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Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal question of bathroom hide-and-seek during family gatherings 🚽🙈 Remember, timing is key! Just make sure you don't emerge with a full-blown beard, or they might start to worry 😂 #BathroomEscapeArtist"

allowed, bathroom, escape, family, hide, humor, time, visits

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

What’s wrong, babe? You’ve hardly touched my mixed signals.

2 months ago
babe, communication, confusion, dating, humor, love, mixed, mixed signal, relationship, sarcasm, signal, signals, wrong
We are all just prisoners here of our phone device.

1 month ago
device, distraction, here, humor, just, life, modern, modern life, phone, prisoner, technology
I prefer my weighted blanket in human form.

1 month ago
blanket, comfort, form, human, human form, humor, i, preferences, relaxation, weighted, weighted blanket
All these galaxies and planets, and we ended up on the one with 40 hour work weeks.

1 month ago
40, daily, daily life, galaxy, hour, humor, irony, life, planet, planets, satire, universe, week, weeks, work, work week
You should be able to wash your hair and it stays washed. What do you mean I have to do it again?

2 weeks ago
able, again, daily, daily routine, frustration, hair, humor, i, mean, routine, should, wash, washing
I have almost 100,000 miles on my office chair. So I got that going for me.

1 month ago
achievement, chair, comfort, going, humor, i, life, me, miles, office, office chair, productivity, sitting, work, work life

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Amazing how fast my addiction to my phone is cured the moment I get a phone call.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

If you show her you care, she will keep you as a spare.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

How come all the single people don’t need no one, and all the married ones need two?

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Airports should have tattoo parlors for those of us with long layovers and poor impulse control.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

You couldn’t pay me to do this year again.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Don’t be alarmed at my semicolon usage; I’m a professional.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Can anyone recommend some good behaviors for someone who just started behaving?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

Accidentally said “normal” when they asked what milk I wanted at the leftist cafe.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Adulthood will turn Gmail into part of your social media routine.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Hello! I’m Britain’s greatest spy and my catchphrase is: I tell you my real surname, then my real forename, then my real surname again, in case you missed it.

Just landed via X:

Day number 3 without coffee: Lost hearing in my left eye.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I’m at that point in my life where if a car hit me, I’d probably say thank you to the kind stranger.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Have a good weekend, unless you have other plans.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

If we’re living in a dystopian nightmare, where the hell is my housekeeping robot?

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Activity Log ✨

How long are you allowed to hide in the bathroom during family visits?

What’s wrong, babe? You’ve hardly touched my mixed signals.

We are all just prisoners here of our phone device.

I prefer my weighted blanket in human form.

All these galaxies and planets, and we ended up on the one with 40 hour work weeks.

You should be able to wash your hair and it stays washed. What do you mean I have to do it again?

I have almost 100,000 miles on my office chair. So I got that going for me.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Call me a glitch, cause I’m definitely messing with your system.

Only mosquitoes find me attractive. Nobody else.

The best part about filling out doctor appointment forms online is when you get there and they say “hello, please fill out these forms!”

You can say “Have a nice day,” no problem, but saying “Enjoy the next 24 hours” sounds vaguely threatening.

I stay away from beef-flavored cat food. At no point could Sylvia realistically bring down a cow, and I don’t need that kind of ego in the house.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Love it when my brain is like, “You forgot something,” and then refuses to elaborate.

Cheesecake dislikers are attention seekers.

Where does everyone go to get kisses? I haven’t figured this out yet.

I don’t understand the phrase “You can’t have your cake and eat it” because if I have cake, what the hell else am I supposed to do with it.

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a break after sending one email.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she won’t notice. Call her fat once and she will never forget. That’s because elephants never forget.

Christmas combines two things I love the most, getting fat and lying to children.

Together, I can beat schizophrenia.

If we get invaded by space aliens, I am immediately defecting to the alien side. Sorry.

Just when you’ve built some confidence that you’re a smarter than average human, universe sends you captcha.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Hot girl in her 20s: It’s so weird, but I keep getting lucky, and everything works out in my favor.

I believe it was Aristotle who once said “The fastest way to get your kids to stop screaming is to also start screaming.”

Don’t worry. Artificial intelligence will never replace actual ignorance.

I bet the kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were surprised when found out their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

To anybody who thinks being self-employed means you don’t have to work for a boss you hate, I have terrible news.

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How long are you allowed to hide in the bathroom during family visits?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

What’s wrong, babe? You’ve hardly touched my mixed signals.

We are all just prisoners here of our phone device.

I prefer my weighted blanket in human form.

All these galaxies and planets, and we ended up on the one with 40 hour work weeks.

You should be able to wash your hair and it stays washed. What do you mean I have to do it again?

I have almost 100,000 miles on my office chair. So I got that going for me.

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