Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Your honor, I object! Taking someone's last fry is a serious offense punishable by a lifelong ban from all future fry-sharing sessions 🍟⚖️ Let the record show that this crime against potato goodness shall not go unpunished!"

court, food, fry, honor, humor, last, snack, theft

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You know you’ve mastered marriage when you shout to your husband, “Take the thing off the thing,” and he immediately knows what to do.

0

2 months ago

advice, communication, humor, husband, know, knows, marriage, marriage advice, mastery, relationship, shout, take, thing, understanding
I bet when you invited me to Thanksgiving dinner you didn’t think I’d stay this long.

0

2 months ago

bet, dinner, guest, humor, i, ID, invite, invited, me, stay, Thanksgiving, think
The real challenge of adulthood is figuring out what to eat every day.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, challenge, daily, daily routine, day, decision, decision making, eat, eating, every, humor, life, life struggle, making, real, routine, struggle
If I’m not spoken to, my morning grumpiness goes almost unnoticed.

0

2 months ago

grumpiness, humor, morning, spoken, unnoticed, unspoken
Memories are a bit fuzzy – but regrets? They’re in 8K and Dolby Vision.

0

2 months ago

8K, bit, clarity, dolby, Dolby Vision, fuzzy, humor, memory, nostalgia, regrets, technology, vision
Awkwardly stares into the abyss in between meetings.

0

2 months ago

abyss, anxiety, awkwardness, break, existential, humor, meetings, office, social, social anxiety, stares, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Discord this month:

You’re never too old to become less of an idiot.

56 shares on Slack this month:

Potatoes make French fries, chips and vodka. It’s like the other vegetables aren’t even trying.

37 shares on X this month:

Me driving at night: I hope this is the road!

28 shares on Twitch this month:

What a bleak life it must be if you’ve never had a drink shoot through your nose when you laugh.

48 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Coming back to your own bed after a few days away is peak coziness.

100 shares on Threads this month:

Some Uber rides in NYC are the same price as a JetBlue flight to Miami.

53 shares on Discord this month:

I hate it when I take a picture of myself and see 20 years of bad eating habits and no exercise.

66 shares on Reddit this month:

Two reasons you never date at work: 1. HR frowns upon it. 2. Your partner gets super pissed.

82 shares on Messenger this month:

If you put a pizza on top of a pizza, you have two pizzas. But if you stack two lasagnas, then you still have one lasagna.

10 shares on YouTube this month:

Ain’t no way there’s billions of us and nobody got superpowers.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Adulting’s a total scam. Bills, taxes, and a laundry pile that breeds in the dark, were not in the brochure!

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Hey (with the intention of going to sleep).

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

The difference between a songbird and a hummingbird is that one of them knows the lyrics.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Female dragonflies will fake their own deaths to avoid mating with unwanted males. They are like, “Ugh, here comes Carl again. Play dead, girl!“

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Me, with $33 left after paying bills: Let’s see how much a Land Rover costs.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Sometimes somebody will share something from way back in my timeline, and I’ll think, “Oh God, what all did they see to get there?”

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

I don’t need Halloween. I have strange characters around me all year round.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Have you ever noticed that when you step on someone’s foot, they open their mouth? It’s like a folding trash can.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Adulthood will turn Gmail into part of your social media routine.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Messenger:

When my nudes go to the cloud, I always hope God is impressed.

Live now on Instagram:

In search of someone who loves me as much as I love my snooze button.

Just shared via WeChat:

If you keep your AC any higher than 75, please don’t invite me to your terrarium, you lizard.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Just a friendly reminder folks. Don’t forget to set back your rooster this weekend.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Doggystyle, so we can both look at the river.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Remember when we had to smack the TV because the channel wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about far too many people.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

There should be guide dogs that prevent you from making bad decisions.

Just shared via Discord:

Losing jewelry is a different type of hurt.

Going viral on Discord:

Me: Hello, darkness, my old friend. Darkness: I have a boyfriend.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Wanna go back to my place and meow at each other?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

He took my last fry, your honor.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

You know you’ve mastered marriage when you shout to your husband, “Take the thing off the thing,” and he immediately knows what to do.

I bet when you invited me to Thanksgiving dinner you didn’t think I’d stay this long.

The real challenge of adulthood is figuring out what to eat every day.

If I’m not spoken to, my morning grumpiness goes almost unnoticed.

Memories are a bit fuzzy – but regrets? They’re in 8K and Dolby Vision.

Awkwardly stares into the abyss in between meetings.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨