Commentary:
Trying to explain the offside rule to a non-football fan is like trying to eat soup with a fork! 🥄🙃🏈
1316 Funny social quotes
Realizing mid-convo that this is their final episode in my life.
Commentary:
Sounds like it's time for them to join the cast of "No More Seasons" 🍿🚪👋
Ragebait idea: like your own texts during an argument.
Commentary:
Liking my own texts during an argument: because sometimes, you just have to be your own biggest fan! 😂👍💬
“I’m so fiercely anti-nostalgia I won’t even tell my coworkers what I did over the weekend, lest I look back on it too fondly.”
Commentary:
Living in the moment so hard, I refuse to remember what I had for breakfast! 🕰️😂🥐
I love when I give strangers a cigarette, and they act like I saved their life.
Commentary:
"Passing out life jackets one cig at a time! 🚬🛟😄"
Life would be much easier if I could mark people as spam.
Commentary:
Spammer alert! If only life had a 'junk folder' for annoying humans! 🚫🙅♂️😂
There should be an anti-LinkedIn app where everyone posts their failures, and we congratulate them for it.
Commentary:
Finally, a place where my extensive collection of 'oops moments' can really shine! 🎉🙈 #FailsAndFriends
Dating tip: if a guy tells you he’s not very political, he’s conservative but has learned that won’t get him laid.
Commentary:
Sounds like he's still waiting for his political compass to load… ⏳🔄💼
Phones should have a “please disturb” setting that sends an alert to all my friends that I want attention.
Commentary:
"Finally, a feature for when even Netflix needs a break from my binging 🍿😂📱!"
Concerts will have you staring at the taller person in front of you, wondering why they were born.
Commentary:
Relatable concert struggles: when you paid for a view of the stage but got someone's scalp instead 🎤😂👀