75 funny together quotes - Wordgag

Call me Frankenstein the way I’m piecing it together.

May 20, 2026

Nobody plays better together than siblings being told it’s bedtime.

May 20, 2026

Deeply unfair of people to assume I have my life together just because I’m boring.

May 20, 2026

I don’t mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.

May 20, 2026

Does anyone want to fall in love and split rent with me?

May 19, 2026

Gonna eat birthday cake all day because it’s someone’s birthday out there, and we’re about to celebrate together, stranger.

May 19, 2026

Moms be like, “I needed this,” and it’s really just a break from being the one who holds it all together every single day.

May 19, 2026

My husband told me that he used my sock trick on a recent trip, so he wouldn’t lose any. Reader, my “sock trick” is rolling matching pairs together.

May 19, 2026

I caught my husband eating the last of the ice cream last night. First of all, we are supposed to be dieting together. Second of all, I was going to eat that.

May 19, 2026

The people who upload old movies to the internet are holding society together.

May 19, 2026

Best friends should be able to apply to jobs together and get hired as a set.

May 19, 2026

Grown men carpooling to the strip club so they can get boners and drive home together.

May 18, 2026

How do couples who live together get anything done? I wouldn’t leave my bed if my girlfriend was in it.

Apr 1, 2026

White elephant: Nothing brings people together like fighting over absolute garbage.

Apr 1, 2026

Just got chills imagining what Tom and Jerry could accomplish if they just worked together for once.

Apr 1, 2026

That masculine urge to completely avoid relationships until you get your life together.

Apr 1, 2026

Every Friday, I’m like, “This weekend I’m getting my life together,” and then… I don’t.

Apr 1, 2026

I’ve been so stressed about getting my shit together that I haven’t gotten any of my shit together.

Mar 31, 2026

There are approximately 1,010,300 words in the English language, but I could never string enough words together to properly express how much I want to hit you with a chair.

Mar 31, 2026

The shrooms told me that we need to get our shit together. That humanity is a bundle of bad habits. I’m headed back in a few weeks, and they need a response from us. What do I tell them?

Mar 31, 2026

Not everyone realizes this, but if you clean the pile of receipts out of a purse and stack them together, it makes a teeny tiny book about why you’re broke.

Mar 31, 2026

You are depressed because your ancestors fought, danced, and ate meals together, and you eat alone in the dark while staring at a glowing rectangle.

Mar 31, 2026

A marriage is about solving problems together, you know, those problems you wouldn’t have if you were single.

Mar 31, 2026

First date idea: we search for each other’s criminal history together.

Mar 31, 2026

People out here living double lives, and I’m barely even holding a single life together.

Mar 31, 2026

Putting together a piece of furniture today, so my kids are about to learn swear words that haven’t even been invented yet.

Mar 31, 2026

When the Beatles say, “Come together, right now, over me,” what was that about? Why did they say that?

Mar 31, 2026

I need to get my shit together, but at this point, I’m waiting to see if the world is going to end before I put any real effort in.

Mar 31, 2026

Together, I can beat schizophrenia.

Mar 31, 2026

I love befriending yappers. They bring the yapping out of me. Then we yap together. Yapping is so much fun.

Mar 31, 2026

Welcome to your 40s, you’re too old to sit on the floor and put furniture together.

Mar 31, 2026

I might look like I have my life together, but that’s only because the mess is out of the camera frame.

Mar 30, 2026

Hey, sorry I can’t go out tonight. I already showered and got into bed, and now I’m busy rubbing my feet together like a little grasshopper.

Mar 30, 2026

My morning coffee makes me feel like I’ve got my shit together. I don’t, but it makes me feel like I do.

Mar 30, 2026

Let’s lay on the couch together, play on our phones, and ignore each other, babe.

Mar 30, 2026

Can’t, I’m pulling it together.

Mar 29, 2026

Bluesky honestly feels like a miracle where you take the most annoying people in the world and stick them in a broken elevator together.

Mar 29, 2026

Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.

Mar 29, 2026

If we’re walking together, just know I’ll definitely bump into you because I can’t walk in a straight line.

Mar 29, 2026

Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.

Mar 29, 2026