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New funny quotes: 6707 this month

15,818 funny quotes and pics

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Updated: May 23, 2026

 

 

 

 

29 Funny due quotes

Funny due quotes are the perfect way to laugh off deadlines and embrace the chaos of last-minute hustle ⏰😂 Whether you’re stressing over assignments or bills, these witty gems bring a smile and remind us that sometimes, procrastination just adds to the adventure 🕒🎉 Get ready to chuckle, relate, and maybe even rethink that “due” date!

If I was pregnant and people asked when I was due, I would say “What do you mean?”

Posted onMay 23, 2026

I am cool with January lasting forever because rent is due February 1.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Due to personal reasons, I won’t be dropping it like it’s hot anymore.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Due to personal reasons, I must make it in life.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Due to personal reasons, I’m evil now.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Due to inflation, you can now eat food that has been on the floor for up to 7.3 seconds.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Due to the humidity, my hair has chosen violence.

Posted onMay 18, 2026

Due to unforeskin circumcistances …

Posted onMay 18, 2026

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be getting stronger every day.

Posted onMay 18, 2026

Due to personal reasons, I will not be reincarnating on Earth again.

Posted onMay 18, 2026May 18, 2026

There are beautiful horny women (me) being forced into celibacy due to the utter lack of worthy men in existence. This is the world we are living in now.

Posted onApr 1, 2026

I just be minding my business, and next thing you know, a payment is due.

Posted onApr 1, 2026

My favorite game is to guess if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor position, or a brain tumor.

Posted onMar 31, 2026

If I say “with all due respect,” nothing respectful is about to come out of my mouth.

Posted onMar 31, 2026

Matcha. Dubai chocolate. Jealousy. Green is back in a big way, and likely due to deforestation.

Posted onMar 30, 2026

Due to unforeseen circumstances, I will be acting weird today.

Posted onMar 30, 2026

Due to inflation, alien abduction no longer comes with free probes. Humans are required to bring their own probes or may purchase a probe on board the spacecraft for a moderate fee.

Posted onMar 30, 2026

My favorite game is guessing if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor posture, or a brain tumor.

Posted onMar 29, 2026

If I ever say “with all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

Posted onMar 29, 2026

Due to inflation and tariffs, my love now costs a thing.

Posted onMar 29, 2026

My age no longer permits me to suffer for love, so if you see me sad, it’s due to lack of money.

Posted onMar 29, 2026

My brain logged me out due to inactivity, and I can’t remember the password.

Posted onMar 28, 2026

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be turning you into a poem.

Posted onMar 28, 2026

Due to personal reasons, I’ve decided to become your problem.

Posted onMar 28, 2026

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be using humor to hide pain.

Posted onMar 28, 2026

Due to financial reasons, I will now be performing photosynthesis.

Posted onMar 27, 2026

Ah yes, my abandonment issues due to all the abandonment.

Posted onMar 27, 2026

Due to rising prices, Dollar Tree is changing their name to ‘Tree Fiddy’.

Posted onMar 27, 2026

Due to not wanting to, I will not be.

Posted onMar 27, 2026

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