55 funny search quotes - Wordgag

If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I’d just laugh and search with them.

May 25, 2026

The gaps in my resume are from the space bar.

May 25, 2026

Currently helping my husband look for his $20 I spent yesterday.

May 25, 2026

I’m willing to do anything for a job except write a cover letter.

May 25, 2026

Interviewer: “What did you learn from your previous job?” Me: “That I need a new job.”

May 25, 2026

I hope Google never goes down. I know like six, maybe seven, things.

May 25, 2026

I’m just a girl looking for another snack.

May 25, 2026

Nowadays, people no longer look for a needle in a haystack, but for errors in a spreadsheet.

May 24, 2026

8 year gap on resume that just says “karate”.

May 24, 2026

Googling “effect vs affect” in an incognito window.

May 24, 2026

Now that the nights are getting cooler again, spiders often hide in your bed in search of warmth. Sleep well!

May 23, 2026

Don’t worry, you’ll find the lost scissors when you’ll be searching for your glasses.

May 23, 2026

Googling symptoms until you cry.

May 23, 2026

“How is the job search going?” First of all, that is a violent question. And it hurts me, by the way. And second, how the hell should I know.

May 23, 2026

“I’m sure it’ll turn up” – Translation: I’m bored of helping you look.

May 23, 2026

Why is incognito mode always associated with freaky shit? I use it to search up very obvious questions, so there’s no record of me looking dumb.

May 22, 2026

My plumber asked me for a Google review. I said I thought it was a really good search engine and I’d give it 8/10.

May 22, 2026

Desperately searching the dating app settings for an option to turn down the difficulty level.

May 22, 2026

Thinking of starting a true crime podcast. Gotta explain this search history somehow.

May 22, 2026

Hey, we’re calling off the search party. We found a different guy out there we like more.

May 22, 2026

I finally have glasses, which is great because I needed one more thing to frantically search for every morning.

May 21, 2026

When I find it, I don’t need it. When I need it, I can’t find it.

May 20, 2026

Does anyone know if there’s a career in being a piece of shit?

May 20, 2026

*Googles: How to fake your own death and erase existence before 9am Monday morning.

May 20, 2026

I use a headshot from 2008 on my LinkedIn to prepare future employers for disappointment.

May 20, 2026

My CV is so good, companies are still reading it for 9 months.

May 20, 2026

Love when job applications ask for my desired salary so I can choose between not being hired and being exploited for my work.

May 19, 2026

Currently helping my nephew look for his M&M’s that I ate yesterday.

May 19, 2026

God’s plan for me does not involve LinkedIn at all.

May 19, 2026

In search of someone who loves me as much as I love my snooze button.

May 19, 2026

Netflix will help you finish spelling the name of the movie you’re looking for, and then tell you they don’t have it.

May 19, 2026

Asking “how’s the job hunt going?” is a lot like asking “did you come?” I promise you, you’d hear if there was any success.

May 19, 2026

I typed my name into Google’s search bar and it immediately auto-filled to “Doesn’t even listen to instructions” before crashing under the weight of disappointed search results.

May 18, 2026

I deleted Google when I met you because the search was over.

May 18, 2026

Make the Microsoft CEO search for an email on Outlook live on camera.

May 18, 2026

Looking over both shoulders before googling “Chinese burger.”

Apr 1, 2026

No open job postings for “Warrior Poet” found in your area. Please try another search.

Apr 1, 2026

When I die and y’all go through my search history, you’ll be disappointed to find mostly just definitions for very common words that I wasn’t sure I was using correctly.

Apr 1, 2026

When someone loses something, I like to ask helpful questions like ‘Where did you last see it?’ and ‘Where did you put it?’ and ‘Where is it?’

Apr 1, 2026

Before social media, you had to actively go out and find crazy people.

Mar 31, 2026