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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

No one ever talks about the 6th love language (being annoying).

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Lately, when I meet new people, I ask them what their hobbies are instead of what they do for work, and let me tell you, the conversations have been absolutely top tier!

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

A storm knows it’s laced with destruction, and yet it rages on.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

I knew school was a scam when my business teacher didn’t own a business, and my PE teacher was fat.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Mike is short for Micycle.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Men call us “gold diggers” when we expect them to pay for a meal. Honey, a gold digger goes after yachts, not a piece of chicken.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Our pronunciation of the word “colonel” does feel like group psychosis.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

I don’t like the person I become when my boss tells me I should be working while at work.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Unfollowing girls on Instagram as soon as they get a boyfriend is something I’ll never stop doing.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

I love men with a provider fetish.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,422

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

A frightening number of young people alive today don’t know about Knight Rider.

Going viral on TikTok:

Super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread.

Just shared via Twitch:

Just so you know, it’s almost impossible to drink coffee while laying down.

Making waves on Telegram:

Reading for pleasure implies the existence of reading for pain. They’re calling it a PhD.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

“You’re not allowed to be grumpy on a Friday, it’s in the fine print somewhere.”

Shared recently on Telegram:

I’m not starting a presentation with “ladies and gentlemen”, I’m using the gender neutral “to those who heed my warnings”.

Breaking via TikTok:

The only warning I take seriously these days is when my cell phone battery is low.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

“We will go ahead and make these changes if we don’t hear from you before Friday” is such an elegant way to solve problems.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I crashed my bike in 1989 and hurt my knee real bad. We didn’t have social media back then so I’m telling you guys now.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

“There are lots of benefits to working here. We have fun social events and activities after work!” And what are the benefits?

Happiness is when you really have nothing to do with people you want absolutely nothing to do with.

2 months ago

0

Happiness is when you really have nothing to do with people you want absolutely nothing to do with.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the sweet bliss of finding happiness in avoiding certain individuals like the plague 🙅‍♂️ Sometimes, true joy can be found in the art of selective social distancing. Who knew peace could come with a side of avoiding awkward encounters? 😅 #EmbracingTheAntiSocialLife"

avoid, detachment, freedom, happiness, introvert, nothing, people, social, solitude, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.

0

2 months ago

communication, humor, self-awareness, speaking, spontaneity, surprise, thinking
I’ve noticed that when young people now talk about “old people”, they mean me.

0

2 months ago

age, gap, generational, generational gap, humor, me, mean, noticed, old, old people, people, perception, self-reflection, talk, young, young people
In an effort to keep the employees motivated and increase morale, my boss has asked me to stop talking to everyone.

0

2 months ago

asked, boss, communication, effort, employees, everyone, humor, keep, me, morale, motivated, motivation, office, stop, stop talking, talking, workplace
Eating Chinese takeout is never as depressing as in the movies. It usually is good.

0

2 months ago

Chinese, Chinese takeout, depressing, eating, expectation, expectation vs reality, food, good, humor, movie, never, reality, takeout, vs
Unlike men, women would immediately admit their mistakes if they had any.

0

2 months ago

admit, gender, humor, men, mistakes, relationship, women
At the self-checkout, I make small talk with myself and I wish I would just shut up.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, awkward, awkward moment, conversation, humor, i, introvert, just, moment, myself, self-checkout, shopping, shut, small, small talk, social, social anxiety, talk, wish

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on Snapchat this month:

I am in favor of equal pay for men on OnlyFans.

84 shares on Instagram this month:

I may join the cicadas this summer and just scream for six weeks straight.

27 shares on Instagram this month:

Just eating the emotional support snickers bar in my purse. How about you?

89 shares on TikTok this month:

Imagine you blocked me, and I crawled out from under your couch to ask why.

13 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m ready to try another planet.

89 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The empty spot in your bed is for snacks, not liars.

59 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m the kind of crazy you weren’t warned about because no one knew this level existed.

43 shares on Reddit this month:

Having to pee when you’re driving is problematic. Having to sneeze when you’re driving is even more problematic.

87 shares on Twitch this month:

I be like “communication is the key” then put my phone on do not disturb.

22 shares on Pinterest this month:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here hating myself.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I like it when you’re reading a comic and you can tell the writer is pissed about what the last writer did to the character.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

My body is a machine that turns traumatic experiences into 10 likes on X.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Every weekend has two days: Saturday and It’s Monday Tomorrow.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The thief who stole my iPhone could face time.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My cat’s in a bad mood, despite eating and sleeping all day.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe coffee is addicted to me?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry for having no idea what the hell I am doing. It will happen again.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

They did so well traumatizing us about teen pregnancy, I’m still traumatized as an adult.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I always sit in the middle stall so I have a bathroom buddy.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Girl, are you an Uber driver? Because you are driving me to drink.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,608

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

All I care about is being financially stable and getting sexier.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

In retrospect, I guess “one drunken night of stupidity” isn’t the best response when a child asks you where babies come from.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

There’s literally no law that says you can’t put your friends down as your references and pretend they were your boss at an old job. Literally, there’s no law that says that.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

If you accuse me of yelling, you will start to hear yelling so you can note the difference in the future.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Italy stands for I Truly Always Love You.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Parents become grandparents and lose all their senses. All of a sudden, they got McDonald’s money now.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

And for my next trick, I will turn yesterday’s sweatpants into today’s sweatpants.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Brainwashing is always considered terrible and horrible. But there are many brains that would benefit from a wash.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

My issue with Jeopardy is that you never get the sense that the contestants are in any real danger.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Ironic that the two ơ’s in “cooperate” insist on having their own separate sounds.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on YouTube:

Movie date at my house, but we use pirated sites and spend all night closing pop-ups.

Live now on Messenger:

My guardian angel is probably preoccupied with sports betting apps and generative AI, that’s why she’s letting all these bad things happen to me.

Just landed via Pinterest:

You give a man your heart and he’s gonna put it under another girl’s picture.

Just landed via TikTok:

I’m only an introvert until I meet people worth extroverting with.

Seen just now on TikTok:

If you have a Roomba, but don’t dress it up in little outfits, then what are you even doing?

Trending via Twitch:

“Do you have any hobbies?” Lately, I’ve been really into panicking.

Going bananas on Threads:

Being completely ignored on Twitter is associated with higher IQ.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Flossed the day before a dentist appointment like I was cramming for a history test.

Shared recently on Reddit:

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

With my staggering 91% survival rate, you’d be a fool to hire another dog sitter.

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