in a meeting then quickly realizing a lot more was expected from you.

4 months ago3 months ago

Told a couple of jokes at a Zoom meeting. Turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

4 months ago3 months ago

Instead of meeting any new people, I would much rather un-meet the ones I already know.

4 months ago3 months ago

Actually, this email could’ve been a meeting. We could’ve spent an hour on the clock talking shit and gossiping. Someone could’ve brought bagels.

4 months ago3 months ago

If you occasionally blow on your bourbon during a Zoom meeting, the other folks will think you’re enjoying a hot cup of tea.

5 months ago3 months ago

I need a button in Zoom meetings where it just freezes my screen and makes it look like I’m having network issues.

6 months ago3 months ago

Sure, my internet service is overpriced and spotty but you can’t put a price on unintentionally being dropped from every Zoom meeting.

6 months ago3 months ago

The meeting of the Anonymous Pessimists was canceled. It wouldn’t have helped anyway.

6 months ago3 months ago

Apparently there is a bird fight club who holds their meetings outside my window at about 5am.

May 30, 20243 months ago

Turns out that ending meetings with “have the day you deserve” has made me some enemies at work.

May 16, 20243 months ago

Dating is the process of meeting someone until you find out what’s wrong with them.

May 14, 20243 months ago

Most meetings end with the conclusion that everything needs to be discussed in another meeting.

Nov 9, 2023Nov 9, 2023

After an hour on this team meeting I’m not wanting to be a team player anymore.

Sep 29, 2023Sep 29, 2023

The night is dark and full of terrors. My day is long and full of meetings. Same thing.

Sep 29, 2023Sep 29, 2023

Start every meeting with, “Let’s just agree to disagree.”

Sep 29, 2023Sep 29, 2023

Work meetings would be a lot more fun if they took place in a giant IKEA ball pit.

Sep 25, 2023Sep 29, 2023

I found my first grey pubic hair today, but I didn’t freak out; unlike everyone else in the Zoom meeting.

Sep 22, 20233 months ago

If my coworker doesn’t stop asking questions on this Zoom meeting, I will drive across town and slap his face on the call.

Sep 22, 20233 months ago