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Funny Quotes Data šŸ¤“

New funny quotes: 6 this month

15,831 funny quotes and pics

17,824 funny quotes topics

Updated: Jun 2, 2026

 

 

 

 

 

147 Funny keep quotes

Funny keep quotes šŸ¤£ā€”because who doesn’t need a little humor to keep going? Whether you’re trying to stave off the Monday blues or just need a chuckle to brighten your day, these quotes are here to remind you that laughter is indeed the best medicine šŸ˜„. Dive into a world where wisdom and wit collide, and keep those spirits high with a smile on your face! 🌟

Something very chic about crying while driving… have to keep it a little classy so you don’t crash… other drivers unaware a diva is down in the next lane over…

Posted onMay 30, 2026

Why make new mistakes when you can keep repeating the same old familiar ones.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

Eating the rest of the donuts will keep me from eating donuts tomorrow. My logic is flawless.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

People moaning and making noise over food makes me so livid I can’t keep it in.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

I may not be the smartest or most athletic man in the world. There’s no second part to this, keep scrolling.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

Men who tell their woman she’s pretty, for no particular reason, keep that shit up.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

Unfortunately for everyone, I will keep doing whatever I want.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

I don’t argue with idiots on the Internet, I just keep scrolling and mind my own business.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

Throwing “whereupon” into a few work emails today to keep it fun.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

Gonna close my bank account and keep all my money on me, like Sonic the Hedgehog.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

Keep moving, lady, I don’t have room for you in my delusions right now.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

Anytime someone comments on my weight, I try to ignore them and keep my chins up.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

No, you don’t understand. This is my special mistake. I keep making it because it is very dear to me, like an old friend.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

I keep saying, “It is what it is,” but what even is it?

Posted onMay 29, 2026

ā€œYou’re crazy.ā€ God forbid I keep my family traits alive.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

You’re still ragebaiting? Everyone is on vagueposting now. Keep up.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

Been telling everyone, “It’s been a good year for horses.” No idea whether that’s true or not, but they keep nodding like it makes a lot of sense.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

Someone needs to make an app for a Tamagotchi that you keep alive by going offline.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

How much longer do we have to keep pretending that Pilates isn’t a sex thing?

Posted onMay 29, 2026

Phone dry, no food in the house, I keep dying in my game. I’m such a loser.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

I can’t keep up anymore. Happy birthday to everyone for the rest of your life.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

Bartender asked me to give his place a one-star Google review to keep the vibe lowkey. Insane method.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun to not be able to open that drawer.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

In an effort to keep our house clean before Thanksgiving, I’ve asked my family to go live somewhere else.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

Unfortunately, I am literally obsessed with the woman I am when I get stuff done, so I’m just going to keep doing that.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

Having a low-quality camera will definitely force you to keep your life private.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

It’s easy to keep me happy: feed me sunshine in summer — and keep me warm in winter.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Unfortunately for the haters, I will continue to keep being me.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

They say an apple a day keeps a doctor away. But what do I need to eat to keep everyone away?

Posted onMay 28, 2026

French is bullshit. They keep changing the translation of ‘soup du jour’ each day.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Libraries were a good start, but we really need to keep working on the number of places where people shouldn’t be allowed to talk.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

I’ve discovered that my visiting family members leave crumbs in the butter. Please keep me in your thoughts during this difficult time.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

If my neighbors keep fighting like this, I might need to cancel some of my streaming services.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

The only way three people can keep a secret is if two of them are dead.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

If you keep your AC any higher than 75, please don’t invite me to your terrarium, you lizard.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

I haven’t posted a selfie in a while, but I’m still very cute. Just to keep you updated.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

There are always new uncomplimentary angles to view yourself from. Keep contorting!

Posted onMay 27, 2026

If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself. No one likes a braggart.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

I feel like I’m in season 5 of my life, and the writers are just making ridiculous shit happen to keep it interesting.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

I can keep my mouth shut, but you can read the subtitles on my face.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

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