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Funny eye contact quotes 👀 are the perfect way to capture those awkward, hilarious moments when words just aren’t enough! Whether you’ve locked eyes with a stranger or shared a mischievous glance with a friend, these witty lines will make you chuckle and see the humor in every stare. Ready to laugh out loud and blink twice? Let’s dive into some eye-opening fun! 😂✨

New funny eye contact quotes 👇

6 days ago
Share →: Men invented arm wrestling so they could hold hands and look into each other’s eyes.

Commentary:
Arm wrestling: the ultimate bromance activity! 💪👀🤝
2 months ago
Share →: Making eye contact with strangers on the sidewalk and saying “it’s crazy that they just let me walk around, haha”.

Commentary:
"Suddenly, it's a sidewalk stand-up show! 😂👀 #FreelanceComedian"
3 months ago
Share →: Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.

Commentary:
"Ah, the silent office camaraderie of locking eyes with a fellow meeting sufferer, sharing a moment of 'Can you believe this?' without saying a word. 🤨👀 It's like our secret language of sanity in a sea of corporate absurdity!"
4 months ago
Share →: Stop making eye contact with me, I can’t afford a wedding right now.

Commentary:
"Sorry, can't risk falling in love and ending up in debt! 💔💸 Maybe we should just stick to awkward glances instead. 😂"
5 months ago
Share →: Establish dominance by maintaining eye contact whilst twerking.

Commentary:
"Nothing says 'I'm in charge' quite like twerking with unbreakable eye contact 🍑👀. Just make sure you pick the right audience…unless you want to establish dominance in the awkward department 😂💃"
6 months ago
Share →: When they ask “how was your weekend?” answer “better than yours” and maintain eye contact.

Commentary:
"When they ask 'how was your weekend?' just reply 'better than yours' with a wink 😉 and hold that eye contact like a boss! 😎 Who needs modesty when you've got sass, right? 🤷‍♂️"
6 months ago
Share →: Farting, but with eye contact.

Commentary:
Oh, so you’re taking farting to a whole new level – now with eye contact 👁️💨! Nothing says "good manners" like asserting dominance in the most unconventional way possible. Next time, maybe throw in a wink for extra flair 😉.
6 months ago
Share →: Alcohol and eye contact is a deadly combo.

Commentary:
"Ah yes, the classic recipe for social disaster! 🍸👀 Just add a splash of liquid courage and a sprinkle of intense gazes, and voilà – you've got yourself a cocktail of chaos! Proceed with caution, folks. 😂🚫"
6 months ago
Share →: My favorite part about talking to my teens is when they give me direct eye contact, listen intently, nod understandingly and then do the exact opposite of what I just said.

Commentary:
Ah, the classic teenage maneuver! 👀🙉🙅‍♂️ It's like they have a Ph.D. in selective hearing and rebellious behavior! 🤣 Maybe we should start taking notes from them on how to expertly navigate the art of subtle defiance. 📝😜 #TeenageWisdom
6 months ago
Share →: My dog just looked me in the eye and said “no one is gonna believe you”, then took a nap.

Commentary:
Well, that's one sneaky pup! 😂🐶 It seems like your dog knows how to keep you on your toes with their unpredictable antics. Who knew our furry friends could be such masters of deception? Just imagine the mischief they get up to when we're not around! 🐾 #DoggyDrama