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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Seems like it would be really tough being a girl named Molly at a rave.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

You can always tell when a man is dating someone new. Why you going to the aquarium and the museum?

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Why there is always a kid crying when I go to the store? Dude, you aren’t the one paying for it. Stop!

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

No place in this world is as dark as my archived chats on WhatsApp.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

If kids these days had a perfume, it would be called Audacity.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Surely, this is the hangover that will teach me my lesson.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Toast doesn’t talk. How do you know it’s French?

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Seize the day! Unless it sucks. Then seize the next one.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

“The only thing standing between you and your dreams is you!” Yeah, have you met me? That’s gonna be a problem.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Went fishing and actually caught a fish. So now I gotta deal with this shit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

830 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,992

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,992

55 minutes ago

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Reddit:

I may not know what’s going on, but I also have no idea what’s happening.

Reported on Instagram:

I used to be so graceful, now I am like a puppy with a box stuck on her head.

Making waves on Reddit:

You’d seriously think I was wanted for murder by the way I react when someone knocks on the door.

Seen just now on Twitch:

First rule of cleaning while listening to music: the toilet brush is never the microphone. Never!

Spotted on Discord:

Can someone please fix the algorithm of my life?

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

If he doesn’t like your fruit puns, you need to let that mango.

Going viral on TikTok:

Nobody knows my next move. Not even me.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I like smoke and lightning, your honor, heavy metal thunder, racing with the wind. You know that feeling I am under.

Spotted on Facebook:

I have three kids. I should be terrified of sex.

Live now on Reddit:

Toothache and heartache comes from the same thing, which is something sweet.

Due to personal reasons, I’ve decided to become your problem.

5 months ago

Due to personal reasons, I’ve decided to become your problem.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🤷‍♂️ Well, well, well…looks like someone has chosen to upgrade their status from casual acquaintance to full-time nuisance! 🤣 Brace yourself, because now you've got your very own personal "problem child" to deal with. Hope you're ready for the ride! 🤪 #BuckleUp

decision, due, humor, personal, personal reason, problem, reason, reasons

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

830 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,992

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,992

55 minutes ago

3,421

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

If your drinking story doesn’t involve law enforcement, I’m not listening.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Being a social worker is crazy because those are literally my two least favorite things.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

If anyone wants to contact me, from now on I can only be reached via my bank account.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Police cars should play ice cream truck music when they’re pulling you over for something minor.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Terrifying if taken literally—if these walls could talk.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Could someone please come over here and be the adult? I’m too tired.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

My signature move is waving at someone who is waving at the person behind me.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

I’m officially at the age where I hate unnecessary noises and useless friends.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Slack:

“You don’t load the dishwasher right,” I said to my wife just before it permanently became my job.

Making waves on Messenger:

Not all people have bad neighbors. The ones next door have a great one.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

My diet was going really well until I woke up.

Making waves on Messenger:

It’s so important to warm up before any physical activity, like getting out of bed.

Shared recently on Discord:

My fight or flight response has frequent flyer miles.

Shared recently on Instagram:

No camera can do justice to a landscape that melts your heart.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I need something good to watch while I’m on my phone.

Making waves on Messenger:

Establish dominance over your cat by suddenly bolting out of the room for no reason.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

There are two types of people: Those who steal food off your plate and those who you keep in your life.

Reported on Instagram:

Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.

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