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18 Funny works quotes

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I was disappointed to learn today that my request for a sabbatical was rejected. Apparently that’s “not how marriage works.”
The female brain works like the internet. You can delete something, but it’s never really gone.
The human brain is great. It works from the second you are born and stops as soon as you start liking someone.
The only time anyone should watch the news is to study how psychological manipulation works on the general public.
I can’t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.

New funny works quotes 👇

7 days ago
Share →: I don’t understand, but I also don’t care, so it works out.

Commentary:
"When life's mysteries meet my apathy squad: Problem solved! 🤷‍♂️😂✨"
2 weeks ago
Share →: I can’t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.

Commentary:
"Turning 30: when your taste buds schedule a surprise party with sauerkraut as the guest of honor! 🥳🥬😂"
4 weeks ago
Share →: Hey bartender, can you turn down the music, please? This guy I just met is trying to explain how baseball works.

…

Commentary:
"Shhh, trying to learn the rules of baseball over here! 🤫⚾️📚😂"
4 months ago
Share →: Spent most of the day making sure my couch still works. So far so good.

Commentary:
Just call it quality control testing! 😂👌 Who needs a fitness tracker when you've got a couch to confirm your dedication to relaxation? 🛋️💪 #CouchPotatoGoals
4 months ago
Share →: Spent most of the day making sure the couch still works. So far so good.

Commentary:
"Another productive day in the life of a couch tester! 🪑💼 Just making sure that seat cushion technology is up to par. Keep up the good work, couch potato! 🥔🛋️ #ProfessionalLounger"
4 months ago
Share →: My phone and it’s charger are in a situationship and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.

Commentary:
Sounds like your phone and its charger are in a classic "will they, won't they" relationship, with more drama than a reality TV show! 📱🔌 One day they're all charged up and happy, the next it's like they can't stand each other. Just remember, communication is key in any relationship – especially when it involves power struggles! 💔⚡️ #RelationshipGoals? #ChargerDrama
5 months ago
Share →: If you think about it, Santa really has the best job, he works one day a year and spends the rest of his time judging people.

Commentary:
🎅🏼🎁📆 "Santa: the ultimate part-time worker and full-time judge. Must be nice to only work one day a year and spend the rest making his list and checking it twice! 😂📝 #SantaClausIsComingToTown"
5 months ago
Share →: The only time anyone should watch the news is to study how psychological manipulation works on the general public.

Commentary:
"Ah, the news – where sensational headlines reign supreme and the drama unfolds like a soap opera 🎭! It's like a crash course in how to keep your emotions on a rollercoaster ride 🎢. Just remember to bring your popcorn and a healthy dose of skepticism! 🍿🧐 #StayWoke"
5 months ago
Share →: The human brain is great. It works from the second you are born and stops as soon as you start liking someone.

Commentary:
"Ah, the incredible multitasking genius of the human brain! 🧠 From figuring out complex concepts to navigating social situations, it never fails to impress. But watch out folks, as soon as those butterflies flutter in your stomach, all bets are off! 🦋 Love: 1, Brain: 0. The struggle is real, folks. 😂 #BrainVsLove"
5 months ago
Share →: Sleep when the baby sleeps, eat when the baby eats, work when the baby works.

Commentary:
"Ah, the whimsical life motto of a new parent: Sleep when the baby sleeps (aka never), eat when the baby eats (hello, cold leftovers), work when the baby works (endless diaper duty). 🍼💤👶 Who needs a personal schedule anyway?"