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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

It’s called a “sports car” because getting out of one after 40 is a physical event.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

I’m begging for a day to be added in between Saturday and Sunday.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Auto-correct and I are in a toxic relationship.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Men make it so easy to hate them.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Old people get so mad when you’re young and tired.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Replying to all emails with “ya think?”.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Pleasing everyone, that’s impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake!

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Polar bears drinking Coca Cola is my favorite holiday vibe.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Before I start seeing a psychiatrist, does anyone like me crazy?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Who else here can say that they have NEVER watched any of the Kardashian shows?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

6 hours ago

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

I’m so thankful I live on the planet that has pizza.

Spotted on WeChat:

Did you know on the Canary Islands there is not one canary? And on the Virgin Isles? Same thing – not one canary there either!

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Dog barking like an angry baby, baby crying like an angry dog.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I can do a lot of things, but listening to someone chew is not one of them.

Going viral on Threads:

Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute.

Just landed via Reddit:

My body looks like I have a great personality.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Wow, this was a really long day of playing on my phone.

Breaking via Messenger:

No thank you, I only like men who have no interest in me.

Reported on Reddit:

Folks, please have more respect for people with glasses. Because they pay money to see you.

Trending via Messenger:

I got 99 problems and money could solve at least 69 of them.

Being held for questioning sounds more romantic than it is.

6 months ago

Being held for questioning sounds more romantic than it is.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the allure of being "held for questioning" – a phrase that sounds like the opening scene of a thrilling spy movie 🕵️‍♂️, but in reality, it's more paperwork and less James Bond glamour. Remember, even in the world of crime dramas, there's no champagne and caviar during questioning, just a lot of uncomfortable chairs and fluorescent lighting. #DebunkingDetectiveDrama 💼🔦

being, humor, irony, police, questioning, relationship, romance, romantic

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

6 hours ago

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

In medieval Europe, it was pretty easy to amass vast armies eager to go into battle and have their heads chopped off because no one wanted to be alive in medieval Europe.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Every app is a dating app if you are creepy enough.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

The difference between coffee and your opinion is that I asked for coffee.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Some people are like clouds. When they go away it’s much better.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Another fine day ruined by responsibilities.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Of course women need more pockets, where are we supposed to hold all of our grudges?

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Honestly, I don’t even play an active role in my life any more. Things just happen and I’m like “I guess this is what we’re doing now.”

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Parents be like “why aren’t you eating, don’t you like my food?” and after you eat a ton, they’ll say “you look a little chubby, maybe you should eat less.”

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

If I could go back in time, I’d probably stop Bruce Willis from saving us from that asteroid.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Someone taking your parking space at your own home is a different type of anger.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

Don’t talk to me about regrets if you’ve never had someone’s name tattooed on you.

Reported on Discord:

Life is short, flirt with me!

Live now on Discord:

Using a condom and still pulling out, call that two-factor authentication.

Going viral on TikTok:

Before Google, if you didn’t know something you had to go ask someone and most of the time they couldn’t help you, and now that’s also how Google works.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

There’s never a good place to clip your toenails at the library.

Seen just now on Discord:

I wish that reading books in the park were my job, and I got paid six figures for it.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I will selflessly protect my family from a life of diabetes by eating all the sweets myself.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

People who don’t have a dishwasher, where do they bang their shins?

Spotted on Threads:

There should be a Jaws sequel where the shark finally gets arrested for his crimes and goes to jail.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

My therapist says I’m preoccupied with revenge. She’s going to regret that.

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