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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡«πŸ‡― has copied:

As a child, my family’s mealtime menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡¦ has bookmarked:

β€œWell, this is no good. How do I turn it off?” – The first primate to experience consciousness.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡± has copied:

If you get injured playing peekaboo, you end up in the ICU.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡§ has copied:

Not to be dramatic, but when I accidentally save a file twice and it adds that (1) at the end, it is the worst moment of my life.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡¨ has shared:

A good French onion soup will have you acting like a pervert.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡§ has shared:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk calmly to the lock. We all know that communication is the key.

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡Ί has bookmarked:

Asking the birds outside my window if they know any Metallica.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡« has downloaded:

I’m glad it’s not snowing. I can’t imagine shoveling snow in this heat.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡± has viewed:

I really don’t get enough praise for someone who doesn’t need validation from others.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡΄ has copied:

If you’re worried that you added too much cheese to the recipe, I am here to reassure you that you did not.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,627

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Just shared via Slack:

Know what goes good with beer? Another one.

Just shared via Reddit:

Just peed so much that a little laugh came out.

Seen just now on X:

When I like a woman, I start to gather gifts for her like a squirrel hoarding nuts.

Going viral on Messenger:

Your child learning to say mommy is when your life begins and ends.

Just shared via YouTube:

Every time you give someone the benefit, they deliver the doubt.

Breaking via WeChat:

The T in depression stands for the therapy places that are immediately available.

Seen just now on Threads:

I’m feeling sexy today. You’ve been warned.

Just shared via Messenger:

Microwaves have zero chill. We get it, time is up. Calm down.

Just shared via Reddit:

Non-alcoholic beer is like a vibrator without batteries: it fills you up nicely but without the buzz…

Trending via Snapchat:

I find that age is just a number, and the older you get, the number you get.

Do men know they don’t have to keep their clothing until it disintegrates?

0
Do men know they don’t have to keep their clothing until it disintegrates?
Download image ↓

Commentary:
🀣 Oh, the eternal mystery of men and their attachment to clothing well past its expiration date! πŸ‘•πŸ•° Perhaps they're waiting for their wardrobe to evolve into a vintage collection without the hassle of actually investing in new pieces. 😜 After all, shabby chic is a look too, right? Time to embrace the disintegrating fashion trend, gentlemen! πŸ’β€β™‚οΈπŸ€·β€β™‚οΈ

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on Reddit this month:

These days, you gotta have a job for the bills and another job for yourself.

62 shares on Slack this month:

Why do fruit flies be everywhere but at the supermarket? Ain’t that like their Golden Corral?

26 shares on Discord this month:

I was going to cause mischief tonight, but I climbed into my bed instead.

60 shares on WeChat this month:

I have money, then I don’t have money, it all happens so fast!

97 shares on Twitch this month:

That masculine urge to completely avoid relationships until you get your life together.

61 shares on Messenger this month:

God, please, for once in my life, let me get what I want.

76 shares on Slack this month:

People don’t have demonically glowing red eyes in photographs like they used to.

78 shares on Instagram this month:

But if i put my laundry away, the laundry chair will be out of a job.

100 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Calling someone a β€œtough cookie” is not a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

69 shares on Snapchat this month:

For someone with a dry phone, I’m on it way too much.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

23 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Isn’t it beautiful how ‘Bruh’ has stood the test of time all these years.

23 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Do you ever eat a properly salted meal and suddenly understand why the ancient Romans were willing to be paid in salt?

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

We can do things two ways. My way or the right way.

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Girl math is ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife.

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I will sit in the rain about this.

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I know it’s traditional to start work at 9, but I think we could lower that age to 8.

18 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Microsoft: Before you sign in, we need to send you a code. Also, Microsoft: OMG, was that you that requested a code? Also, Microsoft: OMG, someone just signed in to your account.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Once you find humor in any situation, you have nothing to fear.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Nobody is doing it like me because this is probably not the right way to do it.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,515

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡» has bookmarked:

Who needs dystopian fiction when you can watch the news?

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡― has downloaded:

Sorry, I liked your post one second after you posted it but in my defense, I’ve had my phone in my hand since 2012.

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡Ί has downloaded:

Once your parents move from “What time are you coming back” to “Are you coming back today,” you have won the war.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡² has shared:

Jury duty is a wild concept. Whenever the government wants, they can just be like “Call off work, bestie, we need you to solve a murder. Here’s fifteen dollars.”

Someone from πŸ‡ΆπŸ‡¦ has viewed:

Bored as hell. Anyone want to emotionally manipulate each other?

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡Ή has downloaded:

Remember when movies felt real, and foreheads could wrinkle.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡· has downloaded:

Screen time so high, I should send another risky message and then ignore my cell phone for three days.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡² has bookmarked:

The only hot singles in my area are in my wallet.

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡· has bookmarked:

My favourite animal is me when I have money.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡§ has downloaded:

The number of times I stand in a room, staring because I forgot why I walked in there, is embarrassingly high.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Live now on X:

Thanksgiving should be called Feaster.

Just shared via Threads:

Imagine falling in love with me then finding out I’m a slow walker.

Seen just now on X:

I don’t need therapy, I need a bagel with cream cheese.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Dating over 40 is like Hide and Seek but no one is looking for you.

Going viral on Telegram:

‘Blinded by the Light’ is really just a song about turning the bathroom light on in the middle of the night.

Trending via Snapchat:

Sometimes I just want a man to talk to me in the same voice he uses to talk to his dog.

Trending via Snapchat:

First date idea: you bring me coffee in bed, and we snuggle all morning.

Seen just now on Slack:

Don’t ring my doorbell unless you’re accompanied by a camera crew and holding balloons and a big check.

Trending via Reddit:

Me, with $33 left after paying bills: Let’s see how much a Land Rover costs.

Just shared via Instagram:

Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.

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