Wordgag ใƒ„

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has copied:

My savings account has been empty for so long that a Spirit Halloween just opened up inside it.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ธ has viewed:

You cannot trust me at a zoo because Iโ€™ll release the animals.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ด has bookmarked:

If youโ€™re going to walk in my shoes, please also wear my FitBit.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has viewed:

The egg doesnโ€™t swim to the sperm, girl. Never chase a man.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has shared:

I will never be the person this serving size suggestion wants me to be.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ณ has bookmarked:

Due to unfortunate circumstances, things are no longer fergalicious nor bootylicious.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡น has bookmarked:

Deleted all dating apps, instead Iโ€™m just going to walk into a grocery store and look confused.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has shared:

Sometimes the voices in my head get bullied by the voices in my stomach.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ป has bookmarked:

My issue with Jeopardy is that you never get the sense that the contestants are in any real danger.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has downloaded:

You guys can continue with the week, Iโ€™ve stopped here.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

1734 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,896

Funny Quotes Topics

14,715

Funny Quotes Images

11,896

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Just shared via LinkedIn:

My life is based on a true story.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Sometimes I donโ€™t worry about things at all and other times I am awake.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I wish pets lived longer, and life wasnโ€™t so expensive, and cake didnโ€™t make you fat, and people werenโ€™t twats.

Trending via Snapchat:

Thereโ€™s a famous ancient Chinese proverb, but itโ€™s written in Chinese so I have no idea what it says.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

A foghorn but for people who canโ€™t see through their own bullshit.

Making waves on Discord:

Iโ€™m not feeling very worky today.

Live now on Twitch:

Not to brag but there are so many movies out there that have watched me sleep.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Word on the street is that the fire in your heart is out.

Just shared via Facebook:

Wiping my hands on my pants before Iโ€™m shaking someoneโ€™s hand, so they spend the rest of the day wondering what I just touched.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 26 minutes and was performed by the child sitting behind me on a flight from LA to Tokyo.

Happiness is when you really have nothing to do with people you want absolutely nothing to do with.
Happiness is when you really have nothing to do with people you want absolutely nothing to do with.
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Commentary:
"Ah, the sweet bliss of finding happiness in avoiding certain individuals like the plague ๐Ÿ™…โ€โ™‚๏ธ Sometimes, true joy can be found in the art of selective social distancing. Who knew peace could come with a side of avoiding awkward encounters? ๐Ÿ˜… #EmbracingTheAntiSocialLife"

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

1734 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,896

Funny Quotes Topics

14,715

Funny Quotes Images

11,896

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ช has downloaded:

Not to brag, but I just stood up without making a sound. Donโ€™t be jealous.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡น has copied:

If you ever think English is not a weird language just remember that read and lead rhyme and read and lead rhyme. But read and lead donโ€™t rhyme, and neither do read and lead.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has viewed:

Farmers markets should be for vegetables โ€” not for millennials unloading their failed Etsy-store arts and crafts.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ต has shared:

Why be just a part of the solution when you can be the whole problem?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡พ has copied:

Had chicken and egg for dinner because I wanted to eat the whole family.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ท has shared:

I hope this email keeps you awake at night.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ผ has copied:

If you gain 4 pounds in one weekend, that just means youโ€™re an overachiever.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has viewed:

You donโ€™t know about stupidity until your female friends open up about their love life.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ซ has shared:

I donโ€™t drink alcohol. I like suffering raw.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ช has downloaded:

If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Making waves on Facebook:

โ€œToo much garlicโ€? Whatโ€™s next? Too much love? Too much desire?

Making waves on YouTube:

When a girl is done with you, she talks to you like sheโ€™s in HR or something.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Hate Googleโ€™s Gemini. If I wanted to get misinformation from a Gemini, Iโ€™d talk to my mother.

Just shared via Reddit:

Sex makes you happy. So I understand your dissatisfaction.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I miss when bills had nothing to do with me.

Spotted on YouTube:

My husband keeps borrowing and losing my tweezers, so Iโ€™m naming this chin hair after him.

Going viral on Messenger:

No, I donโ€™t like nature. I canโ€™t respect anything that would so flippantly turn dinosaurs into birds.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I am not old. I am in the prime of my decay.

Shared recently on X:

My swear jar is filing for an IPO soon.

Just shared via Twitch:

I donโ€™t wish anyone strife in their relationship but I do wish my neighbors would enunciate a little more when they fight so I can hear better.

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