Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

My love language is deader than Latin.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

How are they running out of oxygen if they’re breathing it right back into the submarine?

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next you sneeze too hard and hurt your neck.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

You know it’s a fancy restaurant when you have to point at what you want on the menu because you can’t pronounce the name.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

You ever notice how fans of the worst music always focus on the meanings of the songs instead of the actual music?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Sadly, I do my best proofreading after I hit “send.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, knock over a lamp, and land on the floor.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

We went out on a boat to see whales and the crew encouraged us to clap and cheer for the whales and boo at the regular fish.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to run my brain through the dishwasher.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

The 10 minutes I spend on my mobile before I go to sleep are the best 3 hours of my day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,731

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

It’s okay, facial recognition. I don’t recognize myself anymore either.

Just shared via Facebook:

I should’ve been a crow. They get to fly around looking goth as hell and seeking retribution. Instead, I have to go to an office and work on my ‘people skills.’

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

No one is more surprised than my kids every night when I say it’s bed time.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Sports are better when you have hate in your heart.

Making waves on Slack:

Why’d they call it a fly swatter and not a splatula?

Seen just now on Facebook:

To the knife wielding psycho who walked in on me in the shower; I’m sorry you had to see that.

Just landed via Messenger:

“Oh, I’d love to but I can’t.” Translation: I don’t want to so I won’t.

Just landed via Discord:

Don’t disrespect me and then be the moral compass on how I respond.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Damn, all this overthinking and I still be making dumb decisions.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I woke up extra early today to get in as much ‘worrying about it being Monday tomorrow’ as possible.

Got a botched circumcision, now my willy wonka.

6 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Talk about a chocolate factory malfunction 🍫😅🚧

botched, botched circumcision, circumcision, got, humor, medical, medical mishap, mishap, pun, willy, willy wonka, Wonka, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Be nice to me, I may be hot one day.

0

2 months ago

confidence, day, flirting, hot, humor, i, me, nice, self-esteem
Striking gold in your 40s: finding a close parking spot that’s in the shade on a hot summer day.

0

2 months ago

40s, close, day, everyday, everyday struggle, finding, gold, hot, hot day, humor, luck, parking, patience, relatable, shade, spot, struggle, summer
I’m sorry, but when you call me ‘batshit crazy’ it’s almost starting to sound like you think it’s a bad thing!

0

2 months ago

apology, bad, batshit, batshit crazy, call, confidence, crazy, humor, me, perception, self-acceptance, sorry, sound, thing, think, uniqueness
Taking action is my least favorite thing to take.

0

2 months ago

action, favorite, humor, inaction, least, least favorite, procrastination, take, taking, thing
Well, well, well, if it isn’t that thing I’ve been ignoring until it became a giant problem.

0

2 months ago

acknowledgment, giant, humor, ignore, ignoring, neglect, oversight, problem, procrastination, realization, surprise, thing, well
French is bullshit. They keep changing the translation of ‘soup du jour’ each day.

0

2 months ago

bullshit, changing, day, du, food, french, humor, joke, jour, keep, language, restaurant, soup, soup du jour, translation

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Twitch this month:

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed over their chest because of the belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

77 shares on X this month:

If you can reach enlightenment, can you also reach endarkenment?

85 shares on WeChat this month:

If you give me a serious answer to a silly question, I’m giving you a wedgie.

83 shares on Discord this month:

You ever notice how when you get home from food shopping, the kids turn into airport security?

12 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s so hot the chipmunks are using my bird bath as a hot tub and requesting mimosas and the brunch menu.

29 shares on Slack this month:

Brain, I know you’re trying hard, but you are not doing a good job.

52 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t hate you, I just don’t want to see you alive.

99 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Weekends now feel like short commercial breaks in a stressful movie.

79 shares on TikTok this month:

Sorry, I had feelings. I’ll replace them with jokes right away.

66 shares on X this month:

Just did several sets of some bullshit at the gym… no idea which muscles have been targeted.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Listen up. If he hooks his sunglasses in the front collar of his shirt, he’s got something important to say.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Having a horse run off on you in medieval times must have been crazy. Imagine if your car got scared and ran away, and you found it a day later by itself at a gas station.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Most guys probably just have a foot fetish because their first girlfriend was a sock.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

No, I’m not “dating anyone.” I’m really busy playing outside.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

If someone texts “Do you have a minute,” it’s a trick. Don’t fall for it.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Every triangle is a love triangle when you love triangles.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Standing on a scale and thinking: so much wisdom and inner beauty can’t be light.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

“Damn, you’re tight!” I whisper as I look at my monthly budget.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Everytime I spend $20 I think this is fine because I won’t do it again. And then would you believe.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

If you comment to say “No comment,” you have, in fact, commented.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

Once you start paying rent, every joke stops being funny.

Just shared via Slack:

People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out… I mean, don’t they have thoughts?

Going viral on Reddit:

What, and I cannot stress this enough, day is it.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I don’t hate you. I just don’t like that you exist.

Breaking via Discord:

Imagine Pinocchio roasting you for 5 mins straight and his nose didn’t move an inch.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Congrats to my tween for graduating at the top of his class from eye roll university.

Making waves on Reddit:

Tweeting shouldn’t cost money but it should flip you on your back like a bug for 15 minutes.

Going viral on Slack:

Incredibly annoying that exercising, eating right, and drinking water can make you actually feel good.

Going viral on Discord:

A big F*** YOU to people driving small cars and pulling deep into parking spaces so I think I have a spot until the last second.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

If you respond to my sarcasm with better sarcasm, then I might just catch feelings.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Got a botched circumcision, now my willy wonka.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Be nice to me, I may be hot one day.

Striking gold in your 40s: finding a close parking spot that’s in the shade on a hot summer day.

I’m sorry, but when you call me ‘batshit crazy’ it’s almost starting to sound like you think it’s a bad thing!

Taking action is my least favorite thing to take.

Well, well, well, if it isn’t that thing I’ve been ignoring until it became a giant problem.

French is bullshit. They keep changing the translation of ‘soup du jour’ each day.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨