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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

All day I think about sleep but when it’s time to go to bed I don’t wanna.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Coffee just tastes better when you are the only one awake in the morning.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Can’t believe we used to throw eggs at houses, and now we can afford neither eggs nor houses.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

I’m not shaking hands anymore. You may bow or kneel down.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Sometimes I see how many vacations people take and I wonder if I’m bad with money or if they are.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

I avoid clarified butter because I prefer my dairy products to be troubled and confused.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

I didn’t expect to have such strong feelings when the subtitles said “smooching” while the actors were kissing.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Vote for me and I’ll remove all the calories from cheese.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

I had to quit my job because people kept falling in love with me there.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

840 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,002

Funny Quotes Topics

13,945

Funny Quotes Images

11,002

3 minutes ago

3,430

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

If I say “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be using humor to hide pain.

Just landed via Instagram:

If I had known how much care balcony plants need, I could have stopped taking the pill.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Spotted on YouTube:

There are only two portion sizes for mashed potatoes: nowhere near enough (posh restaurants) or far, far too much (literally everyone else).

Trending via Reddit:

RIP to everyone killed by the Gods for their hubris, but I’m different. And better. Maybe even better than the Gods.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

It used be called “talking to yourself” but the new term for it is “podcasting”.

Trending via Slack:

May life treat you exactly the same way you treat servers, store clerks, senior citizens, children, and animals.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Alligators can live up to 100 years which is why there is an increased chance that they will see you later.

Shared recently on X:

I hope this email keeps you awake at night.

Spotify Wrapped, but for all your bad decisions this year.

6 months ago

Spotify Wrapped, but for all your bad decisions this year.

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Commentary:
"Introducing 'Life Wrapped: reliving all your questionable life choices from the past year! 🙈🔥 Whether it's that regrettable haircut, questionable fashion trend, or that time you hit reply-all by accident, this playlist has got it all. Get ready to cringe and laugh your way through #LifeWrapped2021! 😂🎉"

bad, bad decision, decision, decisions, humor, mistakes, recap, reflection, Spotify, Spotify Wrapped, wrapped, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

840 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,002

Funny Quotes Topics

13,945

Funny Quotes Images

11,002

3 minutes ago

3,448

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Naked and Afraid because there’s a spider in the shower with me.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Please don’t buy my book on reverse psychology.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

The only traditional costume people around me wear is sweatpants.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Taking a sip of beer and letting out a big “ahhhh” so the pregnant lady at the pool next to me knows what she’s missing.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s, you now respond to every younger person telling you their age with “Jesus Christ”.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Friends with benefits, but it’s just that they make delicious baked goods.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Sunrises are really beautiful, but the timing is rather bad.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

I wonder if this is all happening because I opened that umbrella inside.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

No matter how early you get up, fate always gets up half an hour earlier.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Shazam, but for the name of the person who literally just introduced themself to me.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

Elect a clown, expect a circus.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Every room is a panic room if someone farts.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Calling ahead to the cafe to warn them to “get those beans brewing”.

Just shared via X:

No longer praying on your downfall. I will be directly involved.

Just landed via X:

In the autumn there are two types of creatures who collect acorns: squirrels and toddlers.

Reported on Pinterest:

“Hope this email finds you doing well!” The email found me, therefore I am unwell.

Trending via Instagram:

My husband sure has a lot of opinions on which movie he’s gonna sleep through.

Going viral on WeChat:

Being single for Valentine’s Day is way better than being in the wrong relationship.

Shared recently on Slack:

I only use ‘sir’ disrespectfully.

Breaking via Discord:

I’ve started ripping my shirt in half like Hulk Hogan when I mean business. Long story short, I’m looking for a new job.

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