Some people can’t sleep because they have insomnia. I can’t sleep because I have Internet.

Some people can't sleep because they have insomnia. I can't sleep because I have Internet.

Commentary:
“Who needs counting sheep when you have endless scrolling? 💤📱 Just another night lost to the captivating abyss of cat videos and memes. #SleeplessInCyberspace”

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I wish I could throw tomatoes at comments.

    Commentary:
    If only we could pelt virtual tomatoes at all those keyboard warriors! 🍅💥 Maybe then they’d think twice before hitting “send” 😂🤔 #TomatoJustice

  • Notice how you don’t catch me in public, it’s because i’m not real.

    Commentary:
    “Ever wondered why Bigfoot and I are never seen together? That’s right, because we both belong in the mythical creatures club! 🤔👻 #KeepingItMysterious”

  • Sorry I can’t come today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandpa’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and it was tragic.

    Commentary:
    “Looks like we’ve got a real ‘fishy’ excuse on our hands here 🐠 Who knew a pet fish could have such a vast family tree? Maybe it was a distant relative of Nemo! 🐟😂 #ExcuseGameStrong”

  • Don’t forget, you are someone’s weird colleague.

    Commentary:
    🤪 Don’t worry if you feel a bit odd at work – remember, someone out there probably thinks you’re their quirky coworker! Embrace your uniqueness, because let’s face it, normal is overrated anyway! 🤣 #WeirdAndProud #OfficeAntics

  • I drink my coffee black because I like to save my calories for alcohol.

    Commentary:
    “Who needs cream and sugar when you can save those calories for the real party?! 🍸☕️ #priorities”

  • The heels stay on during sex because I only painted the toe nails that were showing.

    Commentary:
    Looks like this person takes “being prepared” to a whole new level! 😂💅 Who knew pedicure decisions could impact bedroom fashion? Just imagine the dedication and commitment involved! #FashionAndFunction #ToesOnPoint