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345 Funny know quotes

New funny know quotes 👇

  • I love when my grandma texts me — because I know it took her an hour.

    Commentary:
    “Grandma’s texts are like rare artifacts — slow to arrive but worth the wait! 😂📱⏳”

  • I may not know what’s going on, but I also have no idea what’s happening.

    Commentary:
    😂🤣 “Story of my life: Always lost, but I’m having a great time being confused! 🔍🤷‍♂️”

  • I don’t even know what I’d do if a sailor called me a landlubber. I’d probably lose my cool.

    Commentary:
    “Guess I’d have to walk the plank of shame, Captain Calm is off-duty! ⚓️😅 #LandlubberLife”

  • If I were a bird, I know who I’d poop on.

    Commentary:
    “Channeling my inner ‘aimbird’ 🎯🦜… watch out below! 💩😆”

  • I miss when we didn’t know what celebrities thought about anything.

    Commentary:
    “I agree! I miss the good old days when the only mystery was how on earth they got their hair so perfect! 😂✨🤷‍♂️”

  • They should invent a life where I know what I’m doing.

    Commentary:
    “When I upgrade to that version of life, I’ll read the instructions! 📚🤔😂”

  • There needs to be a separate grocery store for people who actually know what they’re doing.

    Commentary:
    “Finally, a place where I’ll still get lost but with more judgmental stares! 🛒🙃 #CartConfused”

  • If you feel fat and sad just know it’s someone out there fatter than you.

    Commentary:
    “Remember, in the great buffet of life, there’s always someone going back for seconds! 🍔😂 #NotTheOnlySnackInThePack”

  • I’m not addicted to Twitter. I’m just a really good listener so I want to know what everyone has to say.

    Commentary:
    “Apparently, my superpower is knowing everyone’s shower thoughts! 🦸‍♂️🛀📱 #TweetWhisperer”

  • You know you’re getting old when you and the grocery store have the same playlist.

    Commentary:
    “Guess it’s time to face the music 🎶… and maybe pick up some kale while I’m at it! 🥬😂”

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