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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

I have the patience of a nearly ripe avocado.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Sugar held my hand through every breakup.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Aren’t you a little old to be a bully?

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

At this point, I’m rooting for the aliens.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but throw away your disgusting dish sponge.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

I alway get the same thing every year for Christmas. Fat!

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Thank you all for attending my final rose ceremony. There will be no roses.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Googling what ASAP means, and having a panic attack.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Many of you need to put “lighten up” on your resolutions list.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Crying at my desk while also finding time to cry in the shower makes for a healthy work-life balance.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Jan 11, 2026

3,424

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

A song that hits so hard it makes you want a cigarette.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I got so lost there for a minute (several years).

Just shared via Messenger:

I’m not well rested. Sleeping Beauty was well rested.

Just shared via Twitch:

There are no adults in the room. The cavalry is not coming. Everything was built by people no smarter than you.

Breaking via YouTube:

I’m equally comfortable holding a guitar as I am holding a baby, I just hold them both by the neck.

Making waves on TikTok:

When I said you had a “serial killer face” I had meant it as a compliment. Like, you look like you are very ambitious is what I meant.

Just shared via Telegram:

I like smoke and lightning, your honor, heavy metal thunder, racing with the wind. You know that feeling I am under.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Does the HDMI cord have the most dominant run of any cord ever?

Just landed via Twitch:

Please text me back. I’m about to start making stuff up in my head, and the stuff is all bad.

Trending via Pinterest:

Sleeping is nice, because you’re not actually dead and you’re not awake, so its a win-win situation.

Hardly a day goes by without me being reminded that an academic degree has nothing to do with intelligence.

2 months ago

Hardly a day goes by without me being reminded that an academic degree has nothing to do with intelligence.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic case of being book smart but not street smart! 📚🧠 Who knew that some of life's most important lessons can't be found in a textbook? 🤔 Maybe next time we'll skip the diploma and opt for a crash course in common sense instead! 😅"

academic, being, day, degree, humor, intelligence, me, nothing, reminder

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I received a DM telling me that I’ve offended some of you. I’m truly sorry; I meant to offend all of you.

2 months ago

apology, communication, DM, humor, i, me, meant, media, offend, offended, offense, sarcasm, social, social media, sorry, telling, truly
If you have ever spent an hour on Twitter then you understand why there’s such an urgency to create Artificial Intelligence.

2 months ago

artificial, artificial intelligence, ever, hour, humor, intelligence, internet, media, social, social media, spent, technology, time, Twitter, understand, understanding, urgency
Somewhere, a therapist you never met knows about you.

1 month ago

humor, knows, met, never, psychology, secret, somewhere, therapist, unknown
Let the example of my fluke success guide nearly all of you to crushing disappointment.

2 months ago

disappointment, example, failure, guide, humor, humor quote, irony, let, motivation, sarcasm, success
Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

3 months ago

alien, among, funny observation, humor, i, interaction, live, living, living among, me, observation, people, social, social interaction, undetected
People drive you insane and then say “see, I told you that you’re insane.”

2 months ago

drive, humor, i, insane, irony, people, psychology, relationships, say, told

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on X this month:

Life is so exciting. I was in my bedroom and now I’m in the living room. Who knows where I’ll go next.

99 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t need the web for attention, I jog in a wedding dress.

83 shares on Messenger this month:

Apparently, “spite” is not an appropriate answer to “What motivates you?”

50 shares on X this month:

Sometimes I delete a post because I remember I’m too old for it.

83 shares on Twitch this month:

Why do Marvel movies need 3 hours to accomplish what The Powerpuff Girls did in 11 minutes?

98 shares on X this month:

I do not like how Netflix threatens to start the movie while I’m just tryna read the description. Like, please, you’re making me anxious.

73 shares on Snapchat this month:

Adulting in 3 words: it’s always something.

37 shares on WeChat this month:

I have a lot in common with AI. We occasionally provide incorrect information with a confident tone.

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

Being in love will have you put your pride aside and go to places you never thought you would, like New Jersey.

38 shares on TikTok this month:

I want the dreams to chase me for once.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

They all cheat, lie and manipulate. Just pick the pretty one.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

We are so shocked by “Butthead” that we ignore the strangeness of the name “Beavis”.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The best thing about dogs is you can act like something really good just happened, and they’ll instantly start celebrating too. They have no idea what the context is; they’re just always ready to party, no matter what.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Petition to change the name of rice cakes to something else as they are 100% rice and 0% cake and I’m tired of all the gaslighting.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when people stare at me and don’t say anything. I mean, if you want an autograph or a picture just ask.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If overthinking burned calories, I’d never need to exercise again.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Cloud 9 is a very high place to fall from.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Make sure you stock up on condoms, so you don’t produce any more idiots.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s something so romantic about getting McDonald’s with a lover. Intimate perhaps.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

A pessimist is just an optimist playing hard to get.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,250

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face, but with words.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

I was actually doing so well until your email found me.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

I think everyone should get $500 deposited into their accounts every day, just for waking up.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

I never forget to eat, but I do eat to forget.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Hey, you should start your own business and then mind it.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

This year I’d like an advent calendar with 24 different tranquilizers.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

My friend and I had a running joke. She said, “Let’s do a marathon,” and then we both laughed.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

I’m ready to try another planet.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Refusing to make eye contact with anyone while I eat my banana.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

You want to know how old you really feel? Stop drinking caffeine and popping Ibuprofen. Then, just wait.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Plants are like “I’ll have a light lunch.”

Seen just now on Slack:

Crazy how people can merge perfectly at McDonald’s, but not on the highway.

Trending via TikTok:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so eat that cake today.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Normalize asking if this is an intervention whenever someone invites you over.

Spotted on Instagram:

A dating app for people who are way too into cookies, called Crumble.

Making waves on Discord:

What’s my net worth? Buddy, I don’t own a net.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Sex is like my hair. I didn’t have any yesterday. I didn’t have any today. And unless something drastically changes, I won’t have any tomorrow.

Just shared via X:

This year for Thanksgiving, I’ll probably bring what I brought last year… shame upon the family.

Seen just now on X:

Establish dominance by asking your dentist if he’s flossing everyday.

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