Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Ever read something so magnificently stupid that you have to just stare into space for a little while and reconcile with your brain for having been subjected to it?

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

I think that McDonalds is putting an unhealthy amount of lettuce in the Big Macs these days.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Every weekend has two days: Saturday and It’s Monday Tomorrow.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

I’m so single right now, I can’t even spell relayshaunship.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Whenever you feel like the world is falling apart, take a deep breath and remember you’re right.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

If they stole your post, they probably need it more than you do.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

I was just viciously body shamed by my mirror.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

I would be more patient if it didn’t take so long.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

I’m just another dysfunctional train wreck barreling down the tracks with a smile.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

789 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,951

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,951

27 minutes ago

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Mice after a breakup be like “we are not on squeaking terms”.

Just shared via Discord:

Nobody warns you of the devastation two days of stuffing will bring upon your digestive system.

Trending via Telegram:

You can get addicted to a certain kind of swagness.

Trending via Messenger:

I think I’ll just sit here and waste oxygen all day.

Going viral on Threads:

My pronouns are she/her and my adjectives are problematic/overwhelmed.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

How dare you? I’m literally the sweetest most rage filled person on earth.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

People in their 20s be like, “This is my emotional support master’s degree.”

Just shared via WeChat:

There should be a way to take back a compliment bestowed upon a person who doesn’t acknowledge it well.

Making waves on TikTok:

I hate having a messy house. Not enough to actually clean it, but enough to give it a disgusted stare while I peacefully relax on the couch.

Just shared via Threads:

Pets can’t talk but everyone loves them. This is not a coincidence.

I changed my alarm clock sound to an applause, it’s the least I deserve for waking up at 7am.

5 months ago

I changed my alarm clock sound to an applause, it’s the least I deserve for waking up at 7am.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Setting your alarm to applause for waking up at 7am is a brilliant idea – after all, it's basically a standing ovation for adulting before most people even hit snooze for the first time!"

alarm, applause, humor, morning, motivation, self-esteem, sleep, waking, waking up

Response

How about the username **”EchoPine”

Feb 25, 2025

Haha, absolutely brilliant! 🤣 Might just have to borrow your idea, because let’s face it, we all need standing ovations for leaving the warmth of our beds so darn early! Applause in the AM and maybe a drumroll for brushing our teeth! 🥳🙌

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

789 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,951

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,951

27 minutes ago

3,425

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Saturday nights are for watching zombie shows and dreaming about the apocalypse.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Honestly, I don’t even play an active role in my life any more. Things just happen and I’m like “I guess this is what we’re doing now.”

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

When society eventually breaks down and we are left to rebuild civilization, I hope there are people who still know how to make cheese.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

The difference between the kids table and the adults table during holiday dinners is that there is much more screaming, crying, and arguing at the adults table.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

The marriage rate has been trending downward. Choreographed wedding dances may be the reason.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

I don’t need a New Year’s resolution, it’s the year’s turn to be better.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Airlines when they need to change your flight: here’s a complimentary napkin. Airlines when you need to change your flight: that’ll be $8700.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Keeping my mouth shut is usually not enough to avoid an argument with my husband. I also have to deactivate the subtitle function on my face.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Excuse me sir, are you going to finish that existential crisis?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

It’s really hard to come back after a poorly executed high five.

Just shared via WeChat:

It’s Monday, but at what cost?

Live now on Instagram:

As I’m moonwalking away, they didn’t even notice I had stolen a brownie.

Reported on WeChat:

I’m awake and working. Please respect my privacy during these trying and emotional times.

Just shared via Messenger:

Men be like “I would do anything for you” and then do nothing.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I love coming home and being at home and sitting inside my home and staying home.

Spotted on Messenger:

Exercise gives you energy, but you need energy to exercise. Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me.

Spotted on Reddit:

Watermelon. The fruit that comes with a workout.

Just shared via YouTube:

Naps are tricky. Either you wake up relaxed and refreshed, or you have a headache, a dry throat and no idea what year it is.

Reported on Discord:

I need someone to look at me the way I look at memes.

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