Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

My daughter says I’m making it up! Do you remember having to carry a quarter for the payphone, just in case?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Deleting dating apps because I want to meet someone the old fashioned way (he and his donkey rescue me from a tower guarded by a dragon).

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Prison pen pal doesn’t want us to write each other anymore. Finds my life too depressing.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

When you have intense chemistry with someone, everyone else feels so bleh.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Steve Jobs was a vibe coder. He just prompted Steve Wozniak.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

In the baking aisle, booing everyone buying imitation vanilla extract.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

A tip for your next salary negotiation: simply tell your boss “either I get a pay rise or I go out and tell everyone I got one!”

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

People just don’t build cities on rock and roll anymore.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Some people stay in the past because that’s where they peaked.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

I hated rats even before my girlfriend left me for one.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

301 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,570

Funny Quotes Topics

17,628

Funny Quotes Images

15,570

Jan 12, 2026

3,362

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

Hey there, Delilah, what’s it like in new orc city?

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Sometimes I read a text and think, “What a psycho.” And then I press send.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

You know those lines you see painted on parking lots? I know this will come as a shock to some of you, but you’re supposed to park between them.

Seen just now on Slack:

Podcasts are like babies, they’re too easy to create and not everyone should have one.

Going bananas on X:

Can we bring back the lost art of just hanging out at your friends house doing absolutely nothing?

Broadcasted on X:

Nobody has ever been more surprised than a husband hearing about his wife’s plans for the second time.

Live now on Twitch:

You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

Making waves on X:

Imagine playing Truth or Dare and they dare you to go home.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I should’ve existed as a tree.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Some things are better left unsaid, unless you’re on X.

Hardly a day goes by without me being reminded that an academic degree has nothing to do with intelligence.

2 months ago

Hardly a day goes by without me being reminded that an academic degree has nothing to do with intelligence.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic case of being book smart but not street smart! 📚🧠 Who knew that some of life's most important lessons can't be found in a textbook? 🤔 Maybe next time we'll skip the diploma and opt for a crash course in common sense instead! 😅"

academic, being, day, degree, humor, intelligence, me, nothing, reminder

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Old age is like a glorious, extended long weekend, but you always know Monday’s coming.

2 months ago

age, aging, aging humor, always, coming, extended, humor, humor about aging, know, life, life perspective, Monday, old, old age, perspective, retirement, weekend
There’s never a good place to clip your toenails at the library.

2 months ago

awkward, awkward situations, clip, funny moments, good, grooming, humor, library, moments, never, place, public, public space, situations, space, toenails
Monsters can’t hide under my bed. That’s where my cats have their fight club.

2 months ago

bed, cat, cats, childhood, club, fight, fight club, hide, humor, imagination, monster, monsters, pet, where
I don’t mind driving in bad weather. I mind other people driving in bad weather.

2 months ago

annoyance, bad, bad weather, driving, humor, i, mind, people, road, road safety, safety, traffic, weather
It’s like ten thousand views when all you need is a like.

2 months ago

engagement, frustration, humor, media, metrics, need, popularity, social, social media, ten, views
Slim Shady implies the existence of Thicc Sunny.

2 months ago

character, contrast, existence, humor, parody, shady, slim, Slim Shady, sunny, thicc, Thicc Sunny, wordplay

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on Twitch this month:

Gordon Ramsay is only funny because he’s not talking to me like that.

74 shares on Slack this month:

Men can stay up til 2 a.m., wake up at 6, be in debt, broke, alone, and still have faith that one day, everything will work out. It’s called being a man.

87 shares on Facebook this month:

Acceptance truly begins when you ask Alexa to play classic rock and she plays a song that came out when you were in high school.

94 shares on Instagram this month:

“Each to their own!” Translation: You’re wrong, but never mind.

65 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Imagining how cathartic it must feel to send forth thousands and thousands of bats from your Transylvanian manor.

33 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I like it when you’re reading a comic and you can tell the writer is pissed about what the last writer did to the character.

97 shares on Pinterest this month:

Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

11 shares on Facebook this month:

When I say, “I have to be someplace,” what I mean is, “I want to go home.”

19 shares on Facebook this month:

I had 99 problems but getting divorced solved 98 of them.

37 shares on Telegram this month:

It’s important to listen to both sides of the debate because you need to hear both the reality of the situation and also the dumbest thing anyone’s ever said.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m like a candle: I’m cute, I smell nice, and there’s a pretty good chance I’ll set your curtains on fire if left unattended.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

When I tell a joke that doesn’t land, I follow up with a worse one to make my audience realize how good they had it with the first joke.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My brain logged me out due to inactivity, and I can’t remember the password.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

What if i just replied “not now kitten daddy’s busy” to all my work emails?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is fun because you can tweet about hashbrowns and someone will say you are responsible for genocide.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag but this cashier is checking me out.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Why trust atoms? Because they’ve never been caught fibbing, just fission.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Defeating imposter syndrome by actually being incompetent.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The main cause of immigration is we’re still a country where people want to go, but we’re working on fixing that.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

301 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,570

Funny Quotes Topics

17,628

Funny Quotes Images

15,570

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,410

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

In search of someone who loves me as much as I love my snooze button.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Hey kid, wanna hear a scary story? One day, you will be able to do whatever you want, and you will choose to stay home alone.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Porn actresses envy the look on my face when I clean my ear with a cotton bud.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Commenting “AI slop” under pictures of my friends’ kids opening presents.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

When you really want to slap someone, do it and say, “Mosquito!

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

I appreciate the interest, but I’m officially removing myself from the running to be the next James Bond. Thank you for your understanding.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And they were correct. Honestly, great call from the haters.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Anyone know how to grow a money tree?

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

People who remember to drink water, what’s that like?

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on YouTube:

I’ve started eating healthier and exercising if you’re wondering why I’m in such a crappy mood all of a sudden.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Not sure what’s longer: a microwave minute or watching a video while someone else is holding the phone, insisting it’s hilarious.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Lucky for me, I don’t have enough friends for an intervention.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Pretty sure the guy in front of me at McDonald’s ordered the rest of the food.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Showering at night is so sexy and clean and self-care vibes. Showering in the morning is so productivity core, cog in the machine core.

Just landed via Telegram:

Interviewer: Give an example of a difficult scenario and how you handled it. Me: I poured a bowl of cereal but had no milk, so I used ice cream.

Going viral on YouTube:

How do you react when you see someone you respect on an e-scooter?

Just shared via TikTok:

“That’s an interesting take,” I say, not listening.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

January is the Monday of the year.

Making waves on Twitch:

Movie date at my house, but we use pirated sites and spend all night closing pop-ups.

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