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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Floating on a rock in space, but yeah – 9 to 5 sounds reasonable.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Me, telling my kids we’re leaving in 30 minutes: We’re leaving in 5 minutes.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Do you ever think about how many people squeezed the avocado that you’re eating?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

You gotta wonder why they just don’t make all bread garlic bread.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Why are so many people going everywhere whenever I have to go anywhere?

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Summer Olympics is just me swimming in sweat and wrestling with my sports bra.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Lord of the Rings is wild cause Gandalf told Frodo he had to go on a super dangerous journey and Frodo was like “Ok, can I bring my gardener?”

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

I have a very particular set of useless skills.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Whenever I’m with real yappers, I realize I might actually be a listener.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m going to get some steel wool so I can crochet myself a new car.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

817 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,979

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,979

53 minutes ago

3,418

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

If I ever experience an earthquake, my first thought will probably be it’s Godzilla.

Breaking via YouTube:

Sorry I can’t carpool to work. That’s the time I use to angry scream.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor’s dog.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Love is in the air, but so is the flu. Wash your hands!

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Picking up women at the bar and then gently setting them down.

Just shared via X:

Pesto is just an Italian word that means “produced by pounding”, so in a way we are all pesto.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Keep your temper. Nobody else wants it.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I love all mythical creatures. Vampires, werewolves, unicorns, kids who listen.

Going viral on Facebook:

The best proof that fairy tales are fictional is the fact that the prince is always an intelligent and handsome single man.

Just landed via TikTok:

I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

I need to consult the woods about this.

4 months ago

I need to consult the woods about this.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🌳🤔 "When you're stuck on a decision, why not seek some advice from the wise old trees? They've been around for ages and have probably seen it all. Plus, they're great listeners – just make sure you're okay with getting sap as a response. Who knows, the answer might just be written in the leaves!" 🍃✨

advice, consult, humor, i, nature, need, woods

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

817 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,979

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,979

53 minutes ago

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

My brain logged me out due to inactivity, and I can’t remember the password.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Happiness is when you really have nothing to do with people you want absolutely nothing to do with.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

I wanna date someone cuter than me, but sadly I am the cutest.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

The title of my autobiography is going to be ‘You’d Think I’d Learn By Now, But Nope.’

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Tornados are just a bunch of ghosts fighting over a cow.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Taking a dog named shark to the beach is a bad idea.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

I’m proud to announce that am winning my fight against sobriety.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Hey, wanna intertwine delusions and make them a reality or nah?

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

I would like even faster food.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Stop wasting your money on beauty products. The secret to looking young is to wear a baseball cap with a propeller on it.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on X:

If you burned CDs for the car so your original copies wouldn’t get scratched, it’s time to schedule your colonoscopy.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

What we need is more companies making hot sauce. I need 900 more ways to taste a thing that tastes exactly like all the other ones.

Just shared via Messenger:

Shazam, but for whatever the hell goes on in the apartment upstairs.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I’ve got a neighbor who’s really into morons. I should introduce her to you guys.

Shared recently on Discord:

Women are like apples; I like biting them.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today. I need the blood of my enemies.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

There are risks you take when camping: severe weather, wild animals, someone bringing an acoustic guitar.

Just shared via Twitch:

And for my next trick, I’m going to make this first date the last date.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Gonna start an app for cat sitters where they can review the cats they take care of and it’ll be called Litterboxd.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I hate when I offer someone food and they accept it.

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