Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

A good hack to make my house look clean and tidy in the evening is to turn all the lights off.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

“Don’t judge a book by its cover” is a beautiful, powerful sentiment that I fully ignore when book shopping.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

The feminine urge to be the most feared witch in the village.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, tomorrow is Christmas.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Used dark mode so much that I became physically repulsed when I see a white screen.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Would have started saving money in kindergarten if I knew my life was like this.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

I took my kids to the zoo when they were small, I wonder how they are getting on now.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Being the introverted hopeless romantic with a high sex drive is a curse.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

I found a box of VHS tapes. I’m a bit nervous about the one that has the label torn off.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,680

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on LinkedIn:

They’re making me do work at work.

Just shared via Slack:

Sorry, I’m poor, I can’t afford to pay attention.

Seen just now on Threads:

I miss my kids the most when they go to bed and the mosquitoes go after me because they have no other options.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Your coworkers are your friends; stop working and hang out.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Does the HDMI cord have the most dominant run of any cord ever?

Just shared via Telegram:

“Are you sexually active?” Dude, I’m not even socially active.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Sometimes I want to go back in time and punch myself in the face.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Some 100 private jets will fly to Venice for Jeff Bezos’ wedding, and I recycle yoghurt cup lids.

Dear autocorrect, that’s not what I was trying to say. I’m getting tired of your shirt.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Autocorrect, are you feeling a bit too formal lately? It's 'shoot', not 'shirt'! Time to freshen up your wardrobe of words! 👔💬😂"

autocorrect, communication, frustration, getting, humor, i, shirt, technology, tired, trying

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You ever feel awkward in Target, cause you know you belong at Walmart.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkwardness, cause, comparison, ever, feel, humor, know, retail, shopping, situation, social, social situation, store, store comparison, Target, Walmart
Daylight savings is just a made up holiday to sell more daylight.

0

2 months ago

daylight, daylight saving, holiday, just, made-up, saving, savings, sell
Your first non-broke girlfriend will change your whole perspective about relationships.

0

2 months ago

change, dating, girlfriend, money, perspective, relationship, relationships, whole
I just really hope The Weeknd’s real name isn’t Mnday.

0

2 months ago

celebrity, hope, humor, i, joke, just, music, name, real, The Weeknd, Weeknd, wordplay
I could tell my beard needed a trim when I started seeing some of the pictures my kids were drawing of me.

0

2 months ago

beard, drawing, humor, i, kids, me, parenting, pictures, seeing, self-awareness, tell, trim
Smithereens is the worst way to get blown.

0

4 days ago

blown, humor, smithereens, wordplay, worst

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on TikTok this month:

When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

92 shares on WeChat this month:

Beer is Narcan for when you overdose on Microsoft Teams.

86 shares on YouTube this month:

Not now, babe, it’s my nightly phone enrichment time.

93 shares on WeChat this month:

If you want to make your mother proud, make her my mother-in-law.

79 shares on TikTok this month:

Being a dinosaur sounds kinda nice. No bills, no work, just extinct.

55 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m not procrastinating. I’m protecting my peace through active avoidance.

77 shares on Pinterest this month:

Every time your mom tells you that she wants the best for you, she is talking about me.

50 shares on X this month:

I won $6 on a scratch-off last night. Out of my way, peasants!

19 shares on Pinterest this month:

If paying a cashier a living wage will make prices go up, why doesn’t replacing cashiers with self-checkouts make prices go down?

56 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m dying for some sweets and the only thing sweet in the house is me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

If you want to hang out with me, all you have to do is ask, and I’ll say no.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

My favorite part of parenting is when the kids are bored enough to entertain themselves, but getting to that point is excruciating.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Don’t worry, guys. Together we can eliminate logic and reason on social media. I see some of you are already ahead of the game. Way to go!

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Common sense is so rare these days that it should be considered a superpower.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Nobody has ever been given a cheeseburger and been upset about it.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Remember when a series of unfortunate events was a book and not your life?

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at social gatherings.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

That sound when you close the cupboard and hear something fall inside, that’s the sound of somebody else’s problem.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Traumatized people will navigate emergency situations with calm surety but then have an anxiety attack in a grocery store.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

I poked your tweet with a stick, hoping it would do something.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

I tried to scream into the abyss today but got a busy signal.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

What age will I grow out of not answering the door when I’m home and sneaking around the house to find out who’s knocking?

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

The sexual tension between me and buying more books.

Seen just now on Discord:

They should let me go inside everyones house just to see.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I can’t believe I slept good all night. What a rush.

Just landed via WeChat:

People said follow your dreams, so I went back to bed.

Live now on Twitch:

I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

Going bananas on TikTok:

If you encounter a teenager out in the wild, be kind. They are the first generation of kids whose parents are cooler than they are.

Just shared via WeChat:

I sometimes have the desire to meet certain people again for the first time. Only to simply walk past them.

Trending via WeChat:

They should invent a job that actually wants to hire you after you apply.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Dear autocorrect, that’s not what I was trying to say. I’m getting tired of your shirt.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

You ever feel awkward in Target, cause you know you belong at Walmart.

Daylight savings is just a made up holiday to sell more daylight.

Your first non-broke girlfriend will change your whole perspective about relationships.

I just really hope The Weeknd’s real name isn’t Mnday.

I could tell my beard needed a trim when I started seeing some of the pictures my kids were drawing of me.

Smithereens is the worst way to get blown.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨