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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

People with ADHD be like “I can’t fry an egg, I got too much going on”.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Person: gives compliment. Me: let me give you a brief synopsis of why you are sorely mistaken.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Today I ate vegetable lasagna… I don’t want to talk about it.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Because it is Friday, I will allow one beautiful woman to invite me for drinks.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Sorry I lied when I said “I can’t complain.”

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Nutrition labels should include an “What if I ate the whole thing” section.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Stupidity begins where irony is no longer understood.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

I’m not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

The best part about being single is sleeping around. You can sleep all over that bed of yours – left, right, middle.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

I am a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1779 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,941

Funny Quotes Topics

14,751

Funny Quotes Images

11,941

2 minutes ago

3,433

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

It takes guts to be an organ donor.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Men be like, “But I’m different.” Yeah, a different type of disappointment.

Reported on Twitch:

I’m still trying to dig myself out my ringtone debt from the late 90’s.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I’m tired of being an adult. Therefore, I will be stepping down. Thank you!

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Letting her be the passenger princess cause I care about my safety.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I know it hurts like hell, and you don’t think you can do it, but it’s just one push-up.

Spotted on X:

At my age, you check a friend’s Facebook page to make sure they’re still alive before wishing them a happy birthday.

Just shared via Instagram:

When people give me directions and they’re like “you can’t miss it,” I’m like, “Oh, you do not know what I’m capable of.”

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I downloaded a meditation app. Now I’m stressed about missing sessions.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Parents be like, “I gave you everything I had,” and by everything, they meant the collector’s edition boxed set of mental illness.

I wanted to sleep it off, but insomnia said, “Not tonight, buddy.”

6 months ago

I wanted to sleep it off, but insomnia said, “Not tonight, buddy.”

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like insomnia gatecrashed the sleepover party! 🌙😴 Don't worry, your bed will still be there – lurking in the shadows, patiently waiting for you to surrender to its cozy embrace. Just remember, sleep may be playing hard to get, but it never turns down a persistent pursuer! 😉✨

buddy, i, insomnia, sleep, tonight, wanted

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1779 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,941

Funny Quotes Topics

14,751

Funny Quotes Images

11,941

2 minutes ago

3,442

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Starting is the hardest part. Unless it’s eating chocolate. Then stopping is the hardest part.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

It’s so hot out, I just hydroplaned off the toilet seat at work.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

If you’re worried that you added too much cheese to the recipe, I am here to reassure you that you did not.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Apple want $3,500 for their Vision Pro. No thanks. I can look like a dork for free.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

You only realize how heavy your handbag really is when your car tells you that your passenger is not wearing a seatbelt.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Headache pro-tip: Bang your toe into something.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

When fireworks were invented, it was ‘hisssss’ to ‘wheeeee’ in the making.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Aging is the worst. I miss the good ol’ days when my pain was strictly emotional.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

I’ve been locked out of Tinder because of “unusual activity”. I must’ve got a match.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

If I ever say “with all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

Elections is like waiting for the results of a biopsy, except half your family hopes it’s cancer.

Trending via Twitch:

Telling everyone I’m an undecided voter because I need the attention.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I received a DM telling me that I’ve offended some of you. I’m truly sorry; I meant to offend all of you.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Apparently, when you treat someone the same way they treat you, they get offended!

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

A frittata is just an omelette for people too lazy to flip things.

Breaking via Twitch:

Taylor Swift is a psyop designed to get my wife to hum little tunes here and there.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I have two dogs: one dominates, the other is a subwoofer.

Going viral on Reddit:

Everything is dishwasher safe if you don’t care enough about it.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Do you also have teenagers whose styling motto is: freeze to death for coolness?

Just landed via Snapchat:

Everybody has a girlfriend and a boyfriend, and I’m over here like “I love food”.

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