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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

If an ice cream truck has its music on, are you supposed to pull over and let it pass like an ambulance?

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Do you mind if I wear my black T-shirt covered in pet hair to your fine dining establishment?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

My problem with Christmas shopping is that I keep seeing things that I like… for me.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

The final stage of being single is when you listen to a love song and no one comes to mind; at that point, you’ve achieved absolute singularity.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40s. Your eyes are now like a camera someone doesn’t know how to focus.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Friendly reminder to drink your water and mind your business this week.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Just because I’m friendly doesn’t mean I like you. It just means that I’m not rude.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,815

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

You don’t do laundry once a week. You do it constantly, endlessly, forever—until you die.

Going viral on Slack:

Don’t invite me anywhere in the last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

Just landed via Twitch:

Twitter is great because you can tweet “hi” and someone will tell you you’re wrong.

Spotted on Messenger:

You look like you take lavender bubble baths with rose petals, surrounded by candles, bro.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

First date idea: I lean in close and surprise you with a wet willy.

Going bananas on Threads:

Three words no parent ever wants to hear when dropping their kid at a play date: “Come on in.”

Call me Frankenstein the way I’m piecing it together.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
Stitching my life together one coffee at a time! ☕️🧵✨

analogy, call, creativity, frankenstein, humor, me, monster, patchwork, piecing, piecing together, together

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My friend thinks he’s smart. He said onions are the only food that makes him cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

2 months ago
coconut, cry, face, food, friend, humor, i, joke, laughter, onions, smart
Therapy isn’t gonna cut it, I need vengeance.

5 months ago
cut, health, humor, i, mental, mental health, need, revenge, therapy, vengeance
Police officer: please step out of your vehicle. Me: after this song, hold on.

1 month ago
after, distraction, hold, humor, me, officer, police, response, situation, song, step, vehicle
If you’ve never been hit with gay allegations, you’re not fly enough.

4 weeks ago
allegation, allegations, attitude, confidence, enough, fly, gay, gay allegation, hit, humor, identity, joke, never
I downloaded a meditation app. Now I’m stressed about missing sessions.

1 month ago
anxiety, app, health, humor, i, irony, meditation, mental, mental health, mindfulness, missing, session, stress, technology
Onesies are amazing till you have to really pee in the middle of the night then you question all your life’s decisions.

1 month ago
amazing, clothing, comfort, decision, humor, life, life decision, night, onesy, pee, practicality, question, sleepwear, struggle

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

“There are lots of benefits to working here. We have fun social events and activities after work!” And what are the benefits?

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Me, on New Year’s Eve: I think instead of kissing at midnight, I’m just going to go outside and scream.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

The only things that are really cool in my company are my salary and me.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

I don’t want to brag or anything, but I can still fit in the earrings I wore in high school.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

What, and I cannot stress this enough, day is it.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Kinda miss when crushes were butterflies instead of complex emotional calculations about compatibility and red flags.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on TikTok:

I think my type is a nice person.

Going viral on Instagram:

Mixing 1% milk and 2% milk to create the forbidden 1.72% milk.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

My life coach traded me.

Just landed via X:

When you’re young, weekends are for fun. When you’re older, they’re for recovery.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Yesterday, thieves broke into my home. They searched everywhere and found nothing. They beat me up, telling me to work harder.

Just landed via Discord:

I lied, there’s no sex. I just need you to change the batteries in my smoke detectors.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Call me Frankenstein the way I’m piecing it together.

My friend thinks he’s smart. He said onions are the only food that makes him cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

Therapy isn’t gonna cut it, I need vengeance.

Police officer: please step out of your vehicle. Me: after this song, hold on.

If you’ve never been hit with gay allegations, you’re not fly enough.

I downloaded a meditation app. Now I’m stressed about missing sessions.

Onesies are amazing till you have to really pee in the middle of the night then you question all your life’s decisions.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Bacon should be free for anyone having a bad day.

I hate small cars that disguise themselves as free parking spaces and drop their masks as soon as you pull up in front of them.

Whoever came up with the name wallpaper really nailed it.

Just because I’m smiling doesn’t mean I like you, I might be picturing you on fire.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Adulting: unlocking life’s mysteries, one therapy session at a time.

“Nothing burger” is such a funny phrase. Americans when nothing: so imagine a burger.

Age range on my dating app set to 40+. Y’all fighting over grapes while I’m drinking wine.

We seriously need to bring back courting. What the hell is ‘wyd tonight?’ Arrive on a horse and bring flowers like a man.

(Flirting) What’s every single thing you’ve ever thought?

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Half princess, half menace.

Some days you are the table and some days you are the toe.

I would prefer not to.

I put the mess in domestic.

If you buy something with a lifetime warranty and it breaks, the manufacturer will send a hitman to your house.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

You’re all using your crystals wrong. Put them in a sock and start swinging.

Whatever doesn’t kill you is probably still trying.

I call my period Shark week. I want to eat everything, I’m snapping at people, I feel huge, people are scared of me, and there is blood everywhere.

To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

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Call me Frankenstein the way I’m piecing it together.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My friend thinks he’s smart. He said onions are the only food that makes him cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

Therapy isn’t gonna cut it, I need vengeance.

Police officer: please step out of your vehicle. Me: after this song, hold on.

If you’ve never been hit with gay allegations, you’re not fly enough.

I downloaded a meditation app. Now I’m stressed about missing sessions.

Onesies are amazing till you have to really pee in the middle of the night then you question all your life’s decisions.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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