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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Getting accused of using AI when you didn’t is like this century’s version of a witch allegation.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Yoda, seeing himself in 4K: HDMI

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

The closest thing I’ve had to a personal trainer is the ice cream truck that drove past my house.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Go ahead. Order anything you want. Money is no object when we dine at IKEA.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Candy cigarettes really used to be a thing and we really bought them and walked around like we were smokers at the tender age of 6.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

I may look fine on the outside, but on the inside I’m hungry again.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Source? It was revealed to me on my walk.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Bro, did you seriously just forget about Dre?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,577

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Pinterest:

My husband has reached an age where he reads the menu out loud. The whole menu. And then he has questions. Please send help.

Going viral on Threads:

I named my wifi “The Promised LAN” because it always connects, but occasionally leaves you wandering in the desert looking for a better signal.

Just shared via Instagram:

I’m still annoyed that you can catch Covid more than once. I can’t explain why, but it feels kind of rude.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I have many talents, all equally un-monetizable.

Making waves on Twitch:

Who can better express pain and grief and misery than a man with a harmonica?

Going viral on Snapchat:

Every man’s biggest fear is trying a new barber.

Making waves on Snapchat:

89% of the time when my husband tells me I look great, what he really means is, “We needed to leave five minutes ago.”

Just shared via Discord:

Single in the womb, single till the tomb!

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I love jogging in this heat, cause the sweat hides my tears.

For whom the Fetty Waps.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

fetty, Fetty Wap, humor, music, pun, rapper, wap, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Great minds think alike. Unfortunately, so do stupid ones.

0

3 months ago

alike, great, great mind, humor, irony, mind, minds, ones, stupid, stupid mind, think, think alike, unfortunately, wit
“Don’t bite the hand that feeds you!” Maybe just don’t bite hands. Shouldn’t have to qualify it.

0

2 months ago

advice, bite, context, feeds, hand, hands, humor, just, qualify
The class: “You want us to do what?” Super Mario: “Jump around, catch and eat the giant mushroom, bang your head against the crates and, if necessary, crush all the critters. It’sa easy!”

0

2 months ago

activity, around, bang, catch, class, crates, critter, crush, easy, eat, fun, fun activity, game, giant, head, humor, jump, Mario, mushroom, super, Super Mario, video, video game, want
I’m doing well at accomplishing nothing today and I’m very proud of myself.

0

2 months ago

accomplishing, humor, laziness, nothing, productivity, proud, self-esteem, well-being
I just sneezed and farted at the same time. I think my body just took a screenshot.

0

2 months ago

bodily, bodily function, body, comedy, fart, function, funny moment, humor, i, joke, just, moment, quirky, same, screenshot, sneeze, think, time, unexpected
Sawing a hole in a table from underneath to steal a cake is a lot harder than cartoons would have you believe.

0

5 months ago

believe, cake, cartoons, harder, hole, lot, steal, table

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on Facebook this month:

Cheating on a partner should affect your credit score.

96 shares on Discord this month:

It’s freezing cold outside and my polar bear won’t start.

25 shares on Threads this month:

Most of Twitter could probably use a good bop on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper.

55 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Walking that line between “The internet is great” and “The internet is a mistake” daily.

73 shares on Facebook this month:

Once again, I have fallen for life’s biggest scam: being two hours early for a flight only for security to take roughly seven minutes.

23 shares on X this month:

All I’m saying is, there are too many songs about love and not enough songs about evenly layered nachos.

61 shares on Threads this month:

You have hopes and dreams. I have nopes and screams.

82 shares on TikTok this month:

Getting a wax is wild, like you really just be bust open talking to the lady like it’s nothing.

69 shares on WeChat this month:

You ever met someone so dumb you gotta take a deep breath before responding to them?

95 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Life is just a series of Sopranos references with some other things mixed in.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

If you call me from a private number, I’ll respect your privacy and won’t answer.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Never mind a Roomba, I need a robot garbage can that will follow my kids around the house all day.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Hi, I’m making some changes in my life. If you don’t hear from me, you are one of them.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

For financial reasons, I will be passing away.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

When the blood pressure machine comes out for one person, the whole family has to get involved.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Gotta find someone you’re thermostatically compatible with. You can’t be a 74 dating a 62.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

When you are in your 20s, there is going to be an urge to binge The Sopranos. it is very important that you press play.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

The season is back when women are 80% scarf.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

My lip gloss used to be poppin’, now it’s my knees.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Reddit:

You can never really “own” earbuds. You just have to appreciate the time you had together.

Trending via Threads:

Men be like, “You’ve been different ever since I disrespected you.”

Spotted on TikTok:

So does everybody have a collection of grocery bags that you keep inside of a grocery bag?

Just landed via Pinterest:

The note on this boxed wine says ‘Fresh up to 6 weeks after opening’. 6 weeks. Lol.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I feel so bad when I overtake an old person on the sidewalk. Like, man, I really didn’t mean to flex on you with my youthful stride.

Spotted on Twitch:

It’s important to get out of the house every once in a while to get excited about going home.

Just landed via Twitch:

Social media needs to crash for like a year so everybody can snap back into reality.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Please don’t flirt with me. I’m trying not to cheat on my crush who doesn’t like me.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

December turns me into someone who believes a fat man with a beard can fix everything.

Just shared via Telegram:

I’m going to die from jealousy one day.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

For whom the Fetty Waps.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Great minds think alike. Unfortunately, so do stupid ones.

“Don’t bite the hand that feeds you!” Maybe just don’t bite hands. Shouldn’t have to qualify it.

The class: “You want us to do what?” Super Mario: “Jump around, catch and eat the giant mushroom, bang your head against the crates and, if necessary, crush all the critters. It’sa easy!”

I’m doing well at accomplishing nothing today and I’m very proud of myself.

I just sneezed and farted at the same time. I think my body just took a screenshot.

Sawing a hole in a table from underneath to steal a cake is a lot harder than cartoons would have you believe.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨