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Commentary:
🌟 "Who needs a stunt double when you've got the adrenaline rush of a nighttime bathroom mission? It's a suspenseful journey filled with unexpected obstacles like rogue furniture and ninja cat attacks! 🚽💫 Just call me the Bathroom Ninja!" 🦸‍♂️ #MidnightAdventure #StuntDoubleNeeded

bathroom, double, humor, i, navigating, need, night, stunt

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I have a yearning disability.

1 month ago
disability, humor, i, longing, wit, yearning
Might mess around and reply, “That sounds like a you problem,” to every work email today.

4 months ago
around, communication, email, every, frustration, humor, life, mess, message, office, office life, problem, reply, sarcasm, sounds, today, work, work email
No one is excited to see me in shorts except mosquitoes.

1 month ago
awkward, awkward moments, except, excited, humor, me, moments, mosquit, outdoor, self-deprecation, shorts, summer
My therapist said I should face my fears. So I turned my phone back on.

1 month ago
anxiety, back, face, fear, fears, humor, i, phone, procrastination, said, should, therapist, therapy, turned
I was gonna get on the treadmill, but then the couch will get sad.

1 month ago
couch, exercise, humor, i, laziness, procrastination, sad, treadmill
Even a broken shrimp fries rice twice a day.

1 month ago
absurdity, broken, cooking, day, even, food, fry, humor, irony, rice, shrimp, twice

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Sorry, can’t. I’m too busy growing new neural pathways to make space for a stranger’s opinion. Evolution takes bandwidth, man.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Social media has given everyone a chance to be heard, and it was a gigantic mistake.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Dear Aliens, Now would be a good time. Thanks!

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

If I were an organ, I’d fail.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Psychiatry is crazy because they’re just like… Oh, you’re really depressed? Would being on a pill that makes you fat help?

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

First caveman to see fire: Well, this is a buncha bullshit that no one needs (stomps it out) and I predict that’s the last I’ll ever see of that.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

I know Jesus was a carpenter, but I think he would’ve been a better plumber, you know, with the water thing.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

Halloween pumpkins look even scarier if you just use the ones from last year.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Going to a DaBaby concert because I need some alone time, and I know no one else will be there.

Broadcasted on Slack:

But if I get tinted windows, how will people see me flipping them off?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

If you’re looking for a quiet place to talk to yourself, my DMs are open.

Shared recently on YouTube:

At least life has music.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I’m not lazy, I’m an inactivist.

Spotted on Slack:

I’m perfectly approachable as long as you’re carrying a plate of nachos.

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I need a stunt double for when I’m navigating my way to the bathroom at night.

I have a yearning disability.

Might mess around and reply, “That sounds like a you problem,” to every work email today.

No one is excited to see me in shorts except mosquitoes.

My therapist said I should face my fears. So I turned my phone back on.

I was gonna get on the treadmill, but then the couch will get sad.

Even a broken shrimp fries rice twice a day.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Having a bathroom switch outside a bathroom and a sibling is a bad combination.

Was complaining to my mom about my daughter’s attitude and she told me I should’ve named her payback.

I’m going to become more attractive or more delusional; I haven’t decided yet.

That very depressing moment when you find out the fire alarm that went off at work was just a test.

Ever since I was young, I knew I wanted to be online nonstop.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I drive like I’m immortal.

If you want people to have kind words when you pass, you should say kind words when you’re alive.

Just did several sets of some bullshit at the gym… no idea which muscles have been targeted.

The fact it costs $15 to get a basic meal at a fast-food restaurant now is comical.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Shy with a mean resting face is a crazy combo.

I miss when there were so many episodes of every show that they all eventually did one where it was hot, and the air conditioning went out.

Every email sent to me should end with ‘but if your tummy is hurting, don’t worry about it.’

Sunday is proof that time travel exists, because it was just Friday.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Alexa, take responsibility for my actions.

The next James Bond should be weird. Like he wears a train conductor’s hat and is afraid of balloons.

When a lady compliments your facial hair, have the goddamn decency to compliment hers.

Unpopular opinion: The moon is actually way more useful than the sun. Because the moon gives us light at night when it’s dark. The sun only gives us light during the day when it’s already bright.

I love going “Streets are saying” before I say something I literally just made up.

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I need a stunt double for when I’m navigating my way to the bathroom at night.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I have a yearning disability.

Might mess around and reply, “That sounds like a you problem,” to every work email today.

No one is excited to see me in shorts except mosquitoes.

My therapist said I should face my fears. So I turned my phone back on.

I was gonna get on the treadmill, but then the couch will get sad.

Even a broken shrimp fries rice twice a day.

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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