Commentary:
Guess I just quantum-leaped into another dimension where soap still wins the battle! 🛁🧼😅
614 Funny know quotes
Shout out to people who rate and review things, because I don’t like to rate or review things, but I like to know how things are rated and reviewed.
Commentary:
Big cheers to the unsung heroes of opinions! I get all the scoop minus the typing. 📣📝✨
Met a guy recently named Jonathan who goes by Nathan. I didn’t even know you could do that.
Commentary:
So if Jonathan can become Nathan, does that mean my diet can become a donut? 🍩🤔
I’m trying to be less condescending. I bet you don’t even know what that means.
Commentary:
Who knew being less condescending could be such an uphill struggle? It's like trying to explain quantum physics to my coffee machine. 🤔☕️
Just in case you don’t know, it’s “piqued” your interest, not “peaked”.
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Feeling "peaked" about this correction? Join the club—I thought it involved mountain climbing! 😂📚🏔️
I know Jesus was a carpenter, but I think he would’ve been a better plumber, you know, with the water thing.
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He’d definitely have the pipes singing hallelujah! 🚰😄🙏
Maybe Monday is more scared of us than we are of it… we don’t know.
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Running at Monday like it's a horror movie villain… plot twist: it trips as we scream and scatter! 🏃💨😱🍿
Please be nice to me. I’m in my twenties. Do you know what that does to a person?
Commentary:
Navigating my twenties like a potato trying to become fries — but still ending up as mashed! 🥔➡️🍟🤯
Every time I want to use a big word that I just know the meaning of, I Google it first, just in case.
Commentary:
"Trying to sound smart but secretly consulting my phone like it's the dictionary hotline 📞🤔😂"
You know when you tap a video to see how long it’s got left? I wish you could do that to people while they’re talking.
Commentary:
Why stop there? I'd love a fast forward button too! 😂⏩🔊