38 funny works quotes - Wordgag ツ

Crazy to think the average Zoomer male just works, watches porn, and plays video games. That’s it. That’s their whole life.

Feb 3, 2026

Would rather walk around a shop 500 times to find something than ask a member of staff who works there like a normal person.

Feb 3, 2026

Inside you, there are two wolves. Kevin Costner is dancing with both of them. I don’t know how this works.

Feb 3, 2026

Every marriage has a personality hire, and then someone who knows how insurance works.

Feb 3, 2026

I love that retail therapy works on me. I am so much happier and at peace when I’m buying things for myself.

Feb 2, 2026

Therapy only works if you have a lower IQ than the therapist.

Feb 2, 2026

“I’m going to try underthinking about a situation, and see if that works.”

Feb 2, 2026

I’ve never found a “Remember Me” checkbox that works. Nothing remembers me.

Feb 2, 2026

Rage bait often works on me because I was already angry before I read that.

Feb 2, 2026

By 30, you should have settled down with an addiction that works for your lifestyle, no second guessing. You go to work, come home, and [addiction].

Feb 2, 2026

Not today, Satan, but next week works.

Feb 2, 2026

If I’m ever on life support, unplug me, then plug me back in. See if that works.

Feb 1, 2026

Anti-capitalism is just code for “I don’t know how anything works.”

Feb 1, 2026

Shoutout to everyone who works hard to support their dog’s extravagant lifestyle.

Feb 1, 2026

I can’t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.

Jan 31, 2026

Hey bartender, can you turn down the music, please? This guy I just met is trying to explain how baseball works.

Jan 31, 2026

Spent most of the day making sure my couch still works. So far so good.

Jan 30, 2026

Spent most of the day making sure the couch still works. So far so good.

Jan 30, 2026

My phone and it’s charger are in a situationship and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.

Jan 30, 2026

If you think about it, Santa really has the best job, he works one day a year and spends the rest of his time judging people.

Jan 29, 2026

The only time anyone should watch the news is to study how psychological manipulation works on the general public.

Jan 29, 2026

The human brain is great. It works from the second you are born and stops as soon as you start liking someone.

Jan 23, 2026

Sleep when the baby sleeps, eat when the baby eats, work when the baby works.

Jan 23, 2026

Sex is cool, but have you ever had a can opener that actually works?

Jan 23, 2026

The female brain works like the internet. You can delete something, but it’s never really gone.

Jan 22, 2026

Billion dollar technology idea: A printer that works.

Jan 22, 2026

I was disappointed to learn today that my request for a sabbatical was rejected. Apparently that’s “not how marriage works.”

Jan 21, 2026

Before Google, if you didn’t know something you had to go ask someone and most of the time they couldn’t help you, and now that’s also how Google works.

Jan 21, 2026

Not all works of art are in a museum. I, for example, am lying on the couch at home.

Jan 21, 2026

I’m writing a fairytale about a printer that just works.

Jan 21, 2026

I don’t understand, but I also don’t care… so it works out.

Jan 20, 2026

They should invent a day where it all works out.

Jan 19, 2026

The way Adele works for 6 months and then disappears for 7 years is very much the work-life balance I’m all about.

Jan 19, 2026

When a man likes you, he talks to you every day, and apparently, when you start to like him back, he is very busy and can’t talk at all. That’s how it works.

Jan 19, 2026

Hot girl in her 20s: It’s so weird, but I keep getting lucky, and everything works out in my favor.

Jan 19, 2026

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying works.

Jan 19, 2026

I really can’t wait until it all works out.

Jan 19, 2026

You know who else works in mysterious ways? Me.

Jan 18, 2026