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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡¦ has shared:

I just need to get over everything that has happened to me in my entire life and then we can hang out.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ύ has viewed:

I’m often mistaken for an adult because of my age.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡± has viewed:

So many people say they love their Roomba, but you never see them set it free.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡¨ has shared:

Relationship status: We have changed from “I love you” to “I love YouTube”.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡· has viewed:

Please don’t celebrate April Fool’s day if you’re not a fool. My culture is not your costume.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡¬ has bookmarked:

I was sad, but then I ordered some new clothes. I’m okay now.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡― has copied:

I don’t think you all understand. If Taylor Swift didn’t have a private jet, she’d be Taylor Slow.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ώ has copied:

Since I tolerate gluten and lactose well, I can afford a few intolerances in the interpersonal area.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡Ώ has shared:

There are days when trying to control your class is like trying to hug a tornado.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡° has copied:

Me to cat: quit looking at me like I’m an ingredient.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

Updated

14 minutes ago

Users Online

3,419

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Breaking via Threads:

Who called it a period tracker instead of a madvent calendar?

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I love how these vegans still drink water. That’s a fish’s house!

Just shared via Twitch:

After 30, an all-nighter is not getting up to pee.

Making waves on WeChat:

Hey man, your fly is down. Let me get that for you.

Just shared via Slack:

I’m so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed.

Trending via Reddit:

Almost fell asleep while putting on the sweater because it got dark for a moment. That’s all you need to know about my morning state.

Just shared via Telegram:

I’m not falling for it again. These missions have been successful 8 times already.

Just landed via Telegram:

Me, at the intervention: β€œAh look, all the reasons I drink gathered in one place.”

Freshly posted on WeChat:

He was clicking his pen 137 times a minute, Your Honor.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

8 year gap on resume that just says β€œkarate”.

Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.

Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.
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Commentary:
Relationship Status: Playing it cool with the pup, hoping he doesn't realize he's been pied πŸ˜‚πŸΆπŸƒ #PuppyRejection #LeafDistraction

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

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Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

Updated

14 minutes ago

Users Online

3,425

Funny Quotes of the Month πŸš€

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡¬ has downloaded:

Today I ate vegetable lasagna… I don’t want to talk about it.

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡· has viewed:

It’s funny how when you’re at work, β€œGo to hell” comes out as β€œNo problem.”

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ί has downloaded:

Anyone know if we got the meek inheriting the Earth today?

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡¬ has downloaded:

She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡ͺ has viewed:

A fun thing to do at work is call in sick and stay home.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡± has copied:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the holiday traffic I said I’d avoid even though I did nothing to avoid it.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ύ has copied:

Airport security asked me if I’ve seen anything unusual. I just paid $18 for a coke & a sandwich. Let’s start with that.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡· has downloaded:

Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be justwater.

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡² has copied:

Proverbs are so mean. Like, I don’t deserve any worm because I woke up at 11am? Like, no worm at all?

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡ͺ has shared:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. I’m more interested in seeing your Pornhub Wrapped.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Going viral on WhatsApp:

After cooking show a dishwashing show with same host but kind of drunk.

Trending via WeChat:

Welcome to adulthood. The weekend is your only time to catch up on everything, but also your only time to do absolutely nothing.

Making waves on Instagram:

Feels like the Chinese government turned up the power on the sleepy ray they use on me every morning.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

When I was a kid I would say I’m whatever age and a half because I wanted to be older. Now I say I turned 40 a few years ago.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Introverts be like “I know a place”, then go home.

Making waves on Telegram:

I’d like to shrink you down and add you to my keychain.

Just shared via YouTube:

The free hotel blow-dryer should be easier to get off the bathroom wall.

Making waves on TikTok:

Never understood when the movie rating says β€œMay contain nudity.” Are there people on the ratings board who aren’t sure if they just saw someone naked?

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.

Trending via Slack:

Got so emotional thinking about the Toy Story aliens. They have each other.

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