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New funny quotes: 7507 this month

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Updated: May 23, 2026

 

 

 

 

20 Funny double quotes

Funny double quotes are the perfect way to add a splash of humor 😄 and a dash of wit 📝 to your day! Whether you’re sharing laughs with friends or spicing up your posts 📱, these clever sayings bring smiles and giggles galore 😂. Ready to brighten your timeline with some playful word magic? Let’s dive into the world of hilarious double quotes that never fail to entertain! 🎉✨

I need a stunt double for when I’m navigating my way to the bathroom at night.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

You’re supposed to store a treasure in your cleavage that’s why it’s called a chest.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

People say opposites attract, but I say find a partner who’s deranged in the same ways you are and double your capacity to be annoying.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

My dentist plays country music, so it’s like a double torture.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

If the zombie apocalypse happens we’re double screwed because there are millions on record as having no brain.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

The worst part about being drunk and seeing double is when you realize it’s just one slice of pizza.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

The quickest way to double your money is to hold it in front of a mirror.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

You’ll pay good money to hear a comedian say something offensive, but when I say it for free, I’m the bad guy.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

People out here living double lives, and I’m barely even holding a single life together.

Posted onMar 31, 2026

I be like, “Awwwww cows,” and then go and eat two double cheeseburgers, lol.

Posted onMar 31, 2026

Reverse cowgirl, so we can both address the elephant in the room.

Posted onMar 30, 2026

What base is it when he says, “I know you need it badly,” but he’s talking about sleep?

Posted onMar 30, 2026

Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.

Posted onMar 30, 2026

It’s quite ironic that “strap on,” backwards, spells “no parts.”

Posted onMar 30, 2026

Reverse cowgirl so he doesn’t see the double chin.

Posted onMar 30, 2026

Friendly reminder that double negatives are a big no-no.

Posted onMar 29, 2026

Everyone’s gangsta until they spot a double rainbow in the sky.

Posted onMar 29, 2026

Don’t drink to forget me, you’ll end up seeing me double.

Posted onMar 29, 2026

Double chins are better than double faces.

Posted onMar 27, 2026

When Hulk wrecks shit he’s “incredible.” When I do it I’m “causing a scene” and “need to leave this place immediately.”

Posted onMar 27, 2026

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