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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

I’m awake and working. Please respect my privacy during these trying and emotional times.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

My rapper name would be 2 stressd.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Totally unrealistic movie title: “The Postman Always Rings Twice”. We all know that these guys only ring once and then leave.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

I really wish people would stop thinking they need to speak to me in the mornings.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Part of fatherhood is becoming an expert in some obscure topic and teaching it to your children who stopped listening 30 minutes ago.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Me at war: You guys mind if I leave a bit early today?

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

I wear sunglasses when I’m driving so nobody knows I’m asleep.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Yesterday, thieves broke into my home. They searched everywhere and found nothing. They beat me up, telling me to work harder.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

My cat is so finicky. I finally gave up and taught him how to order Uber Eats for himself.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Good morning, townsfolk. I’m here to slay the monsters.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,288

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

When phones were tied with wires, people were free. Now that phones are wireless, people are tied.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a vacation… while still on vacation.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I’ve reached a point in my life where if I can’t find parking, I’m just going to go home.

Breaking via Discord:

My phone screen is brighter than my future.

Trending via Snapchat:

Porn is free, so why are you in my DMs?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

There are days when trying to control your class is like trying to hug a tornado.

Spotted on Reddit:

Can’t. Calling out some bullshitters on some bullshit.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Moms will vacuum the ceiling, alphabetize the spice rack, reorganize your socks, then say, “No one helps me around here!”

Going viral on Pinterest:

It’s okay to embarrass yourself a little in the pursuit of human connection.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

They should invent a DoorDash but for a kiss goodnight and getting tucked in.

Do men know they don’t have to keep their clothing until it disintegrates?

0
Do men know they don’t have to keep their clothing until it disintegrates?
Download image ↓

Commentary:
🤣 Oh, the eternal mystery of men and their attachment to clothing well past its expiration date! 👕🕰 Perhaps they're waiting for their wardrobe to evolve into a vintage collection without the hassle of actually investing in new pieces. 😜 After all, shabby chic is a look too, right? Time to embrace the disintegrating fashion trend, gentlemen! 💁‍♂️🤷‍♂️

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on YouTube this month:

Everyone who dramatically ‘quits’ social media is back in 48 hours like it was just a trial separation.

40 shares on Reddit this month:

Line dancing was created by women waiting to use the restroom.

23 shares on Instagram this month:

Unfortunately, I don’t think before I speak, so l am just a shocked as you are.

98 shares on YouTube this month:

Ever thought about centaurs and how the bottom half would start walking immediately after birth but the top part would be baby-like and flop around for a while.

65 shares on Instagram this month:

If the number 666 is considered evil, then technically, 25.8069758 is the root of all evil.

77 shares on Slack this month:

Sometimes I’ll do a random act of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

56 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Boys say that girls are dramatic, but have you ever plucked a man’s eyebrow? They act like they’ve been shot.

17 shares on TikTok this month:

Sometimes a lover girl, sometimes a dinosaur.

46 shares on Slack this month:

Nature is fascinating. A dandelion makes it through concrete, while I get my head stuck in my sweater in the morning.

42 shares on WhatsApp this month:

GTA6 should have streams and wetlands so we can work to conserve and restore them.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a small lifestyle change that has an instantaneous, huge payoff.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

No matter how sad you are, there is some form of potato that can make it better.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Whispering to paramedic before I pass out: save me, but not enough that I have to go to work tomorrow.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

You should be allowed to leave work early if you miss your wife enough.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Your in his DMs, I’m on Etsy paying a witch to put a spell on him.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m the kind of crazy you weren’t warned about because no one knew this level existed.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I made some bad choices in life, but I never bought a pair of Crocs.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I had the determination of my wife, who’s still flipping through radio stations as we pull into our driveway.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Booked an escape room but just to get away from everyone. No plans of escaping.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

People need to understand the difference between want and need. Like, I want abs, but I need chocolate.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,363

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

The fact that I procrastinate and still get the job done is the reason I still procrastinate.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

I have everything you could possibly ever need in my purse, except for money.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

I should go to jail so I can focus on the gym.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

I’m so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-toe on top of it.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

The best part of Thanksgiving is being with family and friends, and a vast array of pies.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Everyone you know is fighting battles you don’t know about, except for my neighbor who just can not shut up about his battles.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Elsa froze her entire kingdom instead of dealing with her feelings. I respect that level of avoidance.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

I kinda want a boyfriend but then where will I put my purse when I drive?

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Sex is great, but have you ever had your alarm go off and then realize you don’t have to get up today?

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

People ask you, “are you crazy”, and then get scared when you answer, “yes”.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

If you don’t realize that you’re a werewolf, then you’re actually an unawarewolf.

Trending via Messenger:

I’m actually really fun once you get to know me (takes 3-4 years).

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

What base is it when he says, “I know you need it badly,” but he’s talking about sleep?

Spotted on Threads:

I like you because we hate the same people.

Shared recently on X:

Do you ever wish you could just walk away mid-conversation when you’re bored?

Shared recently on Threads:

Currently helping my nephew look for his M&M’s that I ate yesterday.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Anyone who deals with customers on a professional basis should be allowed to hand out one face slap per day.

Seen just now on X:

Establish dominance by eating a salad in front of your indoor plants.

Trending via YouTube:

I’m gonna be the first zoomer to start dropping the ‘two thousand’ when referring to the past. “Yeah, that was back in ‘17.”

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Probably the worst thing you can do when your wife gives you a disapproving look from across the room for being on your phone is finish typing this.

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