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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

I just need a little time to warm up to you, and then I’ll be super fun, I promise—1-2 years at most.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Wine drunk doesn’t even make itself known. You’re just relaxed, and then, all of a sudden, you feel sexier.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

At what age do people actually meet up to play bingo? I’m ready.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Sick and tired of these 30 mins weekends.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

They say “When you snooze, you lose”… I say “When you take a nappy, you are happy.”

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

I’m so tired of not being a multimillionaire.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

I drink so much coffee, people feel jittery when they see a picture of me.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

These aliens are taking forever.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Egg nog was invented in Germany back in 1816 when Baron von Heldebrandt reportedly said “Hey guys, let’s get this custard drunk!”

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Seems like being an asshole is a full-time job for some.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

11 minutes ago

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

Pets can’t talk but everyone loves them. This is not a coincidence.

Just landed via Twitch:

My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the theater.

Trending via Messenger:

Your twenties are for working towards a life you later won’t want.

Freshly posted on X:

Do you enjoy addiction, anxiety, and urinating? Then coffee may be the beverage for you.

Reported on Twitch:

Just rolled over for a cuddle.. forgot I’m single… fell off the bed.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I hate how l am a “I have an appointment at 4pm so I can’t do anything all day” type of person.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Applying lip balm when you know someone’s watching you is a power move.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I’ve noticed that when young people now talk about “old people”, they mean me.

Breaking via Messenger:

We should thank heaven for nipples. Without them boobs would be pointless.

Breaking via Facebook:

Are cassette tapes considered classical music yet?

Do men know they don’t have to keep their clothing until it disintegrates?

3 months ago

Do men know they don’t have to keep their clothing until it disintegrates?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🤣 Oh, the eternal mystery of men and their attachment to clothing well past its expiration date! 👕🕰 Perhaps they're waiting for their wardrobe to evolve into a vintage collection without the hassle of actually investing in new pieces. 😜 After all, shabby chic is a look too, right? Time to embrace the disintegrating fashion trend, gentlemen! 💁‍♂️🤷‍♂️

clothing, disintegrate, fashion, humor, keep, know, maintenance, men

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

11 minutes ago

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

If an ice cream truck has its music on, are you supposed to pull over and let it pass like an ambulance?

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Lord, they down here giving us bills every month after you already paid the price.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

My fondest childhood memory is being able to sleep through the entire night and waking up rested.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

I did the math and a second job would help me get out of debt as long as I start it twelve years ago.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

The sandwich I made for lunch didn’t even make it until 10am.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Oh right, like you’ve never let your kids stay lost in a corn maze just a little longer.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Called in, “I put the lime in the coconut and drank it all up.”

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

I avoid drama by being unpopular.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

My girlfriend wants us to try couples counseling and I said we should use my therapist because he already knows what’s wrong with her.

Spotted on Snapchat:

For a girl that loves sleep and hates stress, my career choice is questionable.

Freshly posted on Discord:

If you like someone, set them free. If they comeback, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.

Going viral on Discord:

Remember, if you start with, “It’s crazy to think…” you can say whatever you want.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

If a baby comes out feet first, technically it wears its mom as a hat.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Imagine hating me and im just at my desk spinning reeaaally fast in my office chair.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I can’t wait for my mom to come to my new house so she can tell me how I organized the kitchen wrong.

Spotted on Discord:

If a beer is 8 bucks, it’s a show. If a beer is 14 bucks, it’s a concert.

Trending via Reddit:

HR has told me to stop saying ‘How stupid can you be?’ to members of staff. They’re worried it’s being taken as a challenge.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Called in, “If we’re living in a simulation, just simulate that I’m in the office today.”

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