Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • You know shit’s about to get real when I put on yoga pants before dessert.
  • Once married, the woman takes over the entire closet and the man stores everything he owns in his left cargo pocket.
  • I love to sleep, I wish I could get paid to sleep.
  • The worst thing about wearing headphones is when you hallucinate people shouting you. Like, why does this happen?
  • Sunday night: Super Bowl party! Monday morning: Toilet Bowl party!
  • There is certainly no life on other planets. Otherwise our government would have sent money there long ago.