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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

I love hard, but I stupid harder.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

One person’s logic is another one’s “what the heck?”

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Wow, this was a really long day of playing on my phone.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Gonna start using “with all dude respect”.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Love low-hanging fruit. Easiest kind to obtain, in my opinion.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Buying a new phone isn’t even satisfying anymore. It’s literally just your old phone with a haircut.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

My wife and I always eat dinner as fast as possible so we can have a popsicle.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

When I feel stupid, I like to remind myself that I got my bachelor’s degree without ChatGPT.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

This meeting could have been a pajama party.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

I’ll never understand people who go through self-checkout line and slowly and carefully scan their items. This line is for stealing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Jan 31, 2026

3,275

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

I need a leaf blower, but for people.

Spotted on WeChat:

Nothing gets my heart pumping like receiving an annoying newsletter.

Trending via Discord:

My soulmate is chocolate cake.

Breaking via Telegram:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here doing an epic air-drum solo to ‘In The Air Tonight’.

Going bananas on TikTok:

The worst thing about having children is the parents of the other children.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Career anxiety hitting at random hours of the day.

Trending via Snapchat:

Satan: “I’d tell you to go to Hell, but I work there and don’t wanna see you everyday.”

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Wish I could get paid just for being a sweetheart.

Spotted on WeChat:

The inventor of archery: Man, I really wanna stab that guy over there.

Trending via Discord:

Job interviewer: “Where do you see yourself in 5 years’ time?” Me: “My greatest strength is that I’m a good listener.”

I use a headshot from 2008 on my LinkedIn to prepare future employers for disappointment.

2 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Using a headshot from 2008 on LinkedIn is like setting up a blind date with someone and showing up 10 years older and 10 pounds heavier 😂🕰️. It's all about managing expectations, right? 🤷‍♂️ #ThrowbackThursday #LinkedInFail"

2008, disappointment, employer, expectations, future, headshot, humor, i, job, job search, LinkedIn, search

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on Slack this month:

Rewatching Avengers: Age of Ultron. Despite the title, they never tell you how old Ultron is.

51 shares on Twitch this month:

Curly fries are my favorite as they’re salty and spiraling, like me.

20 shares on Discord this month:

I support Bluesky in theory, but in practice, it’s like a JRPG with no bad guys.

33 shares on Telegram this month:

Many people love saying, “Get these away from me,” after eating a few chips.

79 shares on X this month:

Made the mistake of believing what I was told again.

24 shares on Discord this month:

My longest relationship has been with my Hotmail account.

61 shares on Messenger this month:

I love how you get on Twitter, and all your thoughts are already in someone else’s tweet.

30 shares on WeChat this month:

I hate commas. It’s not my job to tell you when you breathe. Work it out, you’re a grown adult.

96 shares on Messenger this month:

The most disturbing thing about waking up at 4 a.m. is realizing some people do this on purpose so they can exercise.

16 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Prime numbers are so cunty. Like okay, diva — only divisible by yourself?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Just thinking how many animals we had to ride on before we realized horses were ok with it.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The dumbest thing about YouTube ads is how they seem to think that I’m a moron.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is an abusement park.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Bored as hell. Anyone want to emotionally manipulate each other?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice-cream.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

What we need is more companies making hot sauce. I need 900 more ways to taste a thing that tastes exactly like all the other ones.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

“Some things are better left unsaid,” I think to myself immediately after I hit send.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If you pass out in front of your kids they will either try to call an ambulance or use you as a trampoline. You just don’t know.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My hobbies include trying to close the elevator doors before anyone else gets on.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,380

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

I’m bad at being sad. Three mins later, I’m making jokes about my situation.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

That’s kind of sexy of you to be a little weird.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

I’m chronically online in a different and more sophisticated way than you are.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Is ‘ugh’ an emotion? Because I fell it all the time.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

You are depressed because your ancestors fought, danced, and ate meals together, and you eat alone in the dark while staring at a glowing rectangle.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

I don’t expect everything handed to me, just set it down outside my door.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

“Treat yourself. You deserve it,” she says while adding the shoes to her cart.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Speaker phone in public should be illegal.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

God: “I’m all-knowing but I’d rather be all-forgetting.”

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

Picking up the hem of my baggy pants to walk up the stairs like it’s a ballgown.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I accidentally messed up my life. How do I start a new account?

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

The difference between coffee and your opinion is that I asked for coffee.

Going viral on X:

Some people pack their lives so full of activities, appointments and people that I get exhausted just reading about it.

Just landed via YouTube:

The clitoris has 8,000 nerves, if you gonna get on my nerves, get on one of those.

Making waves on WeChat:

“You’re so chill.” Thanks, I gave up.

Seen just now on X:

I don’t care for small talk. I prefer awkward silence.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Take your days off, these jobs don’t care about you.

Seen just now on X:

I accidentally take a screenshot of my phone background at least once a week.

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