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Commentary:
"Seems like procrastination is the key to immortality!⏳😂 Who knew deadlines were actually the secret to everlasting life?⏱️💀 #ForeverProcrastinating"

deadline, die, finish, humor, i, life, motivation, never, procrastination, specific, task

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

We need a true crime show called Downtown Stabby.

0

2 months ago

comedy, crime, downtown, Downtown Stabby, humor, need, satire, show, stabby, television, true, true crime
Years of personal growth can be unraveled in 2 days at your parents’ house.

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7 days ago

2, days, family, family visit, growth, home, house, humor, life, parents, personal, personal growth, regression, visit
I’m at the age where I’m more likely to fall asleep at the movie theater than get frisky in one.

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4 weeks ago

age, asleep, fall, fall asleep, frisky, humor, movie, movie theater, relationship, theater, where
Short men store so much anger in their little body.

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2 months ago

anger, body, comedy, humor, little, men, much, short, short men, size, store
Single in the womb, single till the tomb!

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2 months ago

humor, life, loneliness, relationships, single, tomb, womb
I love unfollowing people. You have displeased me for the last time. Leave my sight.

0

2 months ago

breakup, displeasure, frustration, humor, i, last, leave, love, me, media, people, sight, social, social media, time, unfollowing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Facebook this month:

That sound when you close the cupboard and hear something fall inside, that’s the sound of somebody else’s problem.

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you find me offensive, then I suggest you quit finding me.

25 shares on Snapchat this month:

Remember that your face is literally a combination of hundreds of generations of people who fell in love!

85 shares on Discord this month:

If I ever die on some hill, rest assured, something fishy is going on.

21 shares on X this month:

I giggle before I go crazy. Gotta start my engine.

22 shares on YouTube this month:

Remember, when asking for a raise, it is considered customary to be sober.

75 shares on Messenger this month:

I love that the entire economy is just different types of scams now.

98 shares on TikTok this month:

My mayor is Muslim, my bagels are Jewish, my Dior is Christian.

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Why spend like $300 Dollars on a pair of shoes? Do you know how many chicken nuggets you can buy with that money?

34 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Despite all my rage, I still keep refreshing the page.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

The first bowl of cereal makes you want a second, but the second makes you wish you stopped at the first.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Everyone knows that Christmas is the celebration of the immaculate conception of Mariah Carey.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Dear nurses, you don’t have to announce my weight, just write it down. That’s why I have my eyes closed when I’m on the scale.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Waitress: “Do you have any questions about the menu?” Me: “What kind of font is this?

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

l identify as a Christmas tree. Lit on the outside, dead on the inside.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Thanksgiving is just me trying to look cute while holding a fork like a medieval warrior.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Two mysterious people live in my house. “Somebody” and “Nobody.” Somebody did it and nobody knows who.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Weed smokers be like, “Hold up — before we go to the store, I have to get scared.”

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

I’ve broken all my New Year’s Resolutions so now I’m moving on to laws of nature.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

This is no glow. This is the rage that boils inside me.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

Achieving AGI by reducing the intelligence of the average human rather than increasing the intelligence of AI.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Just paid my rent, now I have a warm place to starve in.

Trending via WeChat:

Don’t rush into a relationship. Be friends first. Maybe they have hotter friends. Thank me later.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Dad Hack: Get your teen’s attention instantly by pre-heating the oven.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I believe my ex-wife is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

“At your big age” is one of my favorite insults.

Just landed via Threads:

Sorry, I can’t today, I have to rot in bed and squander my potential.

Breaking via Discord:

Paw Patrol is just annoying. Exactly how long do dogs live again on average?

Just landed via Messenger:

Getting ghosted by someone who bothered you in the first place is crazy.

Trending via Telegram:

Dates are weird, like, okay I guess I’ll dress up for my romantic interview.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I probably never die because I don’t finish anything without a specific deadline.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

We need a true crime show called Downtown Stabby.

Years of personal growth can be unraveled in 2 days at your parents’ house.

I’m at the age where I’m more likely to fall asleep at the movie theater than get frisky in one.

Short men store so much anger in their little body.

Single in the womb, single till the tomb!

I love unfollowing people. You have displeased me for the last time. Leave my sight.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨