Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Seems like procrastination is the key to immortality!⏳😂 Who knew deadlines were actually the secret to everlasting life?⏱️💀 #ForeverProcrastinating"

deadline, die, finish, humor, i, life, motivation, never, procrastination, specific, task

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My phone is like my lover, it’s the last thing I see at night, and the first thing I wake up to every morning.

0

2 months ago

attachment, i, last, lover, morning, night, phone, relationship, routine, technology, thing, wake
Hey girl, are you an extraterrestrial? ’Cause your husband’s out here acting like you don’t exist.

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2 months ago

acting, cause, exist, extraterrestrial, girl, here, humor, humorous, humorous observation, husband, jealousy, observation, relationship, social, social humor, wife
Don’t rub your happiness in people’s faces this Valentine’s Day. Let the couples enjoy themselves for once.

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2 months ago

celebration, couples, day, enjoy, happiness, humor, irony, let, love, once, relationships, single, valentine’s, Valentine’s Day
A dating app for people who are shy called Mumble.

0

2 months ago

app, dating, dating app, humor, interaction, introvert, mumble, people, relationships, shy, social, social interaction, technology
Another year? But the last one got such bad reviews.

0

2 days ago

anniversary, another, bad, complaint, got, humor, joke, last, review, reviews, sarcasm, time, year
Do mens sneezes get louder and louder as they age until they explode?

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2 months ago

age, explode, humor, loud, men, sneeze, sound

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on Telegram this month:

One week without chocolate. I can no longer hear anything in my left eye.

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

When I tell you “I’m open to feedback” I’m telling you to be nice to me or I’ll resort to violence.

86 shares on Facebook this month:

Santa keeps a pair of mounted antlers over his fireplace to keep the reindeer from unionizing.

89 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m not drunk enough for this Teams meeting.

73 shares on Snapchat this month:

Genuinely, why does the logo of every AI chatbot look like a butthole?

45 shares on Snapchat this month:

Optimist: The glass is ½ full. Pessimist: The glass is ½ empty. Excel: The glass is January 2nd.

30 shares on YouTube this month:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk calmly to the lock. We all know that communication is the key.

75 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight. Now I pick up a fork and gain seven pounds.

95 shares on Telegram this month:

That little stroll to the coffee maker makes me happy every morning.

16 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Only thing that can cure my depression is $500 million.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Sex is cool but have you ever had a king size bed all to yourself.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Today, I noticed that the cover of my ironing board was wrinkled, and I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because of the word “irony.”

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

I’m one group chat away from vanishing into the woods to befriend forest creatures.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

If you have any questions or concerns please don’t. Hesitate to ask.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

You haven’t experienced proper anger until you have a sister.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

An easy way to check if you’re attractive: send a “Hey” DM and see if they reply.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Don’t be sad, laundry, nobody’s doing me either.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

I know my limits. I don’t always obey them, but I know them.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Haven’t seen a single bikini photoshoot in the snow this year; the girls are tired.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I talk to myself in the same condescending tone, so you’re not special.

Just shared via Discord:

I always need to pee, but it’s just because my heart is so big it pushes on my bladder.

Making waves on Slack:

School reunion is a scam… nobody is missing anyone, they just want to know whether you have made it in life or not.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Sometimes you need to turn the music up louder and sort your shit out.

Just shared via Twitch:

I don’t make mistakes, I date them.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Sure the Lego botanical sets are great but dusting them is another story.

Going viral on Pinterest:

When I was a kid, we still ate noodles. Then at some point we ate pasta. Today, we only eat carbs.

Making waves on Instagram:

Girl, are you an Uber driver? Because you are driving me to drink.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Satan: “Would you please stop sacrificing animals to me. I’m not running a zoo down here.”

Making waves on WeChat:

If you don’t fall in love with me, I’ll write poetry about you and then you’ll regret it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I probably never die because I don’t finish anything without a specific deadline.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My phone is like my lover, it’s the last thing I see at night, and the first thing I wake up to every morning.

Hey girl, are you an extraterrestrial? ’Cause your husband’s out here acting like you don’t exist.

Don’t rub your happiness in people’s faces this Valentine’s Day. Let the couples enjoy themselves for once.

A dating app for people who are shy called Mumble.

Another year? But the last one got such bad reviews.

Do mens sneezes get louder and louder as they age until they explode?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨