Funny Quotes Pictures

I don't have gray hair, I have wisdom highlights.
No matter how busy my Sunday gets, I always manage to set aside time to panic about Monday.
My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!
I'm on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle.
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
Time is precious, waste it wisely.
The only warning I take seriously these days is when my cell phone battery is low.
It's all fun and games until your jeans don't fit any more.
One day I'll do amazing things. Today I'll be satisfied if I don't spill food on my lap.
I changed my alarm clock sound to an applause, it's the least I deserve for waking up at 7am.
"You are what you eat". I don't remember eating a huge disappointment.
My husband and I are doing a workshop. He works and I'll shop.
I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.
When I say “I’m open to feedback” I mean “I accept compliments.”
Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time.
I'm actually pretty attractive, if you don't compare me to anyone, ever.
I wish companies would use pictures of models looking frazzled and exhausted on their websites, so I can get a real idea of what their clothes will look like on me.
I hate that moment when you are tired and sleepy but as soon as you go to bed your body is like "just kidding."
You want fast replies from a female? Argue with her!
TV lead me to believe grave digging would be a lot easier.