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125 Funny pet quotes

If I’m ever found dead in the woods, it’s probably because I was trying to pet a bear.

3 months ago

If history is repeating itself, when can I buy a pet dinosaur?

3 months ago

My boyfriend just said “I encourage you to try all things” to our cat who was licking up Buffalo sauce.

3 months ago

Me to cat: quit looking at me like I’m an ingredient.

3 months ago

Pet owners be like “this is my pet Snoopy, but their nicknames are Booboo and Thicky Boy!”

3 months ago

The great thing about having pet insurance is that while our dachshund is at the vets, they’ve given us a courtesy poodle to hang out with.

3 months ago

Love that every time I finish a snack I have to wave my hands around to prove to my dog it’s all gone, like I’m cashing him out at a casino or something.

3 months ago

We got our carpet cleaned today, so I’m just waiting for the dog to throw up.

3 months ago

My life changed when I learned some house spiders can’t survive outside, so now I just catch them and release them in a friend’s home.

3 months ago

Lovingly looking at my dog knowing I’m about to ruin her day with a bath.

3 months ago

The only reason I insist on returning to the office is because my cat needs a break from me staring at him all day.

3 months ago

I really want an emotional support octopus so I can train it to slap people and shoplift.

3 months ago

Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.

3 months ago

Every laptop should have a “cat” button that disables the keyboard so they can nap.

3 months ago

Dogs are like chicken nuggets; every time I see one, I want it.

3 months ago

A car window made specifically for a dog to stick its head out of is called a sunwoof.

3 months ago

Dog barking like an angry baby, baby crying like an angry dog.

3 months ago

If your cat has ever accidentally fallen into the tub while you were taking bath, you’ve known chaos.

3 months ago

The perfect number of cats is two stupid cats. Preferably siblings. But they can’t both be the same type of stupid. One needs to be stupid (dumb) and one needs to be stupid (annoying).

3 months ago

You can always gauge my mood by the type of animal videos I share: sweet puppy videos or a cat smacking the shit out of someone.

3 months ago