"Delusional" ain't a strong enough word to describe people anymore.

“Delusional” ain’t a strong enough word to describe people anymore.

Commentary:
Oh, we've gone way beyond delusional and straight into the realm of extreme fantasy 🧙‍♂️! Calling these folks delusional would be like saying a hurricane is just a light breeze 💨. It's like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole… with a bulldozer 🚜! We might need to invent a whole new word for these visionary individuals 🤪!

People always ask me "Do you believe in God?" and I say of course it’s important to have self-belief.

People always ask me “Do you believe in God?” and I say of course it’s important to have self-belief.

Commentary:
Absolutely! Who needs divine intervention when you've got self-confidence to the max? 🙌 Believe in yourself, and watch miracles happen (or at least some impressive self-improvement)! 🌟 #FaithInMeNotDeity

They should invent a way to delete other people’s posts.

They should invent a way to delete other people’s posts.

Commentary:
Haha, imagine having a "delete" button for other people's posts! 💥🚫 Talk about the ultimate power move in the social media world. 😂 "Accidentally deleted your post, sorry not sorry!" 🙊💥 #DeleteGameStrong

People in my real life annoy me, so I come online to annoy you.

People in my real life annoy me, so I come online to annoy you.

Commentary:
"Who needs real-life drama when you can have online chaos instead? 😜💻 Let the annoyances begin! #InternetLife"

It’s so crazy how people are never down to just go get a burger. It didn’t used to be like this.

It’s so crazy how people are never down to just go get a burger. It didn’t used to be like this.

Commentary:
"Who knew burgers were so exclusive now? 🍔🙅‍♂️ Maybe they're just trying to avoid feeling 'beefed' up afterwards! 🤣 #BurgerElitists"

I have had songs stuck in my head and I have had people stuck in my head, I highly recommend songs.

I have had songs stuck in my head and I have had people stuck in my head, I highly recommend songs.

Commentary:
"Having people stuck in your head can lead to messy situations…but having songs stuck in your head just leads to impromptu karaoke sessions at inappropriate times! 🎤🎶 Let’s stick with the safer option, shall we?"

There’s something fundamentally wrong with the way people interact with each other on LinkedIn.

There’s something fundamentally wrong with the way people interact with each other on LinkedIn.

Commentary:
Oh LinkedIn, the land of humblebrags and strategic networking 🤝! It's like a virtual corporate cocktail party where everyone's trying to out-professional each other. Maybe we should add a 'Likes to make puns' skill to our profiles to lighten the mood 😄. Just remember, on LinkedIn, we all strive to be LinkedInfluencers! #ProfessionalJokesOnly 🤓👔

Two people had sex and now I'm fighting for my life everyday.

Two people had sex and now I’m fighting for my life everyday.

Commentary:
Oh, the drama of being a third wheel in the soap opera of life! 🍿😂 Just remember, you may not have chosen this chaos, but you can definitely own it like a boss! 💪😜 #ThirdWheelProblems

Why do people think it’s ok to ask why a person is single? I don’t ask why you’re unhappily married.

Why do people think it’s ok to ask why a person is single? I don’t ask why you’re unhappily married.

Commentary:
"Why do people think it's okay to ask why a person is single? I don't ask why you're unhappily married. 🤷‍♂️💍 Maybe they should mind their own beeswax before stirring the relationship pot! 😄🔥"

British people be like "It's Chewsday, innit?"

British people be like “It’s Chewsday, innit?”

Commentary:
"Oh, what a splendid day it is for chewsing! 🇬🇧🍴 Just another typical Chewsday in the land of tea and crumpets! 😂 #BritishHumor"