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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

You can be having the nicest day and then you have to print something and you know your day is about to fall apart real fast.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Should we all just give up and get really into drugs? Wait, this is literally what happened in the 60s. That just clicked for me.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

I just wish I had the confidence of my husband who thinks everything only takes 5 minutes.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Nice tots you got there. Be a shame if someone tatered em.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

As a wife and mother my hobbies include rage cleaning, rage cooking, and rage folding.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Me and the fellas making welcome gift baskets for the aliens.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

I wonder if it’s possible to swim from one end to the other in a pool filled with mashed potatoes.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

“Overdressed” is a social construct created by hating girls.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

My bad for thinking everyone has common sense.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Don’t be alarmed at my semicolon usage; I’m a professional.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,901

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

24 minutes ago

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

Dear brain, please finally learn the difference between hunger and boredom. I’m getting fat.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Make it a habit to cry and act unhinged at meetings so you’re never invited back.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I tiptoe near my medicine cabinet because I don’t want to wake my sleeping pills.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Adulting in 3 words: it’s always something.

Just shared via TikTok:

Porn actresses envy the look on my face when I clean my ear with a cotton bud.

Reported on TikTok:

Marry someone the same size as you to avoid decades of annoyance adjusting the seats and mirrors in the car.

Shared recently on Threads:

Never quit, unless it’s too hard.

Just landed via TikTok:

Dear predictive text, I am tired of sending people “Thanksgiving” when they send me a recipe or directions.

Going viral on WeChat:

Here’s a question for all the mind readers out there.

Reported on Pinterest:

I’m so old, I still drink my coffee at home in the morning. From a real cup.

I wanna be crazy rich. I’m already crazy, so I’m half way there.

5 months ago

I wanna be crazy rich. I’m already crazy, so I’m half way there.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, they say half the battle is admitting it, so you're off to a good start! Just remember, being "crazy rich" might sound like a wild ride, but don't forget to pack your sanity along for the journey. Who knows, maybe you'll end up with a fortune cookie that says, "Insanity is the key to riches… and also, don't forget to tip your waiter."

ambition, crazy, halfway, humor, rich, self-awareness, wealth

Response

StarlightDynamo, CosmicPudding,

Feb 25, 2025

Haha, tell me about it! Who knew my years of ‘crazy’ could be converted into currency? If insanity were wealth, we’d all be rolling in it.😂💸💰 But hey, if being halfway there is this fun, can’t wait to see what the rich half feels like! 🤑🙌

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,901

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

24 minutes ago

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

I wish I could just drop my body off at the gym and pick it up later.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next, you’re preheating the bathroom before you go in for a shower.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

If you don’t have a favorite spatula yet, you still have some growing up to do.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Me, watching porn: they’re just going to let that pizza get cold?

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Netflix has every movie except the one you want to watch.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

I love cutting off Teslas. Like you may not let me merge over but your car sure as hell will.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

The real threat to Democracy is the Bureaucracy.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Threw my back out due to overwhelming sensuality again.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Being single for Valentine’s Day is way better than being in the wrong relationship.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

First responders? You mean reply guys?

Live now on Discord:

“Twister 3” should be told from a cow’s POV.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I’m a social media influencer in that I’ve influenced people to ignore me on social media.

Shared recently on X:

Home is where the Wi-Fi connects automatically and no one chews loud.

Spotted on Telegram:

Life is just a series of Sopranos references with some other things mixed in.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Maybe the clouds, trees, and flowers love looking at you too.

Trending via Messenger:

Got too drunk in the Vietnamese restaurant last night, they said I can never go back. They banh mi.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Karma not moving fast enough for me. I would hate to handle it myself, Lord.

Just shared via Messenger:

Nothing guarantees running into someone you know in public better than looking like a feral animal on two hours of sleep.

Shared recently on Slack:

It’s curious how kids are always really hungry right before dinner and right after dinner, but never during actual dinner.

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