1071 Funny people quotes

• I feel like this holiday season, it’s important to remind people of the true meaning of Christmas: ghosts terrorizing rich people in the middle of the night until they agree to pay their employees more.

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  2 weeks ago

  agree, Christmas, commentary, employee, employees, feel, ghost, ghosts, holiday, holiday season, humor, i, important, meaning, middle, night, pay, pay raise, people, person, raise, remind, rich, rich person, season, social, social commentary, true

• The modern condition is mostly trying to do things on your own that people have historically achieved with a large support network, and wondering why you’re tired all the time.

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  2 weeks ago

  condition, connection, exhaustion, fatigue, humor, independence, large, life, modern, modern life, network, observation, own, people, self-reliance, social, social connection, support, support network, things, time, tired, trying, why, wondering

• The internet is making people stupid. Not me, though.

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  2 weeks ago

  humor, internet, irony, making, me, people, self-awareness, stupid, stupidity

• Shoutout to everyone who remembers their childhood landline number but can’t recall the password they made yesterday. You’re my people.

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  2 weeks ago

  childhood, everyone, forgetfulness, humor, landline, memory, nostalgia, number, password, people, phone, phone number, recall, shoutout, technology, yesterday

• A dinosaur as a pet would solve so many problems. Mainly, people problems.

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  2 weeks ago

  dinosaur, humor, people, people problem, pet, problem, problems, solve

• I be telling people, “I respect your decision,” and I really don’t. The decision is always something stupid, and I just don’t want to engage any further.

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  2 weeks ago

  always, attitude, communication, decision, frustration, honesty, humor, i, just, people, respect, sarcasm, something, stupid, telling, want

• Showing your emotions to the wrong people is like bleeding next to a shark.

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  2 weeks ago

  bleeding, danger, emotion, emotions, feelings, metaphor, next, people, shark, showing, trust, vulnerability, wrong

• Sometimes I wonder if the strangers I see when I go outside are actually the people I talk to online.

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  2 weeks ago

  actually, humor, i, interaction, internet, online, outside, people, social, social interaction, sometimes, stranger, strangers, talk, wonder

• After hearing that I have too many books and too many bookshelves, I’ve decided to cut back on the amount of people I listen to.

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  2 weeks ago

  advice, after, amount, back, book, books, bookshelf, cut, decision, hearing, humor, i, listen, listening, people, reading, too

• People say, “Listen to your heart, do the right thing,” like they are the same things.

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  3 weeks ago

  advice, decision, heart, humor, irony, listen, people, right, right thing, same, say, thing, things

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