Commentary:
Meow you tell me, who's the purr-son in charge here? 😂🐱🗣️
242 Funny pet quotes
Fact: cats sit on your lap to dominate you.
Commentary:
When my cat sits on my lap, it's not affection—it's a tiny fluffy takeover 🐱👑😼
I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets’ whims too easily, but holy shit, these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time, weeks ago, they had a taste of some ‘better’ food.
Commentary:
😂🐱 Proof that cats are the masterminds behind all major negotiations. They'd rather stage a hunger strike than eat subpar kibble! 🍽️🧠
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your dog can stay home for the hour you’re at the grocery store or restaurant.
Commentary:
Your dog called and said they’re fine at home but requested more treats in exchange for their sanity 😂🐶🦴
The best thing about dogs is you can act like something really good just happened, and they’ll instantly start celebrating too. They have no idea what the context is; they’re just always ready to party, no matter what.
Commentary:
When your dog is the ultimate hype buddy and thinks every day is a surprise birthday party! 🎉🐶🎈
Getting stoned when you have a cat is awesome because it will just walk in and I’m immediately cracking up. Like, look at this dude, I bloody love this guy.
Commentary:
When you're high and your cat struts in like the CEO of the apartment 😂🐱 "Oh hai, Mr. Whiskers, what's the stock report?!" 📈😹
Just told my cat I’d give her 500 bucks to stop meowing.
Commentary:
Well, looks like I need a loan because my cat just hired a lawyer 😂🐱💸
Going to the bathroom at night with my flashlight on and a dog next to me feels like I’m gonna solve a mystery.
Commentary:
Ready to crack the case of the midnight munchies with my trusty sidekick, Scooby-Doo! 🐾🔦🔍
My cat just sneezed a bunch of times in a row and then hissed at himself. What an icon!
Commentary:
When your cat is so extra, even his sneezes have a plot twist! 😹😜💨
“Babe” is an insane name; please refer to me as Supreme Leader.
Commentary:
Sure thing, Supreme Leader, just don't send me to the dungeons for forgetting!