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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

How much chocolate is too much chocolate before it is technically no longer a salad?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Avocado is just green butter.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Dudes be named Will but won’t.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

The real flex is how many wounds you can turn into wisdom.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

A couple of years ago, the internet was an escape from the real world. Today, the real world is an escape from the internet.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

My dental hygienist is probably thinking, I bet i could braid this guys nose hair.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

What if AirPods had tongues and they started licking the inside of your ears to indicate they’re low on battery?

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Called in, “Let’s make this simple. What excuse haven’t I used yet?”

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Nobody calls you old more than people 2 years younger than you.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Olympic gymnast: does the most amazing thing I have ever seen in my entire life. Announcer: Oh dear, that will be a point deduction.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,359

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Country music is for men who need a little help crying.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Gang members are so lucky to have something to do with their hands in photos.

Just landed via Instagram:

The goal is never Gucci bags. It’s acres of land.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Is anyone else really scared for how stupid and illiterate the next generations are gonna be?

Just shared via TikTok:

Home is where you trust the toilet seats.

Just shared via YouTube:

You guys know your secrets are safe with me. It’s the people I share them with you can’t trust.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Worst part of being in my 20’s is to be reminded that I’m actually in my mid-40’s.

Just shared via Threads:

Cooking your own meals really is the best way to devote 50 hours of your life every month to save $50.

Just shared via Threads:

I won’t bore you with my problems because all of my problems are fascinating.

1657 Funny irony quotes

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Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on YouTube this month:

My résumé is really just a list of things I hope I never have to do again.

87 shares on X this month:

I know that we aren’t supposed to self diagnose but I’ve googled all of my symptoms and I’m fairly sure I’m a raccoon.

66 shares on Twitch this month:

August is almost over. September is next week. Time to pick out a Halloween costume and start your Christmas shopping. Happy New Year, everybody.

100 shares on Telegram this month:

The number one rule of Thanksgiving dinner is take your own vehicle so you can leave on your own terms.

71 shares on Snapchat this month:

A garlic a day keeps people away.

89 shares on Slack this month:

Those security guards at the Samsung store are Guardians of the Galaxy.

35 shares on Reddit this month:

I wish my wife’s sighs came with subtitles.

33 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Therapy is cool but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

63 shares on Slack this month:

People will name their dog Steve and have two kids named Buddy and Rocket.

60 shares on Slack this month:

Dear everyone. Upset, bored, angry or hungry. I’m here for you. Sincerely, fridge.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

You’ve never burned music to a CD, and it shows.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Peloton guy yelling “two more, one more” but it’s me eating Cheetos.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I survived a Monday, and for what? Tuesday? Disgusting.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Perhaps moths don’t seek the light, but are simply fleeing the darkness.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Bro, did you really just mix up e.g. and i.e. in front of the hoes?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the work of 3-5 people.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag but I gave someone directions and he made it.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Diabetes was the God of sugar.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Telling my parents they’re like family to me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,393

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

I want the dreams to chase me for once.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say “I know it’s hard, but you’ll be okay. Here’s a coffee and a million dollars.”

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, spreading goat cheese on a bagel.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

I went for an interview at IKEA. The manager greeted me by saying “come in, make a seat”.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

I can’t wait until I’m old enough to pretend I can’t hear.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

All the wrong decisions in this country are based on the fact that my balcony faces out the back and so I can’t speak to the people.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

I start off my mornings with coffee and low expectations.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

I’ve never been cut in half by a magician, but I have worn jeans on Thanksgiving. Same thing.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Partying hard on this Friday night, and by partying hard, I mean laying on my bed starfish-style.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Who needs a dominatrix when you can be beaten up by an automatically retracting vacuum cleaner cable?

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

I need to stop saying “Oppa Gagnam Style!” to fill in awkward pauses in conversation.

Just shared via Instagram:

First date idea: you bring me coffee in bed, and we snuggle all morning.

Just landed via Messenger:

I am not old. I am in the prime of my decay.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

How does world hunger exist when we can fry air?

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Duolingo should have an “I’m going on holiday to this place very soon” setting so it teaches you “can I have the bill” and so on instead of “the cow boils an egg”.

Going viral on TikTok:

Shampoo companies need to be clearer when they say “repairs damage”. I cancelled my therapy for nothing.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

How I clean my room: 1. Start in one corner. 2. Find something from six years ago and stare at it nostalgically for five hours. 3. Go to bed.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I’m not accepting the bare minimum; I need you to shake it to the max.

Trending via Snapchat:

I’m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

Spotted on WeChat:

Fifteen years ago, makeup was all powders and dusts. But now, it’s all goo and liquid. From this, I can infer that by 2040, it will all be made of pigmented gases.

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